Human Trash Heap

Out of Touch Thursday

OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY

but im out of my head when you’re not around…

queue this post when it’s your birthday and be surprise

"girl dinner" "boy kibble" can y'all just eat a meal gender neutrally

gender neutrients

Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

question. why do you have 7 featureless grey monoliths in your driveway

There's eight actually but the last one is still in the garage

question. why do you have eight featureless grey monoliths

They're actually a really dark purple

question. why do you have seven featureless really dark purple monoliths in your driveway and an eighth in the garage

Some of them do have features though. There's holes and hinges and stuff, so I can put secrets in em

question. why do you have 8 really dark purple occasionally featureful monoliths

The heart wants what the heart wants

this reads like a muppet sketch

You're not wrong

World Heritage Post

half of tumblr wants to fuck, the other half wants to die

i wanna fuck and then die

cicadas the lot of you

World Heritage Post

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at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

using violence to liberate people from sweatshops, unsafe mines, and grinding poverty isn't the same as using violence to impose those things on people. the idea that violence is morally repugnant regardless of context is a belief that every oppressor throughout history would love for the oppressed to hold

doing actual worldbuilding for a story that is 100% porn is the best thing. yes i know you're here to flick your shit. analyze my weapon design boy

No foreplay without loreplay.

The axe forgets. The tree forgets. The squirrels in the forest forget. Nobody remembers

a mere dutch angle is nowhere near enough to capture the depths of my insanity

“He was like a corgi: by all signs unaware that a fight was even happening, just enthusiastic and delighted to be involved.”

“He was like a labrador– so known for being friendly and having a soft mouth that everyone forgot that he was actually quite large and had teeth.”

“He was like a poodle - much smarter than you’d expect for someone with such flamboyant hair ”

“He was like an Irish Wolfhound - he could do more damage being friendly than most people could do in a blind rage.”

He was like a beagle - AAAUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *breath* AUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tags via @ragsy: #he was like a mutt; no one knew what he was meant to be and everyone was disappointed in him anyway

He was like a Newfoundland: much too lazy to be dealing with any of this, but willing to get up and bodycheck the person causing the problem if it would mean he could go back to sleep.

He was like a Street Dog: He was scared and hungry. He would rather avoid a fight if he could… But god forbid you gave him a reason to bite you.

He was like a golden doodle; He was adorable in every conceivable way but was surprisingly good with his words

He was like a husky; soft and caring but would not shut the fuck up

He was like a Jack Russell Terrier, clearly outmatched but refusing to believe it.

He was like that one very specific collie/shepherd cross I (the author) knew – too energetic and mischievous to leave alone, and surprisingly happy to intimidate strangers into giving him food.

She was like a borzoi — elegant and otherworldly, prone to long periods of what could politely be called reflection and accurately labeled laziness. But you shouldn’t let her long hair and serene gaze fool you; when something caught her eye, she was ruthless, fast, and unstoppable. She came from a long line of hunters, after all, that even wolves knew to fear.

high comedy

Sooner or later leftists will have to deal with the issue that capitalism has made many people used to wanton excess and sooner or later we'll have to legit tell everyone we can't have plastic treats and luxury produce or cruises instantly available year round and it's gonna make so many people mad and call you a big meanie worse than stalin over it. It will not be popular at all but someone's gotta hold a firm no or the planet will never stop collapsing. We can't save the planet by living exactly how we do now just with a communist banner over it we have to take a loss sorry, shein product cycles shouldn't have been normalized to begin with.

The banana discourse really separated the wheat from the chaff of which "lefties" actually want a global workers revolution and which ones just want more stuff to be free

might be the headonism in me but what the fuck is a dopamine addiction. you mean liking feeling good?? in the one life you get????? what are you evangelical?????????

How to explain to people that the harmful part of addiction is the harmful patterns of compulsive behavior and not the parts that feel good?