A good Omens Side Blog

Been thinking more about this scene because like..

It's clearly an "Oh" moment

But how tf am I supposed to believe that Crowley, who we all know has been feeling love for Aziraphale since the garden of Eden And has spent thousands of years living amongst humans, engaging in their customs, watching their movies, listening to their music never identified "oh! this feeling is kind of similar to human love"

But like... it would be so Crowley to just think it was a singular experience. To just be so swept up in the enormity of his emotions, and to believe he is the only being that's ever felt this way. Why would he ever think to link it to it to humanity? it probably feels much bigger than that, humans could never understand. and if this feeling truly started on the wall in Eden, he wouldn't have had the human context to frame it with yet anyway It's not until Nina reframes it for him that he's like "oh, shit"

Aziraphale is desperately trying to convince himself he's made the right decision, that he can change Heaven, that he can do some good. Now he just has to prove it

But I want to focus more on Crowley. I don't believe this shot of Crowley is heartbroken. Maybe a little bit, but mostly he's angry.

It's the kind of anger you get when you love someone and you spend so much time with them, knowing the place they come from isn't good for them even if they themselves refuse to see it. It's the kind of anger you feel when you see them progress and stick up for themself instead of just following along, and then suddenly its just gone.

It's exactly the kind of anger you feel when you try so hard and you still can't save someone from going back to a place that just tears them down.

You know you can't stop them. You can't make their decisions for them. But it still fucking hurts.

Water is not sliding off his back.

He did not realize he felt romantic attraction towards Aziraphale for 6000 years ‼️ Crowley thanks cars when he crosses the road, his favorite tv shows are Golden Girls and The Good Place, he makes silly faces at his Angel, he doesn’t want to hurt people, he talks to his car and his plants, he’s down so bad for Aziraphale that he runs his their bookshop for a day, lets him drive his their car and follows Aziraphale around as he Does Shit and Crowley simply watches, smitten. Crowleys idea of evil is glueing coins to the ground and making a Big Road look like a sigil - how fun! He went to a Gas Station only once because he wanted James Bond Bullet Hole Stickers for the Bentley. His name and phone number are in a Call Center Database. He jumps at every opportunity to save Aziraphale. The Bastille in France? No problem let me just stop time for a few moments, Angel. A Church during WW2 because Angel wanted to do some Good but fell into the evil hands of Nazis? Sure yes let me just do a chicken dance down the the aisle because my feet burn because this is literally consecrated ground - what did you say? You don’t like my new name, Angel?☹️

Crowley takes himself off to the french restaurant and is drowning his sorrows in a bottle of wine while having the realisation that he's been following the angel around like a lovesick puppy all day with no other possible agenda other than to be around him.

And then he sees Aziraphale and whistles him over but the angel is too busy to join him for a wine in the middle of the day and Crowley tries to divert questions by complaining that he's scared Gabriel/Jim is gonna smite him and he'll be well and truly smote, no, smoted? Smited? What's the word he's looking for?

And the angel gives him a knowing look and says:

"Smitten, I believe."

PERFECTION.

GRAMMATICAL CORRECTION AND DIAGNOSIS IN A SENTENCE.

AZIRAPHALE JUST READ HIM LIKE A HIGHLY COLLECTIBLE BOOK AND DOESN'T EVEN REALISE HE HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD.

This is my new favourite double entendre.

Smitten as the past tense of Smite. And the exact reason Crowley is drinking in the middle of the day.

He's realising he's smitten, your honour.

So, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I keep seeing metas about how Aziraphale wants Crowley to return to Heaven and be an angel again because he wants them to be on the same side/be good/change/etc., etc., etc. but I don’t see that at all. I actually see it as the very opposite.

Aziraphale loves Crowley just as he is. But there’s something more. Something huge.

a) does not directly address Aziraphale’s offer beyond “what?? no!”

b) immediately switches topics to wanting to run away to the stars together

c) never ever directly says “I love you and I want to be a couple”

From Aziraphale’s perspective, he’s giddy to give Crowley universe-shaking good news, and Crowley says, “FUCK NO!! btw I like spending time with you, what if we hnnngk RAN AWAY?”

