How to Dress Without Caring (and Look Like Yourself)
I didnโt stop caring to be cool. I stopped caring because I moved so often I never had time to catch up. every city had a new code, a new uniform, and I never had the instructions. so eventually, I gave up trying to follow them and realised I didnโt need them in the first place.
If youโre trying to let go of other peopleโs expectations, but still want to feel likeย youย when you get dressed, hereโs what actually helps:
How to Stop Caring (In a Healthy Way)
get used to being slightly misunderstood.ย people might not get your outfit, but thatโs fine, youโre not dressing for explanation.
stop dressing for the โideaโ of yourself.ย dress for how you feel that day, not for the version of you you think other people expect.
notice what you reach for on bad days.ย thatโs probably your real style. or at least a hint to what comforts you.
donโt justify your choices.ย Someone asks why youโre dressed like that? shrug. โI felt like it.โ thatโs enough.
realise the outfit you regret least is usually the one you felt most like yourself in.ย not the one you dressed up to impress.
accept that some days youโll look weird.ย thatโs part of it. style evolves through mistakes.
How to Find Your Style (When Youโve Stopped Performing)
start with colour.ย what colours do you feel good in? build around those. for me its cool toned pinks, light blue, cream, white, black, and deep red. I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about greys.
find a silhouette you love and wear it to death.ย long skirt girl. giant blazer guy. little shirt and big trousers combo. repeat it. no shame.
save outfit photos, not of others, of yourself.ย catch the ones where you look likeย you.
notice the textures you love touching.ย soft cotton, linen, leather, fleece, silk. let that guide your wardrobe.
make uniforms.ย youโre not boring for repeating things. youโre iconic. my uniform will always be the black skirt, tights, loafers, and some top combo. its my safe option.
shop like you have amnesia.ย ignore whatโs trendy. If you saw this in a thrift store and had never scrolled Pinterest, would you still want it?
let your clothes be a memory map.ย what you wore when you felt beautiful, or strong, or invisible in a good way. Keep those pieces close.
you donโt need to be a minimalist or a maximalist. you just need toย feel okayย walking out the door.
thatโs all style really is: the quiet confidence that you dressed for yourself. and no one else. <3
ellievsbear
blakekathryn
theartofmadeline
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