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Havoc: Did u grow up without a positive male influence

Mustang: didnt everyone

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Mustang: Are you slut-shaming me?

Hawkeye: I’m just plain shaming you.

Mustang: You're on the wrong side of history, Lieutenant, trust me.

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Mustang: Why are we lying in the parking lot?

Hughes: Your hook shot knocked you unconscious so I laid down next to you so everyone would think we were chilling.

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Roy Mustang: my toxic trait? well. i LOVE too hard. my PUSSY is too wet. also i commit IDENTITY THEFT.

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Ed: I don't know what to do with it.

Winry: With what?

Ed: With all the love I have for my mum. I don't know where to put it now.

Winry: I'll take it. I'm serious. It sounds lovely. I'll have it.

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Mustang: not to be the thottie with the super hot body but—

Hawkeye: oh my god, please shut up

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Roy Mustang: I may play the fool at times, but I'm a little more than just a pretty face with an ass that won't quit.

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Roy Mustang: I can't help being a gorgeous fiend. It's just the card I drew.

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Hawkeye, walking into the office: What’s wrong with you guys? You all usually can’t keep your mouths closed.

Fuery: *passes Hawkeye a note that reads “five way jinx”*

Hawkeye: Five way jinx? Really?

Breda: *passes Hawkeye a note that reads “yes, really!”*

Hawkeye: Alright, fine. Breda, Fuery, Havoc, Falman, Colonel Mustang.

Everyone, shouting at once: Unjinxed!

Mustang: *gasps for air*

Falman: You don’t have to hold your breath when you’re jinxed, sir.

Mustang: I play prison rules.

Havoc: They play jinx in prison?

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Alphonse: Wait... Shaggy says "zoinks," Velma says "jinkies," Daphne says "jeepers," Scooby says "rikes." What does Fred say?

Edward: Fred said “fuck”.

Alphonse: HE DID NOT.

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Mustang: Offer me money.

Envy: Yes!

Mustang: Power, too, promise me that.

Envy: All that I have and more. Please...

Mustang: Offer me everything I ask for.

Envy: Anything you want!

Mustang: I want my best friend back, you son of a bitch!

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Roy Mustang: Olivier said I was being completely solipsistic. I looked it up. It means that you think you’re the center of the universe and that you don’t care about other people. Which is completely insane, because I hate being alone.

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Hawkeye, to Mustang: I can’t be your wife, Roy. But and I are gonna be partners till they put us in the fucking ground.

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Ed: Can you take me to the mall to get a dress?

Mustang: Okay. First of all, I’m so glad you felt comfortable enough to come to me with that, and you know what? If this is something you want to explore—

Ed: Oh, it’s not for me, it’s for Winry, but you handled that very well.

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Mustang: I have feelings for you.

Hawkeye: I have feelings for you too.

Narrator: The feeling was "friendship," but neither had ever experienced it.

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Roy: You suck.

Edward: You suck!

Roy: I know!

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Mustang: I don't like being told what to do unless I'm naked.

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