NCIS, a family @incorrectfamilyncis - Tumblr Blog

[Gibbs going off to do something and leaving Tony in charge for the day] DiNozzo: It’s one 12-hour shift. What are you afraid is gonna happen? Gibbs: Injury, death, general calamity. Just don’t burn the place down.

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Tim: How's having your own actual kids?

Ziva: Horrible. I never knew something could cry so much. It never stops.

Abby: Oh, well, the kid will grow out of it eventually, right?

Ziva: Oh no, the kid's great. She hardly ever cries.

Tim: But I thought-

Tony, sobbing while holding Tali: Ziva, I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

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ziva: you can’t spell stupid without "u" tony: tony: WELL THERES AN "I" IN STUPID TOO! ziva: tony: ziva:

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McGee, waking up from a nightmare: Spiders… the spiders… they want me to tap dance.

McGee, still half asleep: I don’t want to tap dance…

Delilah: You tell those spiders, Tim.

McGee, dozing off again: Tell them… I’ll tell them…

McGee: [snores]

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DiNozzo: Your existence is confusing. McGee: How so? DiNozzo: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.

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zivaisms

ncis cast pictures that aren’t talked abt enough pt 5

Nick: And Bishop, you could be my wife.

Ellie: Why would you take your wife with you to meet a drug dealer?

Nick: 'Cause we're partners in everything we do.

Jimmy: Aw.

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Agent: How did none of you hear what I just said? Ziva: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. DiNozzo: I got distracted about halfway through. McGee: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

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Tony: my old boss was a sniper. *smiling*

kidnapper:

Ziva:

Tony:

Kidnapper: *stare*

Tony: *smiles*

Kidnapper: *continues staring*

Kidnapper: *Gets shot at the head*

Tony, cheerfully: I told you, Ziva, he ain't dead!

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Tony: i think it's time for you to bury the hatchet

Ziva: waste of a good hatchet

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Kasie: what was your worst injury ever?

Nick: once I got tortured by some crooks in New York, had to go to PT for about six months after

Tim: I got shot right in my ass once. It hurt more on a mental level

Ziva: that one time I had to jump out of a moving car or shot looking for Tony

Tony: remember how a serial killer tied me up in the swerers?

Everybody: yeah

Ellie: I’m lucky. I only was shot through and through between the ribs once

Tim: you’re just like your brother.

Ellie: My brother didn’t... oh, you mean Tony

TIm: yeah

Abby: Once I sneezed while sitting at the table

Abby: as I sneezed, I hit my forehead on the edge of it so hard I cracked my skull.

Everybody:

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Tony: Ever since Ziva has learned about stan language, she won't stop

Ziva: Oof the call out! the tea is scorching!

Tim: its worse than her getting saying wrong.

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Tim: what's upsetting you? Tony: Ziva is always using common phrases wrong. Ziva: cry me a table, Tony.

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It's called eating your feelings, assbag!

Tony, to Ziva, when a TV show doesn't end how he wants.

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"I'm a black hole of snacks. I'm a 'snackhole'."

- Tony Dinozzo

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Ziva: don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeves. Anyone outside the team working with them: I think you mean cards. Everyone on the team: no, she does not.

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Tony: name one mean thing I have ever said or done. Tim: you convinced me eggs weren't real!

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