"Oh. You are kidding me."

Welcome to ParadoxRewritten's Main Page. Call me "Koda" if you want to. I go by they/them or he/him, just please avoid using feminine pronouns for me. I dove back into Cookie run fandom after years of other fandoms getting a good grasp on my attention span.

Stuff you need to know or something- Can It be considered "Guidelines"-?

Asks are OPEN! Don't be afraid to ask me stuff to just messing around and chat though keep in mind I may not reply immediately so please don't get dishearten by it!

This blog will be Cookie Run stuff alone like Ovenbreak and Kingdom (Idk much about the others- I am sorry) but other fandoms will be noticed cause crossover and whatnot.

I do "X reader" stuff but I am NOT good at writing at all. So, if your gonna try and ask me for one. Do not expect a highly quality writing from me since I am more good at drawing it than writing it.

*More notes in the future cause I am not sure what to write*

"Look, we both said a lot of things that you're going to regret, but I think we can work out our differences. You monster."

It's

✨️ MY MAIN BLOG! ✨️

Come on now, everyone knows that if you want a consistent production of golden eggs, you’d get in the tent with Golden Cheese Cookie. She can reliably give you golden eggs no issue!

SHE IS JUST SO AMAZING please indulge me at least interaction of Awaked Hollyberry- sobbin n crying over her 😭💕

[Main Story kinda?]

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“I’ve got you!”

Hollyberry Cookie dashed for you and catches your falling body mid-air as she rolled when hitting the ground, clutching you close to keep you safe.

You weakly open your eyes to her.

“H-Hollyberry Cookie?”

“Yes, it is me! Are you alright, Y/N Cookie?”

“I guess…I am now, thanks to you.”

“I’m relieved.”

Hollyberry inspects you more for injuries, her worry for you there nearly made you fall apart at how close of a call you had.

“She came close. To entering my heart. I couldn’t fight it, she was so much like them, I was almost tricked! I-I’m sorry, Hollyberry Cookie. I thought I was strong enough after all these years and-“

“You ARE strong, Y/N Cookie. For having to carry that ache in your heart since forever. To have held out until my awakening only proved that to me. They would’ve been proud of you…”

“Yeah, I bet they would’ve….”

Hollyberry hugged you tight as you reciprocated. It wasn’t like her previous, bone-crushingly happy hugs, but one of sincerity. It was what you needed after the ordeal…

She sets you down as she turned to face the demon.

“No….NO! What have you done? I was right there, so close to understanding them and their feelings. They never knew what happiness meant since THEY left their life, I was supposed to fill in the void that they left in Y/N Cookie’s chest! I took them under my care, I protected them from that painful memory that has ruined their heart for too long! And you ruined it. You never should’ve came here. I shouldn’t have let you. I was wrong to let you pollute them. I was wrong to not have dealt with you from the start.”

“If you think like that, then you truly don’t understand Y/N Cookie! Ready, my dearest friend?”

“Eternal Sugar Cookie…you should really work on your convincing skills.”

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· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

I got reminded of that Doom and Shroom video lol

You: “As for my second announcement, I have brought upon us all more food!”

Your followers rallied and cheered at the news!

You: “Oh, Licorice Cookie, honey! Please see to it that everyone gets…their…part?”

He wasn’t at your side when you called for him. Very unusual!

You: “Licorice Cookie? My dear followers, where’s my husband?”

Your followers exchanged worried looks as Dark Choco Cookie had to break the news.

Dark Choco Cookie: “My leader, I’m afraid Licorice Cookie has passed while you were away on your crusade.”

You held a hand to your mouth as you gasped, your followers grew worried as they see how you took the news. You look to the side, hurt.

You: “That’s…a shame. I will deeply miss him. Please, a moment of silence for our fallen friend and MY beloved husband…”

Your followers closed their eyes and sunk their heads down slightly to remember him….

…

…

…

You immediately point to Aquamarine Cookie, who was in her fishbowl on a cart.

You: “Alright, you! We’re married now!”

Aquamarine gasped as her face blushed blue as her fellow cult members cheered for her.

Aquamarine Cookie: “Oh my~! Thank you!”

You toss her a robe.

You: “Here is your marital robe! I made sure any Cookie could wear them!”

Aquamarine Cookie: “Ah! It’s in my size!”

You: “And would you please handle the preparation of the food for today’s feast.”

Your followers chanted for food as you passed along the bags to Aquamarine.

Aquamarine Cookie: “Anything for you.”

You and her share a kiss, the cute sight adoring your follower. Well, not all of them.

Pomegranate Cookie: “Lucky bitch.”

This is her internally /j

Beasts/Ancients: So why don't you give me one more-

*Cream Ferret slam the door*

My Lambert!Y/N design isn't so cool ik-

Idk how to do shadow milk's mannerisms so let's pretend I do know

"Oh Lamby~ Please make me as your one and only partner~!"

"Wait where in the ever loving witches did you came from? Are you a spy..?"

Ignore the bg, some cookie is just fuming rn

Bonus here ya'll come get it

https://www.tumblr.com/brittle-doughie/784221281524613120/inspired-by-this-seeming-upcoming-cotl-au-also-i?source=share

Im so happy to hear that! Also would love to read it!

Or let's be more straight forward... Marriage then get freaky in that Mating tent.

Ahem.

"I AM WORTHY FOR YOUR RITUAL! I AM WORTHY TO BE YOUR WIFE! I MADE TO BE WITH YOU!"

or smth like that

Lambert!Y/N over here:

Their loyal disciple is panicking...

Disciple cookie is done with Lambert!Y/N shit...

Shadow Milk Cookie is gonna be begging Lambert!Y/N for that Marriage Ritual and thinks the mating tent looks very empty- wait. what. freaky Shadow Milk strikes again

Eternal Sugar Cookie casually about to knock out Shadow Milk Cookie with a smile on her face:

"That spot is only reserved for ME and ONLY M E~ !"

✨️ Fight Pit Ritual ✨️

Whoever wins shall get Lambert!Y/N in that mating tent

*Eternal sugar is about to goddamn kill Shadow Milk*

Happy Birthday! Bakeday? And Anniversary to my favorite cookie, Royal Margarine cookie! I want to take this opportunity to share how I imagine he'd celebrate the day of his creation years before meeting the Red Dragon gang.

I also want to take this chance to remind everyone that Royal Margarine is way more than what the fandom portrays him. He's a cookie with his own traumas and issues that we can all see him go through and over come in the game. He's not some freaky perverted cookie and he's more than just a pathetic man failure.