•brief moments of wit•

My girlfriend is a major Skrillex fan (eh, whatever. I like EDM, but I don’t like that “bro-y” kinda dubstep). It turns out a couple of her “friends” in class were too. So she asked me if I could get my friend to give her and her friends four tickets. I was wary, because I didn’t know these chicks and they looked bitchy, but I trusted her judgment. I talked to my friend, got the tickets, and gave them to my girlfriend.

It turns out that my girlfriend trusted these bitches too much, because she gave them the tickets to hold on to, since one of them was going to drive everyone (you could use the bus system, but this was December, and it was too cold to wait outside).

Naturally, shit goes South, and my girlfriend is calling me crying a few hours before the concert, saying that the girls just ditched her and decided to bring a different friend instead. Now, I was driving home for the weekend, but as soon as I heard this, I called my dad and told him I’d be a day late. As soon as I explained the situation, he laughed, because he knew I was going to do something or the other in response.

I called my bouncer friend an hour and a half before doors opened, once I’d reached campus again. I let him know about the situation, and since these tickets were those “print out and scan the bar code” kind, he just cancelled those four tickets, and actually printed out two new ones specifically for me and my girl (I picked them up myself, and he told me he’d kick my ass if I let anyone have them this time).

My girlfriend was so excited when I told her this, and we both quickly got ready (well… I quickly got ready). We showed up half an hour before the doors were going to open, ready to hear a bass drop so sick it would make ebola seem like a cold. As we showed up, there was naturally a long as hell line, and luckily, about twenty people in front of us were those bitches.

As soon as the doors opened, they started letting people in, scanning tickets, and checking IDs. Once the bitches were getting their tickets scanned, the bouncer (my friend) saw from the error that these were the tickets that were the ones stolen. He saw me a little bit behind, and told them to wait on the side while he let in the next few people.

After the next ten people, they start whining and complaining that they should be let in because they’re going to lose good spots. He tells them there’s an issue with their tickets, and once my girlfriend and I show up, they immediately shut the fuck up and their faces turned really white. He scans our tickets, says to them “Oh look, these were the tickets you girls wanted, weren’t they?” and they just stormed out of line, pissed as hell.

As they left, I yelled “if you want, you can just sit by the walls and feel the bass from there!” (I was kidding, but honestly, Skrillex uses way too much bass for my taste. Holy shit, my heart was shaking during that concert.)

“give me that spongebob crib fam”