For Her

She feels nothing.

 There should be unrelenting guilt washing over her as she eyes her class— the bitter taste of death omnipresent on her tongue. She should be averting her typically cold, unreadable gaze to the floor, unable to look any of the ones she betrayed in the eye. She should be sputtering apologies as crystal tears cascade down her pale cheeks, begging for forgiveness and mercy beneath her judge, jury, and executioner. She should be fighting back— a show of resistance, a runaway from the death she’d meet too young.

 (SOFIA ROMANO HAS BEEN FOUND GUILTY.)

 She should feel remorse. She should feel as guilty as she is.

 [COMMENCING EXECUTION…]

 But she doesn’t.

 Everything she’d ever done, everything she would ever do was for Aria— her reason to live, her reason to open her eyes after nightmare-plagued midnight’s, her reason to ever smile for anything. Every breath she took, every step her feet dared to pace, every little flicker of life or love or anything in Sofia Romano was for her and no one else.

 But somehow she knows that she wouldn’t be seeing Aria where she was going.

 She does not smile, does not say a word to the others who watch her with contempt, fury, confusion, and teary-eyed sorrow— she does not bare her heart for all to see. She does not let them understand because she knows they never could.

 She is silent as the chain takes her by the throat.

 “Le Morte D’Sofia”

…you’re prepared to die.

This principle did not change here, no matter if Her Lady was there to see it or not. She didn’t mind if her name was lost to history– she had no legacy to leave behind, no relatives she was aware of, no one beyond these walls who would care to keep her memory alive save for Her Lady. And even then, she knew it was only a matter of time before she was replaced.

That was how life went– that was how Sofia’s existence was meant to proceed. She was born a bastard. She was left on the streets only to wink out of existence, her life destined to meet its end in the harsh and boreal winter. She found love, she dedicated her life to that love, and she was now going to pay the price for foolishness.

She wasn’t important enough to be remembered. That was a simple, steadfast fact– her life had no meaning, and she’d been a fool to hope that she had a future. She was replaceable.

When the villain meets her end, no one mourns.

When the murderer pays her price, her memory is reviled into nothingness.

When a knight betrays her honor, she is erased from history.

Sofia would be lying to herself and to everyone else if she pretended that it wasn’t what she deserved.

The knight held her head high nonetheless, carefully neutralizing her countenance, letting her icy barriers rise once more. She didn’t deserve anyone’s love, she didn’t deserve anyone’s mourning– so why should she pretend she did?

Even in the chaos of the courtroom, even among the patchwork of voices, even in spite of what announced her fate…Sofia simply stood where she was, her eyes falling closed and her hand disappearing into the collar of her shirt as she produced a modest, simple chain of beads…with a tiny cross at it’s unity point.

If she was going to die, it was only fair that she apologize.

Uniting her hands with her rosary in between them, she stood in silence for a lengthy few moments– her silent conversation with the only one who could forgive her, the only one who would remember her existence blocking out the world beyond.

…Hey, God? It’s me, Sofia– I just wanted to say I’m sorry.

She couldn’t hear their sighs of relief, she couldn’t hear a word from her classmates.

I’ve done something irreparable, and it’s only fitting I meet my end for it. I have broken one of Your Commandments. I’ve taken the life of an innocent, and…although I don’t expect You to grant my requests…?

It was all lost to her. In those few moments, she only had herself and Him.

I…I just ask a few things of You. Before I’m gone.

She didn’t care what they thought of her anymore.

…My life was not a life. It was a sad existence, and this is truly selfish of me, but I beg of You…please, don’t let anyone else have my same experiences. Let others like me find something to live for and not be a fool enough to sin in its name.

She wasn’t sure if anyone could see her now, but she was crying. Again, to be true, but there was a solemnity– a loneliness here that hadn’t been present in her tears from before.

And second…let My Lady find true love. Please. Let her be safe, let her have the happiness she so truly deserves– protect that smile. Just let her find someone.

But before she put it all away, before she let her final prayer conclude…

…please. Just once, before I die, let me know happiness. …in Your name I pray, Amen.

Sofia tucked her rosary back into its place at her collar, gingerly wiping her tears to the side. She cupped one of her impossible miracles in her hands, directing her focus, her entire being onto it. Its blue petals, albeit synthetic, felt soft and vivacious in her fingers.

“I will say this one last time– I do not want forgiveness. I do not want anything from any of you. What’s done is done and it cannot be taken back.”

Her countenance was neutral, her voice stern and icy.

“I never anticipated for any of you to understand what it’s like to know no love, save for that of a single person. My Lady Aria was the only one who convinced me that my existence could be put to good use. I swore on the day I met her that if time should call upon it, I would die for her.”

The knight betrayed no feeling in her next words. She knew that her memory was soon to die– she knew that it was only a matter of time before the name Sofia Romano bore no significance on this Earth.

“And that time has come, although ‘tis more than a decade late. Although I would love to leave you with words of comfort…I request you not underestimate our captors. No matter how much I wish it? I will not the be the last to take action for something taken away. You’d all best be on your guard.”

She then turned her focus to Beau, eyeing the chessmaster with a new tenderness.

