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I'm doing great! I still have my boyfriend that I love more than anything, I'm currently in a new program at school in pastry and bakery, my boyfriend is in the same school learning cooking and I have anxiety but I'm working on that! Mm... I'm doing better emotionally speaking and I fell less empty qnd depressive than before!! I just felt like I needed time for myself away from tumblr but here I am!!

I wont say I’m the best student ever. I’m not and never will be. But it’s not a reason to tell me in my face how easy classes are when I was rushing and wanted to give up. I’m doing what I can with what I have of motivation. I want to give up but I won’t. Don’t tell me how easy it is for you when it isn’t for me. My sister already had it easy. She’s good at school and find it simple. I’m not like that and she doesn’t understand that. Heck I even felt the tears went up my eyes when I was telling her how she doesn’t understand. I’m not perfect and I never will be. I am already anxious to the point I cant call to take an appointment to the clinic. I feel insecure almost all the time. I feel like shit. But im breathing and I’m trying to take it as a good thing.

That man I trust like a family member told me something that brings me tears each time I think about it; “a child should never worry about his parents. They can find help anywhere, but a child should always rely on them. You shouldn’t protect your mother. She is able to protect herself and her job is to protect you too. So stop trying to be strong and independant and go talk to her. You love her and she loves you, but you are still just a child. So do not protect her, but yourself.”

I think I’m starting to have anxiety troubles… each time I do something else than working or staying home I get sick. It feels like I’m always about to loose consciousness.