Charlie: *dials 911*
Charlie: Hey i hate to be “that guy” but I glued myself to the ceiling again
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@incorrecthollywoodundeadquotes1
Charlie: *dials 911*
Charlie: Hey i hate to be “that guy” but I glued myself to the ceiling again

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Danny: Things have actually been going really well with Charlie. Our friendship is in a really good place.
Charlie: Last week I said, “Did you know the weiner dog is neither a weiner nor a dog?” Instead of saying, “Shut up, Charlie,” they said, “Okay.”
I’m sick of of following my dreams. I’m just gonna ask where they’re going and hook up with them later
-Jordon
Jordon: JOREL! I LOST MY GUITAR!!!
Jorel: And? I lost my sanity
Jordon: ...I need help finding it
Jorel: Why?
Jordon: Because I need it!
Jorel: Well no one helped me look for my sanity but I’m still okay
Jordon: ....I’ll just ask Danny for help
Jordon: FOUR MONTHS!
Dylan: What?
Jordon: YOU STOOD BY AND WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT FOR FOUR MONTHS

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Danny: W-Where am I?
Jordon: *sarcastically* Heaven
Danny: huh....didn’t expect you to be here
Jordon: BITC-
George: Do you understand the plan, now that I’ve explained it for 15 minutes?
Danny: Yes!
George: Are you lying to me?
Danny: Yes.
Jorel: What’s going on?
Dylan: Jordon may have died
Jorel: Jordon MAY have died!?
Danny: We’re looking into it
It’s a competition of fucks up and I’M HERE TO WIN!
Jorel
Jorel: I regret giving you that blender
Danny: *Drinking a pizza* why?

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Jordon: You know it’s bad when you wake up in a pentagram
Jorel: I’m going to make instant noodles
Jordon: Make sure to drink it hot so it can warm up your cold, dead heart
Jorel, mumbles: Don’t fucking tell me what to do
Jordon: If I quit drinking, I’d lose the best excuse I’ve ever had in my life, which is, ‘I’m really sorry about last night, I was just so drunk.’ That is a get-out-of-jail-free card you don’t even realize that you have until you lose it. I would have to be like, ‘I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It will probably happen again.’
George: I will personally introduce you to the ground, and trust me your relationship will be intimate
Jorel: Come on now, I wasn’t that drunk!
Danny: You tried to color my face with a highlighter because you said I was important
Jorel: But you are!

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Jorel: Alright Danny, you word is-
Danny: Danny, D-A-N-N-I-E, Danny
Jorel: No that’s not your word, that’s your name
Jorel: And you misspelled it
Danny: Can I have candy?
Dylan: What did J say?
Danny: No.
Dylan: Then why would I let you?
Danny: Hes not the boss of you
Dylan, internally: It’s a trap