some angst idk yโall i like crying
โย i donโt want you here.ย just go.ย โย
โย you โdidnโt mean to hurt me?โย yeah you did.ย like it or not,ย i know exactly who you are. ย โย
โย why wonโt you even look at me?ย โ
โย iโm not angry at you.ย iโm angry with myself for trusting you.ย โ
โย i wish youโdย stop trying to destroy yourself in some misguided effort to feel worthy.ย โ
โย i know itโs not fair to say this,ย but i donโt have anything without you.ย if i donโt have you i have nothing.ย โ
โย you canโt love me.ย not the way i need to be loved.ย โ
โย iโm broken.ย and i donโt need anyone to try to feed me white lies about it.ย something inside me is broken and it isnโt just going to be put back like it was.ย โย
โย sometimes being broken isnโt about trying to put things back together like they were before.ย itโs about picking up what pieces are left and building something new.ย โ
โย okay,ย so youโre a monster.ย so am i.ย lets be monsters together.ย โย
โย because of what they/you did iโm damaged.ย โย ย
โย what the hell is wrong with you?ย โ
โย what the hell is wrong with me?ย โ
โย i canโt fix you.ย you canโt expect me to know how to fix you.ย โย
โย yeah,ย iโll be here.ย iโll be here when youโre ready to stop running.ย โ
โย ย my world is just falling apart.ย itโs like everything is just crumbling around me.ย i donโt know what to do.ย i just want it to stopย โย ย
โย youโre the only thing that makes sense right now.ย everything else is justโย the world is so loud.ย and the only time it feels quiet is when youโre here.ย โ
โย i donโt know how to talk about shit okay?ย itโs too hard.ย but i do care.ย i need you to trust me that i care.ย โ
ย โย ย stop punishing yourself.ย you wanna make up for what youโve done?ย get off your ass and do something about it.ย โ
โย whatever it is you think was going on between us,ย youโre wrong.ย โ
โย it didnโt mean anything to me.ย โย
โย you should move on.ย i did.ย โย ย
โย i feel like iโm one bad day away from becoming everything iโve fought against.ย โย
โย stop pushing me away.ย iโm not going anywhere,ย asshole.ย and as soon as you get that through that thick skull of yours,ย the better.ย โย ย
โย i donโt need you in my life.ย i donโt want you in it.ย ย โย ย
โย i canโt trust myself.ย if i let myself get comfortable enough,ย when i try to be happy,ย people get hurt.ย โย ย
โย people like me donโt get to have peace.ย โย ย
โย iโm not the person you want.ย i know you think i am.ย but it wonโt take long for you to realize this is a mistake.ย โย ย
โย you want the truth?ย the truth is when i love people it burns inside me like a poison.ย it infects every part of me until it feels like theyโre in my goddamn soulโฆand then i fuck it up.ย and itโll destroy us both.ย โย ย
โย ย iโll always choose you.ย thatโs the worst part of it all.ย iโd choose you over and over, even though i know you wouldnโt do the same.ย โย ย
โย you never had to be perfect.ย you just had to stay.ย โ
โย will you please just stay for once.ย just.ย donโt walk away.ย โย
โย if i loved you less,ย i might be able to talk about it more.ย โย ย
โย just tell me something real.ย tell me something i can remember no matter what happens to us.ย โ
โย when you look at me,ย i feel seen.ย i feel like you see past everything iโve always surrounded myself with to try and protect my heart.ย no one has ever looked that deeply at me.ย ย โย ย
โย how can you uncover so much about someone,ย make them let their guard down and lay themselves bare to you.ย and then just throw it all away?ย โ
โย if you walk out that door donโt bother coming back.ย โ
โย why are you so afraid of trusting thisโย trusting us.ย whatโs making you hold back?ย โ
โย will you still be here?ย will you stay even after youโve seen all the ugly parts of my heart.ย โย ย
โย i donโt care how willing you are to die for me.ย i want you to fucking live with me.ย live for us.ย โย
[ DISCOVER ] for one muse to find the other crying alone.ย
[ COMPANY ] for one muse to sit with the other so they donโt have to be alone while theyโre upset.ย
[ EMBRACE ]ย for one muse to suddenly hug the other one for their own comfort.ย
[ OFFER ] for one muse to suddenly hug the other one to comfort them.
[ SETTLE ] for one muse to comfort the other and end up cuddling.ย
[ SHOULDER ] for one muse to rest their head on the otherโs shoulder while they comfort them.ย
[ CARRY ]ย for one muse to find the other injured and carry them to safety.
[ SECURE ] for one muse to carry the other to bed after they fell asleep.ย
[ STRUGGLE ]ย for one muse to resist being hugged but then break down and crumble against the other.ย
[ CLEAR ] for one muse to wipe the otherโs tears.ย
[ BREAKDOWN ] for one muse to ask the other if theyโre okay prompting them to finally stop bottling things up.ย
[ BRUSH ] for one muse to run their fingers through the otherโs hair while they open up or cry.ย
[ NURSE ] for one muse to tend to the other while theyโre recovering from injuries.ย
[ TRUST ] for a scenario where senderโs muse is the only one receivers muse will let close.ย
[ COAX ] for scenario where receiverโs muse knows theyโreย the only one senderโs muse will let close.ย
[ CALM ] for one muse to subdue the other during an outburst.ย
[ CLARITY ]ย for one muse to help ground the other back in the presentย (i.e. after nightmare, breakdown, battle etc)
[ PREVENT ] for one muse to stop the other from going too far during a fight.ย