your a boring bich and i am seven

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my pockets jingle with stolen buttons from hot topic

i literally cant stop stealing those buttons from the Button Vats like i dont feel like paying 3 dollars for a piece of tin with pusheen on it but i do feel like doing a heist

call the cops bitch ill have sex with them

This feels like a the kind of thing you overhear when the person next to you on the bus is having a heated phone call

today i hung out w my 15 y/o brothers girlfriend and i jokingly was like “tell me embarrassing stuff about him” and she was like “ok. he has a piss kink” and was 100% serious and i almost crashed the fucking car

Why do all the little holes go away and get replaced by one big hole for an average of 12 of every 24 hours?

Enrichment

wаnnа fuск hеr? DO IT!

please do not have sex with my home decor 

men will see a common fly and think I am going to ensnare this in silk

men be like can I please starve to death in a corner of your livingroom