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sentences from amrit brarās shitty horoscopes series.Ā you may adjust as needed.
BOOK I: SUCH TERRIBLE THINGS
ā holy fucking shit. just. holy shit. what the fuck. ā
ā nobody really knows the nuances of what you get up to in your spare time, and honestly theyāre probably better off that way. ā
ā busy yourself with the affairs of the living, for once.. ā
ā the answer is no. ā
ā ohhh boy. you. fuck you. yes, you specifically. ā
ā delete your search history. ā
ā please practice blinking as others can be unsettled by your inhuman ability to maintain an unbreakable stare during casual conversation. ā
ā what did you ever do to deserve this? in all probability, something terrible. ā
ā you are a crayon. get out of the toolbox. ā
ā none will love the butcher. donāt take it too personally. ā
ā some relationships, like warts, can be handled with the tactful application of liquid nitrogen. ā
ā take a long shower. wash your hair. wash the clothes you were wearing. wash the memories from your mind and body. ā
ā frostbite is considerably difficult to heal from. ā
ā there is poetry in brutal efficiency. ā
ā HELLFIRE HELLFIRE HELLIRE. ā
ā people would take your raging far more seriously if you werenāt crying the entire time. ā
ā what made you so vindictive? ā
ā some bodies may be temples, but all are ruins at your feet. ā
ā your contempt will always taste like grief. ā
ā in the process your body is subsumed piece by piece. ā
ā you are the bone-deep fury of an abscessed tooth. ā
ā you are notorious for rubbing salt in the wound. cheap vodka in the wound. battery acid in the wound! ā
ā vehicular arson is not the answer. ā
BOOK III: PETTY EXISTENTIAL CRISES
ā the sooner you accept your impending expiration, the sooner you can stop trying to swallow the sun. ā
ā embrace the inevitable. snuggle with the inevitable. take the inevitable out to a nice, candle-lit dinner. ā
ā there are forces outside of your control. most of them donāt care for you. ā
ā when it all goes to hell just remember itās whatās inside that counts (though many would not find you very appetizing). ā
ā not all things have significance, which is scary. the things you overlooked tend to have the most, which is scarier. ā
ā your teeth are only porcelain, your ribcage simply glass. like all delicate things, they can know no permanence. ā
ā in time youāll learn that ājustā and ārightā only mean the same thing when theyāre coming from very specific people. please donāt cry. ā
ā you may not want to change, but the world is unforgiving and will do it for you anyway. ā
ā sometimes we put our hearts in the wrong places (what the fuck is it going between your teeth). ā
ā nothing can stay. ā
ā you can put all the flowers in your mouth that you fucking want, but dying is dying and rot is rot. ā
ā loneliness is the fracture that never heals quite right. ā
ā lay them to rest. ā
ā they are there, hovering nervously. you will watch the skies. you will wait. ā
ā there will be scrapes and sutures: viciousness and victory. ā
ā a cacophony of awe and joy and terror. ā
ā an eye for an eye. a tooth for a tooth. a knife for the ribs. ā
ā you will not be swayed by the morally destitute. ā
ā decay will feed the bloom. ā
ā devour death like crows, for all the feathers between your teeth. ā
ā twisting/screaming/uncompromising. every inch. every iota. ā
ā once, answers were found in mouths, bathtubs, and bottles. this time around, get inventive. ā
ā lies you have told yourself: your humanity is the largest burden you will bear. ā
ā decorating your meltdowns is all well and good, but a trainwreck is a trainwreck and it might be time to get a paramedic. ā
ā they tell you āthere i nothing to fear but fear itself,ā but you have seen yourself in the mirror. ā
ā you may have been gutted but you mouth is soft, your tongue is silver, and your teeth are gemstones cut to size. ā
ā itās less like biting off more than you can chew, and more like dislocating your jaw. ā
ā even spectres can tire. ā
ā seeing yourself for who you really are would be great if you knew where to start looking. ā
ā it pays to kill with kindness when youāre your own worst enemy. ā
ā youāre only armed to the teeth because youāre more brittle than youād care to admit. ā
ā your ego cannot afford cremation or caskets. ā
ā frequent tastes of your own medicine can get poisonous real quick. ā
ā self reflection is important! whether you like what you see is up for debate. whether it can be contained in a dark basement is another matter entirely. ā
ā you are a quiet god, and your hunger is cavernous. ā
ā at times your body is simply a prison laid in gold. ā
ā death, dust, party, repeat. ā
ā devour the monsters and you can call any place home. ā
ā youāre only as lucky as your expectations are low. ā
ā worse than having too many secrets is having no secrets at all. ā
ā if seeing is believing you might be in some trouble. ā
ā suspend belief. expel fear. throw reason into a frigid cell, never to be seen again. ā
ā killing the monsters is the easy bit. itās finding them thatās the hard part. ā
ā there exists a tipping point between gods and monsters. ā
ā a mouthful of ashes bested by a life of smoke and mirrors. ā
ā whatās to be gained from the keeping the heaviest of treasures behind your teeth? ā
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