gay, with a weird fetish

I need more violence from yall when you write jonalias “microbursts of homicidal rage” magchard mf has 100% broken a wine bottle over peters head during a funding dispute. Peter was fine of course but it was still a fucking insane thing to do and elias refuses to acknowledge that it happened. Yall call jon feral but elias pipe murdered a dude and then called it an “overreaction”. Hes a rabid fucking animal masquerading as the most boring occultist in the world in a Dolce&Gabbana suit.

One time he shot simon fairchild in the thigh during a debate over “balancing the powers” and they didn’t talk for 20 years. Another time he dumped his cocktail on peter at a party and then broke the stem off and used it to stab him in the chest (because elias is 5’4 inches of BARELY repressed rage and could not reach his throat). No yelling or really visible anger preceded these moments just 0-60 pure violence. Peter called him “eli” to annoy him one time at a budget meeting with the fairchilds and elias stabbed him through the palm with a letter opener and pinned his hand to the table. Jon is a little fucking baby in the woods compared to elias/jonah who used to use his beholding powers to blackmail his way out of prison on assault charges until he discovered the meditative powers of budgeting and microsoft excel. He’s hideously fucking boring until the rabies switch gets flipped and he fucking kills someone with a plastic fork because they cut him in line at a cafe.

Sure jon you rip statements from peoples heads but have you ever gone fucking ape shit after peter said “well they are to me” during a debate on if a turtle was an amphibian or not like it was an actual fucking argument after both beholding powers and google proved him wrong and broken his nose and then tried to beat him to death with a paperweight? No? You’re not feral then

The only reason why elias isnt the slaughter is because he’s too fucking smug and likes to lord shit over people and the slaughter didn’t want to deal with his weasel ass. Thats it.

I found it again. I looked for 2 hours. fuck yeah I love this post

im losing my shit at the mental image of some random passerby in london just eating lunch and seeing this sea captain who looks like he’d rather be anywhere else and this prim and proper businessman who looks like he does taxes for fun ((he does)) sitting in a cafe arguing and then all of a sudden the businessman throws his fucking coffee at the sea captain and flips a table and starts stabbing him with a chair leg while screaming bloody murder. like how do you even fucking start to process this situation

can someone explain to me what kind of old timey dungeon cuffs is elias in because like that’s a heavy sound those handcuffs he keeps rattling keep making 

and they think that clinking the chains… doesn’t feed elias-fuckers?

Elias actually requested the dramatic chains as part of his deal with the police. They originally had him restrained in regular handcuffs, but it wasn’t extra enough. He’s trying to guilt-trip Peter Lukas into a fourth marriage, and the chains are all part of his plan.

the way their mustaches combine....

this is canon and I don't care 😭