memories of indaiburandai

I was afraid taking chances.. But I did.. 

I take risk and trying something new to someone I thought that will not LOVE me for real.. At first Im not sure that he really truly cares and loves me, I was Afraid to give him a chance, I was afraid that he's like other person that will used me,hurt me and just playing around the situation... I never expect and assume that something real score between the two of us.. I assume and think of negative thoughts about him just to avoid expectations and hurt feelings..

I never expect that someone like him I felt this way.. I give, take a risk and slowly falling in love with him..

I am grateful and blessed because after waiting to heal my broken heart, experiencing stressful life and depression, unexpectedly he came to my life.. He added meaning and colors to my life.. He thought and reminded me to be more positive, forget negative, relax and enjoy every moment with him...

I Thank GOD coz he give me another chance to know myself and give another chance to entertain others.. Thank you Lord coz you never fail to guide me to a new way for a Beautiful Life...

Life is beautiful taking chances to yourself and to others and leave a happily and lovely life...

Just relax and Take it easy...

After how many days and months of suffering from depression, I've realize that it is not good for yourself to think too much things which will not develop and help you to a new you. This Depression causes me lack of sleep,  gain weight and the most hated part is pimples in my Face. Waaaaaaaaaaaah.

You yourself should start a new beginning right away, to build a new you and explore things..

At first I was scared to Start and give myself a chance to explore new things, Open doors and met new people but when i tried ooooooh it was like a magic Suddenly Appear.... Boom.!  After few moments past by, its like healing wounds right away..

There's one Guy that who is always invited me to go with him, to Chill, relax and explore new things.. At first I'm Scared, then something whispering "go Indai, Try it"... At First I always think, Oh this Guy will just play me around or sounds like his not serious to me or he will just used me for his own happiness..

Time passes by going with him is like magical things happened.. He taught me and Help me to start a new me.. He always reminded me to Enjoy moments with him.. For every problem and challenges I shared with him, He taught and remind me to relax, don't think to much, don’t get panic and take it easy handling every situation..  Before, I thought He will just hurt me and a bad influence doing stupid things again and again  but I was wrong... He’s a good influence building a new me and encouraging me to move forward. 

I hold on the things that they called, FAMILY are the best friends and the one that you can rely/count on especially in times of UPs and DOWN... BUT Sad to Say, they are the reason I am Like this..  I am sensitive.. Im tooo emotional.. I over think things happened in my Life.. Even surrounded with Colleagues, friends and family.. 

I’m trying to fix my parents problems especially financially, emotionally, spiritually and even there relationship and love.. As much as I can help to them, i can give what they want even though nothing left for me.. 

I always asked to GOD that He will guide them both, that they will be OK, hoping they will change and will think about us..

28years of existence in this world, punong puno ako ng SAma ng loob.. Bakit kaya Ganun? Pano ko to mai aalis sa buhay ko..??? Gusto kong maging masaya nmn.. Sobrang hirap na hirap maging masaya pag Punong puno ka ng SAMA ng Loob sa kahit Kanino, kahit sa katrabaho mo, sa mga tinuturing mong kaibigan o kahit sa mga kapamilya mo.... Hahay Buhay Nga nmn. Nasa sayo kong pAno mo eHAndle ang mga Bagay2.. Kaya ako ito, sobrang hirap na hirap kahit magSMILE mn lng ng kunti, nakasimangot na lng lge, suplada at ignore people na feeling q walang kwenta sa buhay ko.....

OO sensitive ako, masyado akong pakialamera sa buhay ko at sa buhay ng mga nalalapit sakin. Pati problema nila e prinoproblema ko na din. I embrace things na feeling kong I can solve it pero Hindi ko naman pala kaya...  Msyado kong dinidibdib ang mga bagay bagay, I feel UPSET easily, Walk-out pag na ignore, disappointed, feeling alone and So many nega...

Bakit ba ganun???? Im trying to practice not to mind there own business, I have to focus on my own business considering na kailangan kong maging totally Ok na harapin lahat ng mga pagsubok na dumating sa buhay ko. I have to repair myself na punong-puno ng sama ng loob at nega nega nega... Sobrang nahirapan tuloy akong eHandle lahat.. Hahay.. Buhay.. Sobrang Mahirap..!

Na disappoint q na si lola :( Sabi pa nmn nya, sa lahat ng mga Trials sa mga buhay natin kailangan nating maging matatag at maging positive na harapin lahat ng mga pagsubok sa mga Buhay natin. Kailangan nating maging matibay, chill lang, relax lang, smile at wag mawalan ng pag-asa na anjan kasi anjan lge si lord para gabayan tayo lge.

Last night I talked to one of my closest friend, I was able to released all the negative energy and “Sama ng Loob”. I felt like im refresh and relax after we’ve talked.. Even though I slept late but I wake up with a sweet smile, I want to think all day positive and Thanks GOD that Life is so Beautiful. :)

For How many Days, Weeks and Months, I wake up without Saying "Thanks GOD I'm still alive and awake", that I can still Breath normal InHale & ExHale" and even act like everything is OK with me..  But its Hard for me to say goodmorning to others, even  giving a sweet smile or answered there Hi & Hello... I kept all the grudge in my mind and in my Heart. I felt like nobody Understands me. 

