Louis: Haz and I got into it last night. Bad enough that I told him to take what's his and leave.

Louis: I always wonder how tall people like you manage to sleep at night when the blanket can't cover you from your head and shoulders.

Harry: Well, fuck me if I’m wrong—

Harry: We can’t go on a romantic date, we’re in the middle of a huge fight!

Louis: Harry, can I ask you something?

Louis: You can’t make everyone like you. You’re not Harry.

Louis: (whispering loudly) Harry, I think there's a monster under the bed, it's really ugly, can you take care of it?

Harry: Fist me

Niall: Get kidnapped. You’ll find out who your real friends are. Trust me.

Harry: *banging his fists on the table*

Random stranger, to Louis: Hey there, you look a bit cold. I’m cold also, so why don’t we snuggle together to get warmer ;)

Kidnapper: We have your son

Harry: You know me, I’m always horny for bread.

The Wanted: Welcome to the ‘Fuck Louis Tomlinson’ support group where everyone who’s been roasted by Louis gathers to say a collective ‘Fuck you!’ to Louis Tomlinson.

Louis: Fuck capitalism, it's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Harry, being kidnapped: Will I need my toothbrush?

Louis: I have an amazing memory! Name one time I forgot something