Doyle: My motto is, "If you doo-doo on yourself..."
Doyle:
Doyle: And I live by that.

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@incorrect-tss-quotes
Doyle: My motto is, "If you doo-doo on yourself..."
Doyle:
Doyle: And I live by that.

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Doc: Who's cooking the food for Thanksgiving?
Doyle: I am!
Doc: No seriously, who's cooking?
Doyle: I'm serious, I'm making it right now.
Doc: HELL NO, STOP!
Doyle: NO, YOU'RE GONNA EAT THIS!
Van Rook: What is wrong with you, Doyle?
Van Rook: Every time I come into this house, there's no food in the refrigerator
Van Rook: Have you heard of grocery shopping?
Doyle: STOP COMING INTO MY GODDAMN HOUSE
Beeman: How does it feel to be the worst scientist ever, huh?
Miranda: Shut up, your mother buys you megablocks instead of legos
Beeman: you take that back
Doc: Doyle, this is a crime scene!
Doyle: [piling hagen daas containers into his arms]
Doyle: What is this, the murder weapon? Get off my dICK!

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Doc: Zak, what do you want to eat?
Kur: THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT
Zak: A bagel.
Kur: NOOOOOOOO
Zak: ...two bagels
Zak: [filming on Francis' phone] This is how I enter our dorm.
Zak: [kicks the door in] WHAT'S UP, FUCKERS
Francis: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY PHONE
Zak: FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY
Doyle: A lot of people think the Loch Ness Monster doesn't exist, don't they? Now, I don't know anything about zoology, biology, geology
Doyle: geography, marine biology, crypto-zoology
Doyle: evolutionary theory, evolutionary biology
Doyle: meteorology
Doyle: limnology
Doyle: history
Doyle: herpatology
Doyle: paleontology
Doyle: or archeology
Doyle: but I think
Doyle:
Doyle:
Doyle: what if a dinosaur had got in the lake?
Drew: [hugging Zak and Doyle] Are you guys okay? Tell me you're okay.
Doyle & Zak: No, weβre fine.
Drew: Oh good.
Drew: [yanks their ears] THEN WHAT WERE YOU TWO KNUCKLEHEADS THINKING??!!
Wadi: Let me get this straight, more like let me run this bi you
Ulraj: Let's pan this all out
Francis: Let's ace-ess the situation
Zak: I'm gay

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Doyle: I am not drunk!
Doc: Can you tell the time?
Doyle: Yes.
Doyle: [turns and points to a wall clock] I AM NOT DRUNK!
Drew: You need them to think you're stronger than you actually are.
Miranda: Is that what you do?
Drew: Me? Oh, no. My power is no illusion. I can fucking demolish you.
Drew: If you stop eating refined sugars for a while, it changes your whole palate. You'll start to notice the natural sweetness of baby carrots or whole wheat bread!
Doyle: [pouring chocolate-covered potato chips into his mouth] That's really fuckin' neato.
Francis: I just got a new notebook, what should I put in it?
Zak: Put spaghetti in it.
Francis: I am taking suggestions from anyone else.
Wadi: Put spaghetti in it.
Francis: I am taking suggestions from anyone except you two.
Ulraj: Put spaghetti in it.
Francis: I am no longer taking suggestions.
Miranda: I wish I had the ability to make men really nervous.
Drew: Holding a sword to their throat usually does the trick for me.
Doc: As a man, I can confirm that this makes me really nervous.

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Francis: You keep hugging Zak when heβs upset.
Francis: Next thing you know, heβs going to fall in love with you. Is that what you want?
Wadi: *scoffing* Is that what I want.
Ulraj, loudly over a speaker: Yes.
[A loud thud noise]
Miranda: Arthur, did you just fall?
Beeman: No, I attacked the floor
Miranda: Backwards?
Beeman: Iβm fucking talented