Ganun talaga ang buhay, minsan masaya at darating ang point na malungkot kasi iniwan ka, brokenhearted ka.

Base on my experience, marami kang pwedeng gawin aside sa pagmomokmok mo sa room, hindi nalabas kasama ang friends, nahiga, nag-eemote, ayaw kumain, hirap matulog, nag-iisip ng kong ano-ano, itapon ang mga gamit, sunogin ang mga pictures, edelete lahat ng files sa PC/Laptop/mobile/camera at marami pang iba.. Nako naman boys/girls wag ganun.. Huwag na wag mo sisiraian ang sarili mo dahil lang sa mga di magandang nangyari kasi na iniwan ka, sinaktan at niloko ka. 

Here are some ideas na Maaring pwede mong gawin kong Brokenhearted ka, base on my experience;

EXPLORE/ENJOY/RELAX

Kong manunood ka ng Movies, Wag na wag kang manuod ng LOVE STORY / SAD MOVIES like "One More Chance". Hindi naman sa sinasabi kong ayaw ko ang One More chance pero Hindi talaga sya nakakatulong para maging OK ka, Kasi it's one way na or give you an idea na aasa ka pa na maging OK ang relationship nyo ng BF/GF mo which is hindi na man pala lalo ka lng masasaktan.. 

Better you watch ACTION, COMEDY at lalong lalo na ang HORROR MOVIES -  it is one way na madadivert mo ang iniisip mo, imagination mo at emotion mo. Instead na nag-iisip ka lalo sa BF/GF mo na maging OK kayo at umaasa ka, it will leads you to relax yourself from any stress. Sa ACTION MOVIES - maiinis ka sa kontrabida bakit nya ginawa yon sa Bida, COMEDY MOVIES - natatawa ka sa mga kalokohan ng mga Bida at kontrabida at HORROR MOVIES - Natatakot ka na may biglang lumabas na multo, biglang may pumatay sa anak ng bida, may biglang sinaniban at ang hanggang sa pagtulog mo naiisip mo baka biglang tumabi sayo ang mga multo na nasa movies.. hahahaha.. OH Dba di mo maiisip ang mga SAD Moments mo sa Ex BF/GF mo.. Na divert mga iniisip mo.

Give yourself a time to relax, spend time with your family and friends. Gumala ka sa mga lugar na gusto mong puntahan. Try mong sumakay sa mga rides na mga kinakakatukatan mo like sa pinakamabilis na roller coaster sa buong mundo (Formula Rosa & GForce sa Ferrari World), Bungee Jumping & Sky Diving,  magsisigaw ka ng magsigaw para ma Erelease mo ang mga negative energy sa katawan mo. hahahah. TRy mo.. Gandang ng feeling makasigaw ng sigaw.. Lahat ng gusto mong sabihin elabas mo..

Go to Parlor/Salon - pa facial ka, footspa at higit sa Lahat new haircut/hair color para new look.. Kailangan mong maging maganda sa mata ng mga tao na nakapaligid sayo.

HELP 

Huwag Huwag mong etapon yong mga bagay na binibigay ng GF/BF mo like Stuff Toys, Damit, relo at kong ano ano pang mga gamit, better epamigay mo sa mga nangangailangan like sa orphanage o street children kasi napapakinabangan nila yun at makikita mo pa sa kanila na tuwang tuwa sila na makakatanggap ng mga bagay na kailan man hindi nila mabibili. Nakakataba ng PUSO na Nakakatulong ka at nakapagbigay ka ng magandang ngiti sa mga bata. 

Tumutulong ka sa mga gawaing bahay, Try Mong magpractice matutong magluto, magbake at kong marami pang pwedeng gawin sa bahay.

Mag Volunteer ka sa isang Organization na tumulong sa ibang tao like feeding program at kong ano-ano pa...

EVALUATE

Humarap ka sa salamin O kaya pumunta ka sa Starbucks magkape O sa tabing dagat, Give yourself a time to evaluate for all the things you've done in your life. Sa mga good/bad things na nagawa mo para sa sarili mo O para sa mga taong nakapaligid sayo. Kong maganda ba ang resulta O Hindi, Kong nakakatulong O Hindi... Kailangan bang may baguhin O wala para na din sa ekabubuti at ekaganda ng Buhay mo at maging handa ka sa mga darating na araw..

PRAY

Don't forget to go to church especially with your family & friends, have some confession for all the bad things you've done in your entire life.

Before you sleep, Pray the ROSARY

Keep your FAITH to GOD always

Stay Positive

Sabi nila, pag iniwan ka / brokenhearted ka - nawawalan ka ng ganang kumain, hindi ka makatulong at malungkot ka. Pagsure oi. Tigilan mo yang kaka emote, kasi hindi yan maganda.. Isipin mo, di mo dapat pababayaan sarili mo kasi ang dami daming darating na magagandang bukas, ang dami daming magagandang moments/happy moments na darating sa buhay mo - Hindi man ngayon, pero sa mga darating pang araw.

Sa mga nangyayari gawin mo itong isang halimbawa, na isang rason para ikaw magiging isang mabuting tao para sa sarili mo at para sa kapwa mo. Ito ang nagsisilbing halimbawa para maging matibay / matapang ka na harapin lahat ng mga pagsubok na dumating sa buhay mo.