baker: ... what?

richie: *laughs*

eddie: what?

richie: *picks up a card*

ben: what does it say?

richie: tell eddie you don’t like him or draw 25

eddie: rich, it’s okay it’s just a game you do-

eddie: richie got drunk and ripped up our marriage certificate, saying “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”

doctor: what's going on

richie: he’s having an asthma attack!

doctor: well, i'm a doctor in philosophy

richie: please he's going to die

richie: called it.

richie: i have a job

stan: calling eddie cute every five seconds is not a job, richie

richie: you’re right

eddie: i married you, of course i like you

eddie: s[he] be[lie]ve[d] 😔

eddie: bye richie

richie: *stops walking* wait what? you’re not gonna insult me back?

stan: and?

eddie: now we’re dating

richie: what does claustrophobic mean?

bev: it means he’s afraid of santa claus

eddie: no it doesn’t.

richie: HO HO HO