I need a nap

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.

cumblr.

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literally is there Something you want or

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god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

I saw this theory years ago and still agree to this day.

Reblog to give a trans person a shockingly high resolution mango

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

how many tons of cement would we need to fill in Silicon Valley, hypothetically speaking

enough that if you poured it all at once, the exothermic curing reaction would also succeed in melting it

so we do it very slowly then

we need visionaries like yourself in public office