Hello

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.”

Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.

well you did ask

Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.

you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN

Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 lbs of meat.

plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.

Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.

Both informative and disturbing. Just another day on this God forsaken website then.

Quality content.

Cows sitting like dogs is what I needed to see right now

MOO DOGS

me watching shrek

Are you flirting with me or am I overanalyzing all of our interactions: a novel written by me

i almost scrolled past this, like some kind of idiot

jane austen: this character is going to be the purest, sweetest, prettiest, kindest character i have ever written jane austen: everybody will love her jane austen: she is her mother’s favourite jane austen: a rich, kind, handsome bachelor falls instantly in love with her jane austen: the heroine looks up to her jane austen: she has never done anything wrong in her entire life jane austen: if she has any character flaws at all its that she is TOO much of an absolute sweetheart jane austen: and i will call her….. jane austen: jane :-)