Nobody's Favorite

Journal d'astro-géologie, de macroéconomique et de non-homéopathie

I think I see a problem 

so hey who else was taught as a kid that “”””wanting attention”””” in any way was wrong and shameful and has grown up unable ask for help or support even in great distress/suffering

And don’t forget the You Can Tell Me Anything (Except Things I Don’t Want to Hear)™.

Bonus round of You Can Tell Me Anything (But If I Don’t Like It You’re In Big Trouble Even If You’re Asking For Help)

I’m Always Here For You! (Until You Upset Me In Any Way)™.

I’m lucky to have such a well behaved kid! (Until you make one tiny slip up and I yell at you for being dysfunctional)™

i’ll help you if you ask (unless its something that i consider easy in which case i’ll make you feel bad and think youre a dumbass for not knowing it even though its something i never taught you)

come to me if you ever want to talk about relationships/crushes (as long as they’re straight)

Please trust me more and open up (but when I get mad I’ll use everything you’ve told me against you in order to guilt and shame you for being alive)

Wow I can’t believe I have been wronged my entire life by almost ALL of these

Hey be careful with how you talk about people, it might hurt their feelings (but that doesn’t count for me, i can talk shit about you all i want)

You’re an adult, you should know how to do [thing I should’ve taught you how to do ten years ago but never did] by now.