hello, hello

“Do you think I can have one more kiss?

I’ll find closure on your lips and then I’ll go.

Maybe, also, one more breakfast, one more lunch, and one more dinner.

I’ll be full and happy and we can part.

But, in between meals, maybe we can lie in bed one more time?

One more prolonged moment where time suspends indefinitely as I rest my head on your chest.

My hope is if we add up the one more’s, they will equal a lifetime.

And I’ll never have to get to the part where I let you go.

But that’s not real, is it?

There are no more ‘one mores.’

I met you when everything was new and exciting,

and the possibilities of the world seemed endless.

And they still are.

For you.

For me.

But not for us.

Somewhere between then and now, here and there–

I guess we didn’t just grow apart, we grew up.

When something breaks,

if the pieces are large enough,

you can fix it.

Unfortunately, sometimes things don’t break.

They shatter.

But when you let the light in, shattered glass will glitter.

And in those moments – when the pieces of what we were catch the sun – I’ll remember just how beautiful it was.

Just how beautiful it will always be.

Because it was us.

And we were magic.

Forever.”

--

Jenny's Letter to Nate. Someone Great (2019)

At least?

or are we more?

You make me

feel butterflies

in my core

If you don’t mean it, don’t act that way

At restaurants Our favourite game was to touch an object on the table And casually offer a pun Into the existing conversation

Touching the pepper grinder I might say, “You crack me up" Then you would graze your knife and declare, “That's a sharp observation" I would hold my water glass and caution, “Don't get too full of yourself" And you would nod seriously and apologize “You're right, I'm sorry", as you took the pen to sign the check Back and forth we went Eyes shifting from napkin to soup spoon, Considering the table top like a chessboard Giggling at our secrets from the waiters

The best, of course, was when a new object was introduced to the table Something surprising, or difficult to manoeuvre into wordplay Something that left us both staring hard and silent, Racing each others brains to the cleverest quip

You were always faster than I I could not keep up with your lightning mind, And rejoiced instead in the satisfaction it gave you to beat me to the punch line To see you beam at your own wit, And then at me, Your favourite audience. Food always tastes more delicious when you feel victorious, Maybe this is why people like to hunt.

The day you broke up with me, You took me to Whole Foods for lunch This is a pain, Because there are so many of them in New York City and they each look the same And so now every one looks like the scene of the crime. After you told me you'd forgotten my name, on so many other mouths, I said “It's okay.” And held your hand while you cried

If I had been just a little bit faster, I would have reached for the cheap paper napkin holder and said “Thank you, for dispensing this knowledge to me.” It would have not been one of my stronger puns, But it might have made you laugh; Which is still what I wanted most of all in that moment I could of said “Let's table this for later.” And knocked on the counter between us, or I guess I was more disposable than I thought As I reached for a plastic spoon. Maybe "wow, You sure kept this information contained" With a nod to the takeout box "I can't believe you kept a lid on this for so long" As I take a swig of water, "I bet it was really hard to keep bottled up!"

Maybe I could have shouted a line about every single product on the shelves As a threw them to the ground. Winding my backwards through each aisle to the exit. Can you imagine the response I would have gotten Employees wiping their hands on their green aprons, Pausing from shelving the quinoa Turning to see the crazy pun lady go out with a bang I could have delivered one finally zinger shouting, “I've never been so beet-trayed!” As I push over the entire display of violet roots Causing every shopping cart wielding mom to burst into sympathetic applause As I bow my way out.

Actually I doubt anyone could have even noticed I'm sure wilder things happen in Whole Foods all the time Instead, I said "it's okay." Which was the opposite of what I meant I meant, "it's not okay." I meant, "why?" I meant, "please don't leave me." I meant, "I have loved you for five years." I meant, "who will I play with when the waiters aren't looking?" "Who will I race to impress with my banter?" "Who will smile at me when he reaches the punchline first, Delighted that he has won?"

----

"Instead, I said "it's okay." Which was the opposite of what I meant"

Will

Always

Be

My

Greatest