Incorrect Great Library Quotes

Dario: Prakesh can’t fire me directly. she’s sort of like, you know how there’s the greek gods and then there’s the demigods? that’s what she is.

Khalila: what does that make you?

Dario: a satyr. goat legs, music, dancing around with my shirt off, you know.

Jess: …I don’t like this analogy anymore.

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Morgan: so what actually counts as church clothes?

Wolfe: I don’t think we’re the best people to ask.

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Khalila, watching Dario practice spotlight cues: good, good, that’s fine- oh, that one was kind of bad.

Dario, after putting the light on the complete opposite side of the stage: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

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Zara: this cue looks like shit.

Wolfe: you programmed it.

Zara: fuck you.

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Thomas: don’t bleed on the set! no blood allowed! we don’t have any more paint.

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Morgan: this is a perfect representation of my state of mind.

Glain: …the wall of balls?

Morgan: no, I forgot my hot glue gun- STOP LAUGHING

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Santi: no, it’s fine. I can fix the light.

Wolfe: did you just cross yourself?

Santi, already climbing up the scaffolding: don’t worry about it.

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Santi: How would you like your coffee? Wolfe: As dark and as bitter as my soul. Santi, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!

Santi: Chris, when someone cries, you need to react. Wolfe: I did. I rolled my eyes.

Santi: We need to distract these guys Wolfe: Leave it to me Wolfe: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Jess, Thomas, and Khalila: *Immediately begin arguing* Glain, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

Wolfe: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. Santi: What if it bites me and it dies!? Wolfe: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Nic, learn to listen. Morgan: What if it bites itself and I die? Wolfe: That’s voodoo. Thomas: What if it bites me and someone else dies? Wolfe: That’s correlation, not causation. Jess: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? Khalila: That’s kinky. Wolfe: Oh my God.

anyway I'm probably not very funny but I like to think I am <3

these are extremely hilarious, thank you!! Also thank you for reading so much on ao3, I've been loving all your comments <3

Santi: No. No, it isn’t.

Jess: You don’t just get to say no.

Santi: This plan involves me! I get to say no. No.

Jess: Capt-

Santi: Let me introduce you to my good friend No.

Jess: Maybe we can compromise.

Santi: No.

Jess: SANTI.

Wolfe, watching from the doorway: Nic, we're doing Jess' plan.

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