Indieblitz

my brother and i just made a sandwich we are calling "the g spot" and it was so good it made me genuinely emotional

THIS RECIPE SUCKS. I'm vegan and gluten intolerant so I substituted lettuce for the sourdough br**d, bean paste for the gruyere, tofu for the prosciutto, and grape jelly for the fig jam (because I don't like figs), and it tasted AWFUL. You should be ASHAMED.

im in love with you

tbh i think if you replaced the fig jam with something like hot honey that could work really well! opinion incoming but if you can try and find a hot honey that doesnt have any vinegar added because that can give it kind of a sour taste. also not to shill for a company i used to work for but my absolute favorite hot honey is the hot honey from the savannah bee company (infused with habanero and scotch bonnet peppers; sweet on the front end and spicy on the back. the spicy hits in the back of the throat rather than on the tongue)

#michael this sounds delicious might i suggest adding arugula#keep everything else the same but something sharp and green for texture and that spicy freshness (via @dishesoap) GOD arugula would kill on this sandwich. i hadnt bought any the last time i made this sandwich but youre so correct as always

normally it's frustrating when mystery games hand you answers on a silver plate but in ace attorney, the witnesses' tendencies to conveniently say far more than what they were asked for is so hilarious that it becomes its own reward. ace attorney witnesses will be asked what time they saw the murder and they'll say it was 10:40 and they know it was exactly that time because that's the exact minute they open the can of Fancy Feast to feed their elderly russian blue cat, father of 12 kittens and phoenix will be like umm actually i spoke to your cat and here's a written affidavit from him that there was a recall on Fancy Feast and also he's never been to russia nor known the touch of a woman. you're going to jail buddy

if you washed any clothes recently this is a friendly reminder to put them on the chair and then on the bed and then on the chair and then on the bed and then on the chair and then

I can't quite explain it, but Clue (1985), The Princess Bride (1987), Galaxy Quest (1999), and Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) are all the same genre

They aren't a spoof (roast) or a love letter (tribute), but a best man's speech; an expression of love with a gentle ribbing on ocassion.