strong as an oak

person, to linc: excuse me, but is this man bothering you? linc, refusing to look at taylor who is trying to show him how many marshmallows he can put in his mouth: no, he's my best friend. i signed up for this.

henry: weren't you two playing monopoly with grant? sparrow, chewing a cookie: we were, grant won. henry: well that was fast how did he do that? lark, also chewing a cookie: well he was losing badly, but he bribed us with cookies. henry: that's unfair! that's not how you're suppose to win! sparrow, munching on cookies: you think he's the winner? please, lark and i just used fake money to buy 200 real cookies. lark, also munching on cookies: we're the real winners here.

hermie: if 'all the world's a stage' then how come i'm the only one who goes around constantly breaking into extravagant musical numbers with complex dance routines?

ron: why would we want you as our assistant? doug: i will work for you. i'll be on you 24/7. i'll be like your family. i'm here when you get here in the morning, and sure enough, i'll be there tucking you into bed at night. don't worry, it's not gay. do we have questions?

scary: it's dark in here. we need some light. taylor: i got this. just let me - scary: if you're going to stomp your light-up sneakers, i will murder you. taylor: *lightly lowers his foot*

terry jr: who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to henry and darryl's conversation? nick: me, i'm in the laundry basket. sparrow: i'm in the washing machine. grant: i'm in the closet. terry jr: we accept you, grant.

linc: you're so dramatic. hermie, holding a crystal wine glass, throwing rose petals, dressed all in purple velvet, draped across a piano: i have no idea what you're talking about.

hero, trying to come out: do you ever feel like kissing girls? normal: no. hero: what? normal: what?

glenn: guys, can i ask you something? darryl: sure. henry: go ahead. glenn: what the fuck are we doing?

grant: my furby died in my arms when i was a child. terry jr: i am so sorry for your loss. grant: it wasn’t a loss. i had never felt more like a god.

taylor, opening a fortune cookie: "all your wishes will soon come true". sweet!! normal, opening a fortune cookie: "your life will be filled with disappointment". normal: ...of course.

nick, watching the news: some idiot tried to fight a goose at the park today. glenn, covered in bites and feathers: maybe the goose was being a dick.

darryl: i really want to tell this joke but i can only remember the punchline. henry: what is it? darryl: tooth hurty. henry: when is the best time to go the dentist? darryl: you complete me.

henry: do you want to know my favorite quote? glenn: sure. henry: you can love somebody, and when you love somebody you never forget them. ron: my dad forgot me in a parking lot twice.

normal: *searching under the couch* normal: i've lost my marbles. scary: everyone suspected as much. normal: well, i hope somebody finds them. *later that night* normal, jolting awake: HEY!

lark: does it count as arson if you had a really good explanation? lark: i don't have one, i'm just curious.

darryl: how high are you right now? glenn, slowly: how what? darryl: high? glenn: hello.