🥀kitty smallpaws🥀

“Your posture is terrible, try sitting up straight!” or “You don’t exercise enough, do some work outs, you’ll probably feel SO much better!” or “You’re overreacting, it’s just a little back pain.” or “It must be your weight. Try losing a few pounds!” or “Your boobs must be too big, try a better bra” you get where I’m going with this lol.

Let me explain something. I can’t get too upset when I hear these things because bottom line is that it’s coming from people who literally DO NOT understand what we go through every day living with a bone disease. However I will never not be frustrated by it at the same time because it’s like.. How could you possibly think this condition is MY FAULT? Yes, there are always precautions that can be taken to prevent the worsening of the disease. HOWEVER, not everyone is blessed with the same opportunities, & therefore some of us (including myself) are not able to receive the help we need.

I remember way back in elementary school teachers would always tell you to sit up straight! & starting in about 3rd or 4th grade without even realizing it at the time, I would slouch in my seat really bad, & it only got worse over the years. In 7th grade I took a typing class & one of the main rules was to have proper posture & sit up completely straight. This class totally killed me. Not only is it embarrassing being told to sit up straight every 10 minutes, but man does it SUCK to have to pretend like it doesn’t hurt really bad to do so. (Let me add that plastic/metal school chairs never really helped the matter either.) Later in highschool, I ended up leaving halfway through my senior year to finish school at home because I could no longer handle sitting up straight 8 hours a day with a heavy book bag.

Exercise. Okay, I have to admit things such as stretching & yoga do help relieve SOME tension. But when your back is filled with knots, lumps, bumps, kinks, etc., the last thing you want to do is get up (or down) & do sit ups & squats. On my good days & here & there on my bad I try to get as much movement through the day as possible though.

Lol. What I go through everyday is far beyond a little bit of back pain. Stiffness, muscle aches, bone aches. My back cracks in a million different directions. I get constant sharp pains throughout my spine everyday. I’m now slouching to right because of my curves & there is literally no sitting position that is “comfortable”. My spine, seriously ACHES. The only way I can really describe this is that it feels like my spine is bruised. Like as if I fell backwards & hit myself on the edge of a bathtub or something. Constant aches in my hips & shoulder blades. I have a huge chunk of inflamed muscles in between my right shoulder blade & upper spine area. Also, I’ve got horrible stomach issues & have developed trouble breathing. So yeah, is it really just a little back pain???

I used to be 5'4" 150lbs. Doctors called me fat & told me it was probably why I was in so much pain. Within the last couple years I developed stomach issues & lost over 50lbs. I’ve also shrunk in height & am now about 5'2" & weigh 100 lbs. & I can accurately say that I’m in 10 million times more pain than I have ever been?