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@incorrecthappyhavoc
Monokuma [about Mondo’s execution]: No, it’s funny!
Taka: How?
Monokuma: Uh, well– oh geez, I’m breaking character. Wait, wait, wait– I wrote some jokes! “Why did Taka throw Mondo out the window?”
Hiro [looks at Taka, confused]: You did what?
Monokuma: To see a butter-fly!
Taka [distressed]: I never did that! Headmaster, are you telling lies?!
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Hina: Makoto, I don't think you get it, yet. You're the Ultimate Hope. Everyone wants you. You're like the hot girl that every guy wants.
Makoto [confused]: The hot girl?
Hina: You are the hottest girl! [Hina leaves just as Hiro joins them]
Hiro [confused]: ...What?
Makoto: I'm the hot girl?
Hiro: ...Yes, you are.
I will do a lot of things, but admitting I’m cold to Taka after he told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them.
Mondo Owada
Let me explain to you what a bitch is: Being In Total Control of Herself
Celeste Ludenberg
Mondo: Taka, tell Togami where he can stick his grapes.
Taka: In the fridge!
Mondo: No, Taka.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Makoto: Um, no, no. You’re supposed to say, “Wow. That’s just crazy enough to work.”
Kyoko: Incredibly, chance does seem to bend itself to his bizarre machinations.
Hina: That’s his superpower.
Hina: I know you want to keep me safe, but the only way to do that is to wrap me in bubble wrap and hide me in a cave.
Sakura: Believe me, I've thought about it.
Celeste: Well, you know what they say.
Celeste: The french word for bread is pain.
Byakuya: Bad mood? I'm sorry, have I not been bursting into song enough for you lately? Would you like me to click my heels together or skip like a child?
Hina: Yes, to all of that.
Mukuro: At my age, do you know how I’m statistically most likely to die?
Junko: At the hands of your twin sister?
Mukuro: In an accident!
Junko: That’s how I’m gonna make it look.
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Hiro: You’re not programmed to feel joy.
Celeste: Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.
Hiro: You know, when you play along with the robot jokes it kind of ruins my enjoyment of them.
Celeste: Yes, I know.
Kyoko: I can’t believe you left Makoto alone!
Hiro: He’ll be fine. He’s the Ultimate Hope.
Kyoko: That’s just what he’s called, doesn’t mean he actually knows what he’s doing!
Junko: Today is the day we reveal to the whole world the existence of the "League of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtiness!"
Mukuro: You want us to be called L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.?
Makoto [getting ready to leave]: I gotta go.
Kyoko: Aren’t you forgetting something?
Makoto: Uh... [looks confused, then kisses Kyoko’s forehead and starts to leave]
Kyoko: No! Pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?
Hiro: Have you ever been in Celeste’s room before?
Hifumi: Once.
Hiro: And?
Hifumi: She pushed me out the window and told Monokuma I fell.
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Sakura: Did you eat all the powdered donuts?
Hina [mouth full of food]: No...
Sakura: Then what's that on your pants?
Hina: That's cocaine.
Ah, Makoto Naegi, what an unexpected surprise. And by unexpected I mean COMPLETELY EXPECTED.
Monokuma