Billy: So we have good news and we have bad news.
Tommy: My mother always said, "Bad news first, because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.
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Billy: So we have good news and we have bad news.
Tommy: My mother always said, "Bad news first, because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.

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Billy: Aw, babe, you had a crush on me? That's embarrassing.
Teddy: We're married.
Billy: Still.
Loki: You people have issues.
Teddy: Well of course I have issues! (points at Mother) That's my freaking mother!
Billy, after invading Latveria to rescue Wanda: Did I make some mistakes? Yes. Did I ONLY make mistakes? Yes. But did it all work out? Kind of!
Loki: Can I have these question mark stickers?
Teddy: Why?
Loki: I want to put them on stop signs.
Teddy: Loki, no!

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Cassie: Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated. I mean, yes, I died, but people love to embellish.
Kate: What do you need a fake ID for?
Eli: So I can vote.
How dare you tell me how to parent my kids I just met.
Wanda Maximoff, Avengers: The Children’s Crusade
Noh-Varr: (pointing at a map) So I am confused. Why is this one "Kansas", but this one is not "Ar-Kansas". America, explain. Explain!
Billy: What are we going to do? Let's ask someone for help.
Loki: Don't be ridiculous, Billy. We need to confront the terrible horror ourselves and potentially end up hospitalised or dead, like always.

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Mary Shepherd: Help me with this crossword. I need a six-letter word for disappointment.
Frank: Thomas.
Mary: It fits.
Billy: But can I say one more thing? You could have walked away back there.
Tommy: So?
Billy: So no matter how shallow and self-absorbed you pretend to be—
Tommy: Excuse me, there’s no pretence here. I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.
Kate: I think you should just admit that you’re a big softy. That this whole cynical thing is just an act so that you can seem suave, and mysterious, and sexy…
Tommy: Woah, woah, woah. What was the last one?
Kate: What?
Tommy: Did you say sexy?
Kate: W-What?
Tommy: Do you think I’m sexy?
Kate: No.
Tommy: It’s okay if you do.
Kate: I don’t.
America: Hey, this is not the time to blame Loki.
Loki: Thank you. Finally.
America: There will be plenty of time to blame Loki later, when this is resolved.
Eli: This is a bad idea.
Kate: You said that already.
Eli: Well, it's worth saying again.

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Billy: For whatever it's worth...I'm glad you're here.
Tommy: What?
Billy: I mean, circumstances could be better, I'm just saying, you know, I'm glad we found each other.
Tommy: I'm not hugging you.
Nate: Okay, I'll admit that some mistakes were made.
Cassie: Murders. Some murders were made.