beautiful scars on critical veins

Charlee frowned at him. “That’s a shitty attitude to have and way to look at life.”

“Well, life’s shitty. If I could end it, I would,” Murphy told her. It was the most personal information he was willing to give because it didn’t really matter to him. 

“Is that how you really see people, as burdens?” Her lips curled in disgust. “And I never said I wanted to be your friend. I’m saying you’re a jerk for acting that way and you should be more considerate to others.”

“It’s mostly me; I’m the burden. Everyone else is just everyone else,” he said, chewing on his bottom lip. “And I never said I wasn’t a jerk. If I want to be nice, I’ll be nice, but I don’t. What’s the point anyway? It’s not like anything I do even matters. Nothing lasts forever....” except me he found himself thinking. 

Juliet sat down once they were far enough, taking the bottle out of her jacket. She smiled at him, and shrugged a little. “I can’t say I don’t agree with you, but I’ve always been a little greedy when it comes to this sort of stuff.” The brunette told him as she opened the bottle, and without a second thought, she began to drink. A couple of seconds later, she handed him the bottle. “Well, this is a good one for starters, if this is your first time drinking.”

When she handed him the bottle, he took a small sip, which turned into a longer drink. The alcohol burned in the back of his throat, not exactly pleasant tasting, but still good. He passed back to her, wiping his mouth with his hand. “You’re right, it is my first time drinking. It’s not bad at all. I mean, the taste is probably acquired, but it’s exactly what I need.” 

“That works too, but I prefer to think them helping someone else than being stuck with me when I’m obviously, not going to talk.”

“I mean, whatever it takes. It’s their job, so if they do manage to track me down, they’ll just have to put up with me. If they stay out of my way and help others who want to be helped, that’s fine too.” 

Charlee stopped when he called. Mostly out of politeness and not actually wanted to. When he “explained” himself she sort of scrunched her nose at him. “And who are you to brush off people like that? What makes you so star spangled awesome that you don’t need anybody and just want to tell people fuck you? You know, it’s not all about you. Maybe people want to be friends with you because they need a friend.” She clipped at him.

“I see your point, but I don’t think that I can be that friend. I’m not ‘star-spangled awesome,’ I just don’t want to be the reason someone ends up worse off than when they met me. No one deserves a friend like me. I’ll listen if somebody wants to talk, but that’s it. I’m no one’s burden and no one is mine. You’re right, it’s not all about me, which is why you have every right to not like me. That’s your prerogative .”

“Actually it’s quite simple, you have to not show up at the appointment and hide in the Island, not the cabin they’ll find you easily otherwise. But you also need to recognize them, in case you see them from afar, then you disappear without them seeing you. And all that without running.”

“I think I can manage that, and if all else fails, I just won’t talk. It’s worked for me before.” 

“Books are good too, of course there are some shitty books out there, but I believe there are many more bad movies than bad books.”When they arrived at the doorway, and after she realised that there was no one near, Juliet took her hair clip and opened the door with it. Quickly walking in, the brunette went directly to the place where they kept the alcohol. Taking one bottle at random, Juliet left the place quickly hiding the bottle inside her jacket. once they were far away she took it out. “I could only take one, they’re starting to notice that someone is taking their alcohol.”

He followed her back out feeling more exhilarated about this small act of thievery than he had about anything in a long time. The last time possibly being the first time he took his own life, before he knew about his curse.  It had been so freeing to take control like that, but it had turned out he didn’t have any control at all. This felt good though, it was great. “One is better than none,” he said, grinning at her. 

“I actually understand what you mean, I’m not ready to share some sides of my story either. I actually haven’t met a shrink or a therapist since I arrived here, I’m avoiding them and I live it quite well.“

“You’ll have to give me some tips on avoiding the shrinks. The last thing I want is to get forced into talking about what’s wrong with me.”

Charlee frowned at Murphy when he said he didn’t want friends. When she was a human, and back in her hometown, she would have given anything to have friends. And he was just like ‘fuck it. I don’t need them’. It made her mad.

Murphy blew out a long breath, tightening his jaw. He didn’t want to explain himself. “Yeah, I will...” He mumbled as she walked away and then against his better judgement, “Hey! Wait!” He called out to her and took a step forward, “Charlee. I never said other people shouldn’t have friends. I just don’t think that I should have them and I have my own reasons for that, but friends can be great. I had a few when I was a child; they were great, but things changed. I changed. It’s a personal choice for me, but you should have friends if you want them. I know it can be hard to find them sometimes though.” 

“Fair enough. You do care, and it’s nice that care. My story, what happened to me; it’s a part of me. Telling people feels like it would be giving away something of myself that I don’t think I’m ready to let go of yet. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone but me, but it is what it is. 

“It’s truly bullshit in it’s finest forms, and some of them are rather creepy.’’ Like that fifty shades movie, book, whatever, that her sister liked so much. She tilted her head to aside and nod. “Sure, I need someone to watch my back anyway.” Juliet wouldn’t admit it, but she actually liked that he wanted to break the rules in his first day. She simply started to walk towards the kitchen. ‘’It’s over here.’’

“You’re definitely not wrong. I prefer books anyways,” Murphy said, nodding when she agreed to let him accompany her. He followed her to the kitchen and stood in the doorway, listening for any sounds of one of the camp doctors coming to check on them, but it was silent. He gave her a smile and nod, waiting quietly for her to take the alcohol they had come for.

 “You sound like Eden.” Charlee mummered. More to herself than anything. He doesn’t know who Eden is so probably wouldn’t get it, but his attitude reminded him a lot of the demure vampire and his maker’s “sister”. Only she had more tact and manners.

His brows knitted slightly at the name Eden. He wondered absently who that was and what they were like, but he didn’t say anything. “It’s a good thing I don’t need your approval on my life choices then,” Murphy said. He’d never admit it out loud, but he did miss having friends, but having friends hurt him and it would hurt them. It was better like this.