I Don't Exist... Apparently.

           He took a deep breath to calm himself. This was not a discussion worth getting mad over.

It took a few short moments for his system to alert him of a matter that needed looking into. DNA.

…

Apparently this chap had genetic-relations to a fifty-pencer, a beloved fifty-pencer, and so that meant:

"Scanning indicates subject has relations to a fifty-pencer. System reassessment initiated."

"System reassessment completed. If the subject wishes to engage a more profound friendship, ten pence must be inserted into the given coin slot located on my chest."

Simon blinked and looked the man over before offering a polite smile.

           When it smiled, Erin screamed in the most undignified manner before he stumbled away. He tripped over his own two feet, landing on his ass before he scrambled backward through the hall until his shoulders met the wood of the guest room door behind him.

          "Good fucking lord! What fresh hell did you hatch from and claw your way out of?! Oh my Fate! Stay back! I'm-- I'm unarmed. Shit I'm unarmed--"

           Something the thing said, however, caused him to pause and re-evaluate.

           "How the fuck do you know my mom?"

       He didn’t want to be there - but that really wasn’t anything new. His little brother wanted him to keep at it, but he was not in the mood. So he went to interview, or at least to just explore.

      Exploration seemed like the best idea since he didn’t even know what they were looking for yet. With his hands in his pockets, he wandered through the building, and then looked up as the other man came out and right into him, and he stumbled back slightly, raising his eyebrows.

           "Sorry," he mumbled, staring down at his feet now. His shoulders tensed up, uncomfortable under this guy's gaze. "Sorry I just... I needed out of there and I'm gonna go--" 

"Well, dear," Crowley put a cover on the pan to chike a fire and lifted it immediately. The scent of the roast meat filled the kitchen. "Are you here to taste my steak or to discuss your problems? Or both?" He took the pan, two plates and came to the table.

When he had freaked out from her touch, she quickly stepped back, tossing her hands in the air. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She apologize quickly, not entirely use to his sort of reaction from a quick touch of the flesh but at least she knew how not to touch him at all. Top mental note when it came to him.

Placing her cup down, she moved back to the door frame, where she rested her shoulder upon the wood, giving him space to calm, if he even could.

"I am not familiar with those." Sky let out. "Could you possibly tell me more though, when you’re not…" She stopped herself knowing if she asked for more information after his freak out would be considered rude especially when it was her own fault. "Nevermind."

            After he calmed himself into the point where he was able to breathe more functionally, Erin crossed his arms with his hands hidden.

           "Sages are the sons and daughters of Fate and Nature. They take on the forms of the prima materia, or first elements. They represent the very basic natures of alchemy. When I was born, those creatures were tainted by the darkness. My mother was a soldier in a fight against them. Shadows, and nightshades, and shades were all sort of creatures they faced in those armies. Fate is our lord, the power of his light cast through the darkness and allowed the soldiers of his heaven defeat Nature's Mother. Obviously, none of that happened here, and alchemy doesn't exist."

           "Well, Joe MacMillan, this has been both equally uncomfortable and terrifying. I'm going to put some pants on, and find the liquor cabinet. I think you were set up, dude. You need to get some better security or something, or a restraining order from whoever gave you that piece of papers. That's some bullshit invasion of... of self."

     “And don’t call me an animal. I’m not an animal…” He would have been angrier if he wasn’t searching for these papers. They had to be in order, not to mention they were time-sensitive. His mind was focused somewhere other than being called an animal.

The women moved from the doorway to over where he was standing, her gaze wondering his features before reaching up, giving his cheeks a slight pinch to know if his form was real or just a show. “Sorry.” He was all flesh. Grabbing her drink, she took a small step back.

A small laugh escaped her lips. “Oh trust me, you’re not the worse case I’ve seen. Just my knowledge of people from an alternative universes is limited. So Erin, where you’re from. Did you encounter or know of other beings that are not from this planet? Or were they just stories?”

           "She's a time traveller," he explained. "In this universe. A time traveller who seems to have gotten caught up in more important things than explaining to me what I'm doing here. Her and my uncle are off looking at other planets, I think. She used the same jargon as you, and it still all sounds like gibberish to me," he spat the last line in frustration. 

           That's when she grabbed his cheeks. Erin reeled back from her, panic shooting through his chest like bolts of lightning. He yelled and grabbed at the counter, chest heaving.

           "Don't. Don't touch me. Don't fucking touch me," he hissed a little too harshly. "For the love of god please don't touch my face. Don't. That's insanely too close and personal for me, and I would really fucking appreciate it if you just didn't do that again. Thanks."

           It took a few moments, leaning over the sink and some heavy deep breaths to settle himself down. His arms were shaking, knuckles white as he gripped the counter before him. 

      “Asshole.” he spat. “Watch where you’re goin’, you stupid Terran!” he hissed. “You’re so tall, you can step over somethin’ that’s two and a half feet off the ground, c’,mon!”

           "I said I was sorry," he repeated in a breath, offering the papers out to the creature before him. "To be honest, I wasn't really expecting talking animals today, or especially from this world. It's kind of a relief, actually." Erin could deal with talking animals. Talking animals, from his perspective was normal. It was the first thing in a long time to remind him so solidly of the chimera at home.

           "I suppose that makes sense. Usually when something was on fire in my house, whatever had been lit exploded shortly after. Reasonable cause for worry, wouldn't you say?" Erin was rambling a bit, the sweat on his palms still an indication of how nervous he was. 

            Erin took a drink of his hot chocolate to stifle the laughter that was trying to rise up out of his chest.