“…Lady Demain, your kindness toward me in spite of my actions…it is not something I will forget even in the grave. You are one of two people who have shown me this kind of benevolence in my eighteen years of living, and I…I cannot stand here and not acknowledge it. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

She then eyed the rest of the class with a murderous seriousness, severity glaring like daggers in her azure eyes. The mild smile that had graced her moments before was gone, replaced with an aggression unimaginable.

“Should any of you attempt to harm Lady Demain, I assure you that this will not be the last you see of me. If I have to drag myself out of my grave to protect her, then I will. This kind of kindness is rare and precious, and I will not hesitate to haunt you if any one of you dare attempt to harm her.”

Sofia plucked one of the blue roses from her hair, throwing it over to Beau with marvelous accuracy.

“Keep this as a symbol of hope– as a sign that I will not leave you regardless of what becomes of me.”

With one last tiny smile, Sofia turned to face Chuuya and Anatol.

“I am ready for whatever punishment you see fit for me. I pray that in death I may fulfill my duties as a knight, my duty to protect…just a little bit better. May my incarnation in the afterlife be that of a guardian angel; maybe then my existence will be for good.”

Deep down, you know

The knight inhaled, allowing tranquility to overcome her composure

you weren’t built for fighting

even though every part of her begged time to start over.

But that doesn’t mean you’re not prepared to try

Although every nerve in her body screamed

What they don’t know

although she’d never wished more that her mother hadn’t left her

is your real advantage

although she’d never longed for Her Lady more

When you live for someone

this was goodbye.

The X stops on Sofia’s face and the room grows quiet for a brief moment. Then, you hear clapping. Turning to your hosts you see Chuuya slowly clapping his hands and looking at you all with a proud smile.

“…You got it right. Congratulations on finding the culprit. For a minute you had us worried, what with the talk and vampires and all that. Although I suppose this was a rather easy case with dearest Sofia confessing and all.”

Sofia Romano- 13

Naoya- 1

Akisa Uehara- 1

Tsukiko Shimuzu- 1

After hearing the knights confession, sending in your votes, and seeing two people get shot before your very eyes, it seems like things had finally started to quiet down. Finally, one of your hosts speaks up.

“Hmm, are you all quite finished now?”

It seemed like Chuuya wasn’t just talking to you all but to Anatol as well. He let’s out a long sigh before addressing you all again.

This was par for the course.

Sofia had anticipated this—the fury in her classmates’ eyes, the indescribable sorrow that bloomed within the very atmosphere, the questions they barraged her with, demanding to know if her words were true. She knew that today would mark her death—that this was the end of her story. This was the final chapter—

But she was not going to meet a happy ending. She could stand there and wish for something good to become of her last moments on this earth, but she knew it wasn’t coming. It was only fitting, after all—a knight who defies her own code and takes the life of another does deserve an end without grace.

She was well-accustomed to what her likely fate would be. But there were two things she hadn’t expected—Beau and Ryo.

When the chess player approached her, arms and heart open, Sofia felt…confused. There had been kindness in Beau’s eyes—a sweetness she’d only ever seen in Her Lady’s visage. And then Beau had wrapped her arms around her, begging the courtroom to realize that the knight hadn’t been in the wrong. That their captors were to blame, that it wasn’t her fault–?

Confusion marred her countenance, molding in with the solemn silence that had been there before. What did this girl see as good within her? She’d taken the life of an innocent teenager—one who had never expected to meet with death.

The more she contemplated it, the harsher the reality became—they were all kids. 

“…Lady Demain…” Sofia said softly, eyeing the chess player with a new tenderness. “…Please do not attempt to justify what I have done. My actions were for My Lady and her alone—I have done something irreparable, and I am human, so I of course resent it. Never once have I said that my actions were noble.”

Her eyes slid between Roland and Akiyama, mild confusion still evident in her expression.

“Like I said—I do not expect any of you to understand. I don’t ask your forgiveness. I don’t think my actions were just, nor do I believe they were noble. I am well aware of the fact that Sir Sho didn’t want to die—and I can honestly say that neither do I. But as long as My Lady is safe? I can go on without regret. I believe justice will encounter me in death.”

But at Ryo’s words, at his mention of Her Lady, of her having no way to know what had ensued..? Sofia froze.

“I..I…”

All of the stern neutrality in her face wilted. She blinked, as if trying to make sense of what he was saying—god, she knew she was selfish for what she’d done, she knew there was no accounting for her actions but—Aria would never know. Aria was never going to know what had happened to her.

What if she stood and waited for her, hoping for the return of a girl who was long gone? What if she never found a better knight, one who would be willing to give it all away for her? What if she waited for Sofia to come home, and without her protection—

“…My Lady…My Lady…” she lamented, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. “Wh..what if she…”

For what was certainly one of the first times in several years, after practicing emotional numbness the same way she did the sword, Sofia was crying her eyes out. Every little nerve within her seemed to explode with agony, her heart raging for the only woman who’d ever given her anything to live for in her life.

And that’s when Anatol pulled his guns out, and the calm before the storm concluded.

“W..WHAT THE HELL?!” Sofia shrieked, fixing her eyes on Anatol. Rage burned in her gaze. “IF YOU WANT TO PUNISH ME FOR WHAT I’VE DONE, THAT’S FINE. GOD KNOWS I DESERVE IT. BUT LADY DEMAIN AND SIR KRAUSS WILL NOT BE SUFFERING FOR MY MISTAKE.”

She eyed the remainder of her class with a pushing anger.