*//𝑫𝑬𝑻𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑽𝑬.

#𝑰𝑴𝑷𝑼𝑳𝑺𝑬𝑷𝑶𝑺𝑻.          independent,  selective,  mutuals - only,  16+  𝑵𝐴𝑁𝐶𝑌 𝑾𝐻𝐸𝐸𝐿𝐸𝑅  of netflix’s  𝑺𝑇𝑅𝐴𝑁𝐺𝐸𝑅 𝑻𝐻𝐼𝑁𝐺𝑆.   trigger warnings for underage substance use,  conspiracy,  violence,  &&  blood / gore.   please do not follow if you are under the age of 16,  for my personal comfort.   penned by  𝒅𝑢𝑠𝑡  (21+),  he / they.                ────     𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔  &&  𝒃𝒊𝒐                               ────     𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈

               ────     Despite having just had Thanksgiving dinner only a day or two before, Holly had insisted on watching Christmas movies.  And with Mike having disappeared with his friends and both parents busy for the day, Nancy was left in charge of checking out Rudolph the Red - Nose Reindeer and How the Grinch Stole Christmas for her sister.

...And maybe Trading Places for herself, if she had enough money.

Stepping inside, it was easy to notice the already - in - place Christmas decorations;  tinsel, garland, blinking multi - colored lights.  And, of course, lounging behind the counter, someone Nancy had...totally forgot worked here, honestly.

Without looking any further up, she made her way to him, her best friendly smile on her face.  “Fancy seeing you here, Steve.”  Her hands rested against the edge of the counter, fingers tapping along the top.  “You don’t so happen to know if you have any Christmas movies out on display yet?  I mean, this place seems to be ahead of the game, just like everyone else.”

With that said, she moved her gaze around the store, finally catching a glance upwards.  Her weight shifted onto one foot, one hand pulled off the counter to point up at the mistletoe hanging just above her.

Steve pauses when she asks him to wait, because of course he does. Even when he’s mad he listens to her. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he just let her go? “You don’t want me to stay, and you don’t want me to go? What do you want from me Nance?”

Frustration, pure and raw fills his voice as he speaks but then she knocks the wind out of his sails; she wants to be with him? She was starting to give him whiplash, and then she  got to the real heart of the problem and he rolled his eyes.

“Nancy I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but…That’s a goddamn excuse. I would never ask you to give that up and you know it, but if you can picture a future without me in it? And that doesn’t…like completely break your heart? I’m not asking for you to settle down and have a family with me now. I mentioned a dream I had with you in it”

He’s ranting now, though he’s careful to keep his voice calm and collected. “I want you to succeed. I- God I want nothing more than you to become the best journalist in the entire goddamn world. I also want to be there when you do. I want you in my life and…” He finally stops to take a breath.

“If you don’t want than then you need to tell me. I can’t keep…I can’t keep doing this Nance.”

               ────     “ I‒  I just. . . ”  She trails off, clearly a bit hesitant to open up.  It’s a long moment of silence, maybe a little awkward, broken only by audible deep breaths as she thinks, going through every word in her mind to find the right ones.

Why’d this have to be so hard?  Letting it all out seemed so. . .easy.  They all made it look so easy.

Hm.  Guess that’s what years of bottling things up does to someone.

“ . . .I never thought I could have both, ”  she finally admits, voice quiet and gaze focused on the ground between herself and Steve.  “ It always felt like I had to choose. ”

Her arms come up, hands gently grabbing at her elbows.  “ My mom settled down.  She had to choose between a work life and a married life, and she chose my dad.  And maybe, at some point, they were both happy, like‒  like we were, back in. . .  But I see them, at the dinner table, or on family nights. . . ”  Huff.  “ She always encouraged me to work towards my goals, so I wouldn’t. . . ”