catch me being extra for the entertainment of my friends

luke is babysitting his niece and nephew when they come to visit so that his brother and sister-in-law can have an afternoon to themselves, and he wants them to use up all their energy so he takes them to a park. after a while the kids start picking flowers and giggling to each other but they keep looking at luke and turning away so he gets suspicious. he goes to ask them why they're being so sneaky when they hand him the flowers they picked. he immediately feels bad and says thank you but they inform him that the flowers aren't for him. one kid takes his free hand and the other starts pushing him from behind and they walk him up to a man on a bench, who looks up from writing in his notebook when the group approaches him. luke is trying not to blush as he looks at the kids questioningly. they point to the flowers, so he holds them out to the other man. "I think these are for you?" he says slowly. the man takes them, looking amused. luke's niece makes grabby hands asking him to pick her up so he does and she whispers (loudly, the way kids do) to him, "you kept looking at him like daddy looks at mama." by now luke is definitely blushing and the man on the bench has his hand over his mouth to hide his laughing. "what? it's true," luke's nephew says, rolling his eyes as if adults will never make sense to him. "thank you for the flowers," the man finally speaks up. "I'm awsten." luke's nephew grabs his arm and holds it out to shake awsten's hand, since luke doesn't seem to be able to do it himself. "luke, nice to meet you."

so luke and awsten have been dating for two years and they’re both clingy as fuck so more than once ash has had one of them sleeping half the night on his couch only to be gone by morning because even when they’re mad at each other they can’t stay mad and they always make up before the sun comes up, they’re practically perfected the art of touring separately and together, and they’ve both been plotting to their now-combined friend group separately about when and how to propose until luke is scrolling way back in his bf’s instagram and gets the perfect idea, two weeks later 5sos leaves on tour and five weeks later they’ll be back in los angeles and the plan hatches perfectly in his mind, pull his bf on stage for a song (the crowds always loved him anyway) and give him the guitar solo, so right as the lights are brightest and the band is loudest, down on one knee with a rose in his mouth and a ring in his hand...

I WANNA WRITE IT, THE WHOLE THING, BUT I WOULD RATHER WATCH THE MOVIE OH MY GOD ANIMATED INNOCENT PURE PRINCE HARRY WHO BELIEVES IN THE MAGIC OF TRUE LOVE FALLS INTO THE REAL WORLD OF LONDON WHERE LOUIS'S SEVEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER MISTAKES HIM FOR PRINCE CHARMING AND THEY END UP TAKING HIM HOME BECAUSE HE'S SO CLUELESS AND HE'S SO AMAZED BY THE WAY TECHNOLOGY WORKS AND HE'S UP SO EARLY IN THE MORNING GETTING ALL THE URBAN WILDLIFE TO HELP HIM COOK AND CLEAN THE HOUSE WITH A SONG AND LOUIS CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING BUT HE'S STRANGELY ENDEARED AND THEN HARRY MEETS LOUIS'S ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND BUT IS KIND TO HIM ANYWAY AND LOUIS'S DAUGHTER DEFINITELY LIKES THIS MAGICAL HANDSOME SINGING MAN MORE THAN DADDY'S BOYFRIEND WHO IGNORES HER AND LOUIS HAS TO TAKE HARRY TO WORK WITH HIM BECAUSE THE LAST THING HE NEEDS IS HIS HOUSE BURNED DOWN AND THEN HARRY SINGS A SONG ABOUT HOW LOUIS SHOULD SHOW HIS BOYFRIEND HE LOVES HIM AND THERE'S A FUNDRAISER BALL THAT LOUIS'S COMPANY IS HOSTING AND LOUIS HAS MADE A CHARITABLE DONATION BUT WASN'T GOING TO GO BECAUSE HE DOESN'T DANCE BUT HARRY CONVINCES HIM TO TAKE HIS BOYFRIEND BUT THEN HIS DAUGHTER TAKES HARRY SHOPPING WITH HER EMERGENCY CREDIT CARD AND HE TURNS INTO THE MODERN EQUIVALENT OF A REAL LIFE PRINCE CHARMING AND HE GOES TO THE BALL AND STEALS LOUIS'S HEART OUT FROM UNDER HIS NOSE

Imagine it’s Christmas eve and H&L try their hardest to make their kiddies go to bed but they insist on staying up so Harry gives in and says they can all stay up together on the couch but Louis says he’s going to bed, at around 11 the last of the kids falls asleep and then Harry starts drowsing off too but Louis (dressed as Santa just in case any of the kids are still awake) sneaks in to put the presents under the tree and Harry sleepily asks to have one of the cookies and the oldest kid who’s only like six wakes up a little just in time to see Santa kiss daddy on the lips and she pretends to be asleep because Santa will disappear if she’s awake and the next morning when they’re all awake and opening presents she looks up at Louis really sadly and he asks her what’s wrong and she just starts bawling about him and daddy getting a “difforce” and Louis is like “where did you get that idea??” so she pulls on his sweater and whispers in his ear “I saw daddy kissing Santa Claus” before crying again and Louis has to pretend to be shocked and Harry has to explain that Santa is just an old friend and they’re definitely not getting a divorce all while Louis is in the next room dying laughing because they could have avoided this whole thing if Uncle Niall would have been Santa like he promised but he went and got too drunk last night

some paper townsy fic, where Louis sneaks into Harry's room in the middle of the night for some grand adventure, whisks him away to sneak into a theme park where they climb up to the top of a roller coaster but can't go any further because they don't have the key to turn it on, "accidentally" fall into the splash pool at the bottom of the log flume ride, then out to some gas station in the middle of nowhere, where Louis buys them soda and soft serve ice cream - chocolate for Louis and vanilla for Harry - and they sit out under the stars on the hood of the car still drying off from their swim, the warm early summer breeze wrapping them in a bubble of joy between the tall grass and the lonely cars passing by on the freeway, then Louis sneaks Harry back home, but when Louis goes to disappear the following night, Harry is right by his side

