Calum, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.
Ashton: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.
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@incorrect5sos-quotes
Calum, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.
Ashton: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

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Luke: I no longer wish to adult. From now on I shall remain a cozy burrito. If you need me I'll be in my fluff tortilla.
Michael: Could you be anymore annoying?
Calum: Yes.
Luke, drunk: It's drunk and I'm late. We better sneak in quietly.
Luke, falling: Oh, floor, you're always there for me. So supportive.
Luke: Not like walls and staircases, always getting in my way.
Ashton, on the top of the stairs: *watching Luke cuddle with a rug*
Luke : I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.

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Michael: You're standing on thin ice.
Luke: I'm standing on the floor.
Michael: It's an expression.
Luke: It's carpet.
Ashton: I'm friendly, I'm loyal, I'm energetic, I... I just described a dog, didn't I?
Calum: Yes, but people love dogs.
[texting]
Luke: Good morning, Ash. Let's get this bread!
Ashton: Please send me a picture of the bread you want. I will see if the store carries it.
Luke: Come on Mike, do it for our friendship. You can't put a price on that...
Michael: Actually, yes I can. Fifty dollars.
Ashton: People who sleep with their phone on silent or DND really don't give a fuck about anybody.
Luke: Look, if you decide to have a problem after midnight, that's between you and God.
Michael:
Michael: How do you set your phone to Dungeons and Dragons?

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Not an incorrect quote but I really hope ashton is okay and that he gets loads of rest and what he needs to get well again. His health should be the priority
Luke: I don’t feel like I’m 6'4". It just kinda feels like everyone else is small.
Ashton: Just say you’re 6'4" and go.
Ashton: It’s funny how well you and Michael get along. Didn’t he hate you at first?
Luke: Michael hates everybody at first. It’s his way of reaching out to people.
Calum: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.
Luke: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.
Calum: Not when you’re playing with Ashton it’s not. He puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”
Luke: I wish you could block people in real life.
Ashton: Restraining order.
Michael: Murder.

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Calum: Why are you always trying to aggravate me?
Michael: To relax.
Michael, watching someone walk into a wall: What an idiot.
Ashton, noticing that it was Luke who walked into a wall: Wait, that's Our Idiot.