Hoist the Colours

This man, who is an actual gem, is anti-bullying, the ambassador of an anti-bullying organisation, critiques whitewashing, critiques the media for not calling white shooters “terrorists”, volunteers for charities, and is genuinely a nice human being.

And all people can think of saying is “eww he’s ugly”? “he looks like that ugly kid from toy story” (which, by the way, he dressed up as Sid from Toy Story for Halloween one year, so he knows the joke and decided to dress up while also raising awareness for bullying with it), “he’s an ugly white boy”.

Will deserves so much better than that. The man isn’t even ugly, but even if he was there’s so much worse things to be.

I AM DECEASED 😭😭

Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.

So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.

So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).

“I am a simple mermaid trying to get a simple college education and you fUCKERS KEEP PREVENTING THAT BY THROWING WATER BALLOONS AT ME FIVE MINUTES BEFORE CLASS SO IM STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING QUAD FOR A HOUR UNTIL IT WEARS OFF”

“Alternatively, I was skipping class and saw you trying to drag you and your huge ass tail through the courtyard–do you need help? I guess I can carry you to class if you’d like, though I’m not so sure this was worth being called ‘Prince Eric’ for the next two weeks”

“I knew there was a reason why you were so good in marine biology and why you always had to one-up me in the exam scores yOU’RE A MERMAID THIS IS SO UNFAIR IM TURNING YOU IN FOR CHEATING CHEATER”

“I don’t know why i thought bringing you to a sushi bar was a good idea, i thought seeing all the live fish in the tanks would have been nice but i forgot about all the dead ones after”

“I’m the mermaid so of course im always picked to go on diving missions by you biased advantage taking pricks, and you know what? i don’t care what you say, its dark and scary and theres something down there that i have never forgotten why do you think i stay on land”

“apparently due to your mystical sea creature powers you have the ability to mimic any sound you hear, so you know what means friend?? VOICE IMPRESSIONS! MORGAN FREEMAN GO”

“I know its late and i dont know you but i hear you can talk to fish and im worried my goldfish is depressed”

Artist: https://royugang.artstation.com/