Crowley’s love confession is fairly roundabout and unclear, and Aziraphale would have had to unpack it to understand it even if he were focused on it, but he’s not thinking at all about what Crowley’s saying, he’s only thinking about what he’s offering Crowley and that Crowley is very angrily saying no.

They did not walk out of there with Crowley destroyed and Aziraphale bummed but getting over it once he was in the elevator. Aziraphale went to Crowley all giddy and excited because he really thought this was finally it, this was finally their chance to be happy, and he sees it as Crowley taking that chance and stomping on it. H wasn’t lying when he said he needed Crowley, he DOES, and now he thinks Crowley chose his hate for heaven over his love for him just as Crowley thinks Aziraphale chose his devotion to god over his devotion to him

It wasn’t as simple as “Aziraphale rejected Crowley” they both think the other rejected them it was essentially the messiest mutual break up you’ve ever seen

aziraphale is correct that heaven needs fixing! we can quibble over whether accepting a job as the boss is the right way to do that, but ultimately leaving michael or whoever in charge is going to lead to armageddon 2 armageddon harder. it simply will not work. the problem is that he's fumbling the relationship with crowley because he still needs to get over the idea of there being an inherently good and bad side and he needs to stop thinking that it's crowley being a demon that's keeping them apart. it's his own black and white logic that's doing that.

how Crowley’s self-loathing colors the way he sees Aziraphale’s interactions with him and how we should take that negative bias into account

I’m not even gonna talk about the whole final scene/misunderstanding because we’ve all talked about that one by now. Instead I want to talk about Crowley’s description of the 3 reasons Aziraphale calls him:

(Paraphrasing) “you’re bored; you need to tell someone about something clever you did; something’s wrong”

this is a succinct breakdown and it lowkey paints Aziraphale in a bad light; Aziraphale only calls Crowley when it’s beneficial to him; this is a transactional relationship

but like, I think, to some degree, those 3 reasons are simply the only reasons Crowley can actually imagine Aziraphale being interested in talking to him. The last one is a common song and dance between them, sure, but what about the first 2?

Aziraphale calling out of the blue, rambling about how things have been slow and quiet in the neighborhood of late and wanting to take that time to catch up - Crowley can’t fathom ‘Aziraphale missed my voice and wanted to make sure I was doing okay’ and turns it into ‘Aziraphale is just bored obviously’

Aziraphale calling, absolutely giddy, talking a mile a minute about something clever he’s done can’t possibly be ‘I’m the first person he wants to share his victories with, the person whose opinion matters the most to him now and always’ so instead it’s ‘Aziraphale just needed someone to tell this to before he popped’

(There’s an interesting thing implied here as well, which is that it’s Aziraphale calling Crowley regularly and yet we talk about how Aziraphale isn’t taking initiative in the relationship but I digress)

Point is, I think Crowley knows that Aziraphale likes him, it’s part of what makes everything so heartbreaking - the way he ends up being rejected in spite of that - but just like I think he misunderstands Aziraphale’s heaven proposal because he can’t see that Aziraphale thinks he is better than heaven already, he misunderstands any reason Aziraphale would possibly reach out to him as some level of wanting something rather than… just wanting to talk to him. He doesn’t recognize that he is Enough for Aziraphale, no strings or acts of service attached.

my newest painful obsession: aziraphale thought crowley came back for him.

they kiss, aziraphale says i forgive you and instead condemns them both, crowley leaves. the lip touching itself is fucking essay worthy because holy SHIT the amount of micro expressions flickering across his face is endless, michael sheen acted his ass off.

i think it's a mixture of surprise, unspoken love, a HEAVY dose of fear, disbelief, and oh my god what did he just do what did i just do. he turns away from the door and we get a very very quick shot of how exactly he is angled.

standing up straight with faked spiteful anger, the same anger he spit at crowley out of fear and insecurity, chin up, clearly waiting for something - or rather someone. we gotta remember that every single time crowley has left aziraphale, he came back. every. single. time. he came back and apologized, that's what they do.

crowley comes back and aziraphale forgives him and they continue bearing their silence.

