Sometimes all you can do is the best you can with what you have, and it is not enough.
I have often questioned why I am here. Why I am the way I am, why I feel what I feel, why things repeatedly occur in my life, and many other things about me. I wish I wasn't me quite often. I often just stare in order to help me shut down and restart to just get through life. They say suicide hurts those you leave behind the most, but I wish others could take a peak and see/feel what is hidden inside. I've spent years keeping silent for the most part. But I cannot stay silent anymore, this isn't a plea for attention. This is not me reaching out for help. I'm just a person who is long past her capacity to live. I'm long past my capacity to participate fully in life. I don't want pity, and i do not need people to be nice and feel sorry. I just want people to hopefully open their eyes to the world around them. Not take their milestones for granted. I want people to just try and stop to fully enjoy the good in their lives. I want people to appreciate every occurrence in their life before it's too late. If you need help, get help as soon as possible. Vocalise it, go to someone/find someone, if you do not know who to trust yet. Don't try to stuff it all and hide everything like I have for years. Keep your circles in check, keep people out who consistently put you down/belittle you. Only surround yourself with those who are moving through the waves of life. If someone is pushing you off your path you do not need this person in your life. Always check on your well being, and do not allow others to have input and/or control over your decisions. Make sure you have your oxygen mask securely fastened before you help those around you. And do not keep those people around who leave the instant their own mask is secured or once you have helped secure theirs. Life is too short to live your life not for yourself and not change how you live your life so you 100% enjoy yourself.