Calum gets a haircut and Michael pretends to sell the hair on ebay but Cal knows it's him so he pretends to be a customer who wants to buy it and Mikey starts freaking out because he doesn't have any actual hair to sell and that's really creepy anyway should he just report that person? but he can't do that because then he'll get in trouble for selling a fake product so he goes and buys a brown haired wig and tries to give it a trim but Cal catches him and dies laughing and Mikey vows not to speak to him for at least a week but he breaks after the first two hours

H&L wake up in the middle of the night to their baby crying so Louis gets up to go check on her and Harry falls back asleep but he wakes up two hours later when the sun is coming up and the other side of the bed is still empty so he goes to the baby’s room to check on her and he sees Louis curled up beside her in the crib with his arm around her and her blanket covering his feet and Harry has never been so endeared in his life

Harry always gets Louis his Christmas present a month early and hides it in the exact same place and Louis always finds it early and pretends to be surprised anyway but Harry knows this and from the second year he's always had a second present hidden somewhere else that Louis never looks for because he always finds the first one so he never finds this little black box that Harry successfully hides in Louis's sock drawer for four years because in the rare case he ever wears socks he always steals Harry's but the fifth year Louis doesn't find his Christmas present in the same place so he secretly tears the house apart looking for it and Harry comes home from grocery shopping one day about a week before Christmas to find the living room a wreck and everything pulled out of the coat closet but he just smiles and decides there won't be a better time than now so he pretends to be angry and tells Louis where the present is and gets his camera ready to remember the look on Louis's face forever when he finds out he's about to be engaged

Harry in one of Louis's shirts and Louis's beanie and Louis tries to get his beanie back because "you've got like ten of your own why do you take mine?" so Harry turns on the charm -"because it smells like you. and your smell is my favorite."- and even though Louis knows exactly what he's doing he lets him get away with it because they both know he's wearing something of Harry's tomorrow

Louis works as a concierge in a fancy hotel, Harry is a student at the university but he works as a bellhop nights and he has exams coming up and projects and everything else and when he gets stressed he bakes, so he starts sneaking into the hotel kitchen at around midnight after the restaurant is closed and room service dies down, when he often has less to do, and he bakes whatever he can think of, it starts with a dozen muffins, a few nights later the muffins have nuts and crumb topping and glaze, then it’s cupcakes, cakes, danishes, cookies, anything he can think of that could stand being interrupted and wouldn’t make a huge mess so he could clean up quickly and in case he got called to the desk to help someone, and one morning Louis comes in to work just in the nick of time and he’s missed breakfast but there in the staff lounge is a plate of muffins, and this keeps happening day after day and Louis sees himself skipping breakfast on purpose because everything in the lounge is so delicious but he doesn’t know where the baked goods are coming from and neither does anyone else so he switches shifts with someone one day so he can work later and he finds himself writing a note to the mystery baker in his free time thanking them for all the breakfast items but please make them healthier I think I’ve gained five kilos so he leaves the note on the table in the lounge early in the morning just before he has to leave but there’s no breakfast yet so he decides to wait and when he sees Harry sneak in with a plate of maple orange scones he’s glad he did

Soulmate tattoo au where two people don't have matching tattoos but complementary ones, so the dating circles become groups of people with the same theme, like all the astronomical tattoos and all the food ones and all the animal ones, and Louis hangs around the nautical group because he figures that's where he'll find his complement and Harry is the most popular person in the floral group and they run in two separate worlds until they literally bump into each other one day on their way to wherever they're in such a rush to be (they both forget their plans the moment their eyes meet) and they think being together is breaking the rules because what does a knife have to do with a flower? so they sneak around to be together and write each other secret letters and songs but then Harry goes off and does some research and they find out they were soulmates all along

You're tired. You don't want to get up. You stay on the floor. The carpet grows like grass onto you. Your cells become one with the ground. Your responsibilities disappear. You are calm. Your limbs are like tree roots. They keep you steady. The dust settles onto you and you let it. The moon shines through the window. There is no you. There is only a room and a tree.

au where Mikey is out partying and ends up drunk off his tits and gets put in a cab but he tells the driver his old address on accident and ends up walking into Calum’s house bc the door was unlocked and he happened to put his couch in the same place as Mikey used to have his so he goes to lie down and out of the bathroom walks the hottest guy he’s ever seen wearing nothing but a towel and he goes to yell at him for being in his house at the same time that Calum yells at him for being in his house but Mikey is so drunk and flirty and clingy that Calum would feel bad kicking him out so late and so he lets this drunk yet endearing guy sleep on his couch and leaves him a glass of water and some seltzer for the next morning