the bell rings when the door opens again, just like it did when crowley left, and just. look at his face. how quickly he swivels around. the blink and you will miss it spark of hope.

and then the pure devastation when he realizes it's not crowley.

aziraphale thought crowley was coming back for him. he was WAITING for him to come back. even after all that, he couldn't imagine crowley actually leaving him behind, especially not after that kiss and his entire indirect love confession.

just like crowley thought for a tiny heartbeat that aziraphale was kissing him back, aziraphale hoped, hell, he fucking thought he KNEW crowley would never abandon him. not after "i could always rely on you. you could always rely on me." aziraphale has taken him for granted, of course he thought it was him coming through the door.

but that spark of hope gets stomped out beneath the metatrash's feet and he fully turns around, unable to face him and the reality of it all.

this time, he went too far.

this time, crowley did not want forgiveness.

he was about to say i love you and turned it into i forgive you, still clinging to their old ways, their old rituals, just that they are no longer those beings, no longer in that specific relationship. everything has changed.

And Crowley’s just been standing next to the Bentley staring back, unmoving, not giving an inch. Aziraphale checks out the window maybe three times in hopes that Crowley will come back but he’s not, and only on seeing that Crowley is not coming back is when Aziraphale decides to just commit to the bit and go back to Heaven.

here he is, looking directly at crowley, who probably stares back.

and again

still looking while the metatron leaves and expects him to follow

here he is, about to tell him to wait, that he wants to stay on earth. but then he looks out of the window again

hoping, against all odds, that crowley will move, do something, anything. that crowley will come back and give him a reason to stay.

but he doesn't. and this is when his heart just. breaks. and he takes all that anger and grief and sadness and turns it into spite and a mask of angelic happiness. they're done, he will leave. it's over.

just that once again, like crowley, he can't but still hope. so he stops and he looks for him one last time.

and, see, the irony is that they are both too stubborn for their own good sometimes.

aziraphale is waiting for crowley to move and crowley is waiting for aziraphale to move.

my newest painful obsession: aziraphale thought crowley came back for him.

they kiss, aziraphale says i forgive you and instead condemns them both, crowley leaves. the lip touching itself is fucking essay worthy because holy SHIT the amount of micro expressions flickering across his face is endless, michael sheen acted his ass off.

i think it's a mixture of surprise, unspoken love, a HEAVY dose of fear, disbelief, and oh my god what did he just do what did i just do. he turns away from the door and we get a very very quick shot of how exactly he is angled.

standing up straight with faked spiteful anger, the same anger he spit at crowley out of fear and insecurity, chin up, clearly waiting for something - or rather someone. we gotta remember that every single time crowley has left aziraphale, he came back. every. single. time. he came back and apologized, that's what they do.

crowley comes back and aziraphale forgives him and they continue bearing their silence.

the bell rings when the door opens again, just like it did when crowley left, and just. look at his face. how quickly he swivels around. the blink and you will miss it spark of hope.

and then the pure devastation when he realizes it's not crowley.

aziraphale thought crowley was coming back for him. he was WAITING for him to come back. even after all that, he couldn't imagine crowley actually leaving him behind, especially not after that kiss and his entire indirect love confession.

just like crowley thought for a tiny heartbeat that aziraphale was kissing him back, aziraphale hoped, hell, he fucking thought he KNEW crowley would never abandon him. not after "i could always rely on you. you could always rely on me." aziraphale has taken him for granted, of course he thought it was him coming through the door.

but that spark of hope gets stomped out beneath the metatrash's feet and he fully turns around, unable to face him and the reality of it all.

this time, he went too far.

this time, crowley did not want forgiveness.

he was about to say i love you and turned it into i forgive you, still clinging to their old ways, their old rituals, just that they are no longer those beings, no longer in that specific relationship. everything has changed.

And Crowley’s just been standing next to the Bentley staring back, unmoving, not giving an inch. Aziraphale checks out the window maybe three times in hopes that Crowley will come back but he’s not, and only on seeing that Crowley is not coming back is when Aziraphale decides to just commit to the bit and go back to Heaven.

Point is, he remembers, he clearly has memories of his angel life. But he keeps pretending he doesn’t remember things.