It struck something deep in him to hear Malcolm's words and thoughts on the matter. It was so... Personal. He'd be missed. It had been a long time since someone had meant something so personal. Just for him.
His eyes dropped to their hands and the gentle touch there, revelling in it. He exhaled another slow breath, calming the way his heart seemed to be doing something in his chest.
"Well. I've never had a death wish, not really, not like people seem to think, but I've found more recently that having something to come back to makes a difference."
"Having something or someone tae live for does make a difference," murmured Malcolm, eyes rising take in James' expression. The moment was a precious one, and he vowed to enjoy all of this while he could, despite the fact that all he wanted to do was dash off.
"It's a nice thought, anyway. It helped me a fuckton while I was in prison." He huffed a soft, stupid laugh. "I missed ye that entire time."
He never said as much but he knew James had kept his place safe (and paid for) while he was away in prison. He was thankful for it. His sister couldn't have helped him all on her own. It was too much for her to do.
"And I wouldnae say that ye have a death wish, per se," he laughed. "Yer just a danger magnet is all."
"Yes." He agreed simply, his eyes sliding from Malcolm for a moment as he considered that. It was so painfully real though, perhaps even Malcolm didn't realise just how true the words were. Something personal. Something real and alive. Some agents left the job behind for this, some never got the chance to have it. It was the harsh reality of their lives and their jobs. But something, someone to come back to? That was worth fighting for.
"And I suppose you do know what it's like from when you were away. Letters only go so far, right?"
He huffed a laugh, "Danger magnet. I can't say that you're wrong. Things do tend to be awful around me. Lots of bullets and explosions usually."


















