Drifting

Expand my lungs, penetrate

Every cell I own

Until there’s no more

You, or me, no in between

I was your cup of tea

I soothed you

I energized you

But you lost your taste for me

You drink coffee now.

There’s a hole in your heart

You fill it with love, distraction, consumption

But that’s where you were supposed to live

You’ve been so small since you were young

You couldn’t imagine filling that space with yourself

Now there’s a hole in my heart

I want to fill it with love,

But love is so temporary,

It always ends in death or separation

I’ll have to fill it with myself

But I found you in the woods

I stopped asking “Why me?”

As my heart opened up to you

We didn’t ask for this,

But we found each other at the perfect time

(You make me believe in magic)

To be understood by someone

Is to be loved

To be loved

Is to grow together

In this moment,

We are alive and we are together

And that’s all I’ve ever hoped for

It’s a love like coming home during a thunderstorm

The sky like eternity

I used to close my eyes and see mountains and endless sky

And imagine forests full of wildlife below the misty trees

I thought anything could happen, there was magic in the wind

But now I close my eyes and all I see is you.

Fill me

Need me

Engulf me

Let’s pretend everything is ok

You think you can’t live with your heart ripped out?

You can.

You think your mind will slow down one day?

It won’t.

It’s falling into your arms at the end of the day

And now that you’re gone

It’s learning how to breathe again.

I was never very good at loving myself

We were sitting together, terrified to look at each other.

The tension like a blanket on us

Then my lips were on yours, and it was warm and soft,

I felt like my heart was going to explode

And when I opened my eyes, your face was so close,

And your eyes were so bright,

You said you loved me

And now you say nothing at all

You have ripped away your presence

And shattered my life

But you love me.

That sees the sky through its cage

You used to go to sleep at night

All by yourself in your bed

And you felt at peace

That the day was done

You looked forward to the next day

I don’t.

Sleeping alone is something I’ve forgotten how to do

And I wake up at 3am

Mine just Baba Yaga’d it’s way out of my life.

You loved me

And every day

Had a glow about it

And every night

Was never ending

Every moment was magical

Because I was never alone

You were always in my mind

And now your chair is empty

And I have to learn who I am again

It hurts

I can’t remember who I was before you

Did I even exist?

Wasn’t I just waiting for the day

You would look at me

And pull all the figments and dreams

That float around me

And mold them into someone you could love?

I have been untethered

I’m floating so far now

I don’t know how to get back to earth

Whether it was Fate, chance, God or molecule

Shimmering in the moonlight