Bence: You love me?
Louis: Yes.
Bence: Uh, since when?
Louis: Uh, I don't-it isn't something I made a note of on my calendar.

Today's Document
DEAR READER
Mike Driver
trying on a metaphor
Sweet Seals For You, Always
todays bird
Not today Justin

if i look back, i am lost

tannertan36
d e v o n
$LAYYYTER
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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untitled
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taylor price

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Cosmic Funnies


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@incorrectposterchildrenquotes
Bence: You love me?
Louis: Yes.
Bence: Uh, since when?
Louis: Uh, I don't-it isn't something I made a note of on my calendar.

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Bence: Do you advocate the overthrow of the government by force or violence?
Louis: *thinks it over* Violence.
While you were busy being heterosexual, I studied the blade
Amira bint Balquis
Louis: Yeah honestly I really like guys--
Bence: *GASP* !!!!!
Louis: --sers. Geysers. One of Earth's natural beauties.
Bence: *sigh*
Louis: I also really like dudes.
Bence: *spills water all over himself*
Amira: You need them to think you’re stronger than you actually are.
Joe: That’s what you do?
Amira: Me? Oh, no. My power is no illusion. I can fucking demolish you.

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Bence, if you break his heart, I’m going to break your neck.
Louise Song
Louise: *throws open the door*
Louise: So you two ARE having sex!
Louis and Bence: *sitting on the bed, reading books*
Louis: We are? Ben, why didn't you tell me? I would've put down my book.
Joe: Professor, I’m not trying to be rude, but you died.
Vincent: Yeah, I know, I was there.
I’m a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food
Marshal Underwood
You guys are the worst. I’m glad you’re my friends.
June Hovick

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Maks [pointing at the others]: Intervention? Intervention? Intervention?
Mal: Count me out.
Cindy: We can’t count you out, Zip listens to you.
Mal: Well, she also listens to the Barenaked Ladies, go get their dumb asses to help you.
*everyone gasps in horror*
Maks: Okay Mal, you are clearly in a bad space today, but Zip is our friend, and the Barenaked Ladies are triple platinum, are you?
Mal: Why does everyone leap to defend that band so aggressively? And how much stuff do we have to go through this year before my friendship stops being questioned?
Roz: Well, maybe friendship is about going through a lot of stuff, Mal, and maybe BNL has two Billboard Awards to your zero!
Mal: Oh, okay, they’re BNL now. We need a shorthand for the Barenaked Ladies. That’s how fundamental they are.
Jack: Fundamental.
Mal: You know what Zipporah probably needs more than anything? Some space. Maybe I do too.
June: You know what? Maybe we all need some space to pull the knife out of the back of the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the mid-90s, you selfish, jaded ass!
June: Are you a master of anything besides prattling on and on?
Maks: No.
June: ... Well, at least you're honest.
John: You have to understand, he had a very terrible childhood.
Mal: I'm having a terrible childhood right now.
Maks: I knew it. You're attracted to me.
June: I beg your unbelievable pardon?
Shit, you guys are kids! I better watch my damn mouth around you little bastards! Sorry, sorry–I mean ‘SHOOT, I better watch my damn mouth around you little bastards.’
Corbin Underwood

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Sully: You’re not as charming as you think you are.
Clay: I’m precisely as charming as I believe I am, to the decimal place.
Maks: It’s true, Ernie. You may be single and childless, but you’re totally a dorky dad.
Ernest: I don’t think I like your tone, young man.