Imagines for A3!

He had said it with such conviction, as if the case was closed and you could offer up no counter. And you really couldn’t. His words had shattered the part of your soul that might whip up a snippy retort, instead your lower lip quivered as you tried to ignore the implications behind what he just said. Was he breaking up with you?

Perhaps it was inevitable that he broke your heart. He had warned you from day one that he wasn’t meant for relationships, that everyone he had even bothered having had fallen apart before long. You had willingly taken the plunge with him again because the thought of him not being yours felt unbearable but… wasn’t this worse? Having to feel him slipping through your fingers like sand, the strength of your grip irrelevant? If you never knew what it was to love the real Takato Tasuku, would your heart still be in tact?

You seat yourself at a table as far from others as possible, your social battery drained before the real party had even begun. You’re afraid you might cry unprompted if someone tried to strike up a conversation with you, knowing it would lead to them asking for a reason and you weren’t ready to speak what had happened out loud. So, you sit alone, sipping wine, keeping an eye out for the breaker of your heart.

You get caught up in your thoughts as a slower song comes on, a memory rushing to the forefront of your mind. It reminded you of an older play Tasuku had been practicing for, asking for your help along the way to practice lines. It was always a thrill to watch him transform up close so you couldn’t deny him. The play, the relationship between the two characters you were playing, was never meant to be a romantic one yet there was a certain intensity to the scene that led you to be standing closer than normal. You liked to think a small bit of reality was bleeding into the fantasy you were both enacting, passion too strong to be stopped by any boundary.

He had been the one to make the first move, hands holding either side of your face as he gave you a lip crushing kiss. Tasuku, or his character? You nearly gasped out his name, shattering the immersion, but a tiny voice in your brain told you to hush. If you broke his concentration, he’d snap out of it and move away, and you didn’t really want that, did you?

You can still see his face now, the way he pulled away with an unreadable expression on his face. You kept eye contact with him even as his hands slowly fell from your face to rest at his sides.

“…Do you do that with all your scene partners?”

You had never seen him flustered before but what a beautiful sight it was, color blossoming across his face quicker than he could cover it up. You wanted to ask him then and there- was that you? Were you kissing me? Or was it Sir Leander, too caught up in the moment with his ward, driven to an emotional edge and desperately needing an outlet?

You never did ask. Things just happened, and suddenly he was yours.

‘Was.’ Your brain emphasized.

‘Was.’ Your heart cried.

Your drink desperately needed to be refilled but your legs don’t feel much like working. You were surprised you had even stood and chatted for as long as you did. You stayed seated, staring at the ever dwindling remainder of your drink; you took smalls sips like you were traveling through the desert and didn’t know when you’d get another chance to hydrate. You began wondering how embarrassing it would be if you just dragged yourself across the floor to get to your next cup, taking shelter under the bar for the rest of the party. Your daydreams of peace are interrupted when a shadow loomed over you, blocking out the glittery lights that were covering everyone in the room now that DJ Disco had arrived to the party.

You don’t have to look up to guess who it is.

What did you want him to say?

‘We need to talk.’

No. That would be too much. You couldn’t handle that right now, you couldn’t handle anything from him at all. Gods above, you needed another drink stat.

“Do you need a refill?”

What a considerate bastard he was. Not surprising, to you at least. Others might be surprised at his consideration, he could be direct and rude more often than not, but he knew how to handle you with care. He knew little things about you, noticed habits that you hadn’t even realized yourself, it was almost like he was doing a character study on you. He had said once while under the influence (which you just considered him being even more truthful than normal) that he could simply watch you be for hours on end. He didn’t even seem embarrassed for saying it, the tiny, almost devilish smile on his face making you wonder if he was teasing you.

You hadn’t given him a verbal response but he didn’t need one. By the time you had pulled yourself out of your reverie he had appeared again with a full glass of wine, placing it delicately in front of you before he seated himself beside you. You considered chugging it, downing glass after glass and making him get you a new one each time, not giving him a chance to open up a conversation you didn’t want to have. But you knew with one more glass you’d only make yourself look like a fool, passing out on the table before the party was even halfway over.

Azuma and Tsumugi stood off to the side, enjoying the vibes rather than being directly involved in any of the partying. They had been a trio until Tasuku had noticed an opening, a chance to talk to you smoothly rather than abruptly butting in and demanding your attention.

“I think I said the wrong thing.”

“What could you have said that love can’t repair?” Azuma had asked quite playfully, not necessarily thinking those words were true but still having faith that Tasuku couldn’t possibly be that insensitive. But the look on Tsumugi’s face told Tasuku that his childhood friend still knew him best of all.

When Azuma’s face falls, his mouth set in a hard, thin line, Tasuku knew he was in for it. As the adults at the dorm their conversations were always nuanced; they knew humans had faults, that slights could be seen from a different angle and take on a whole new meaning, there were endless words of wisdom shared when they spent time together. But wrong was wrong. He had said the one thing he knew would hurt you most, he had pulled the rug out from under you and attacked the thing you were most self-conscious about.

Tasuku remembered, as he sat across from you now, a moment that had happened nearly a year ago now; he remembered it as if it happened yesterday. The way you had collapsed into his arms, gripping his shirt like it was the only thing that could anchor you, tears soaking you both. He could hardly make out what you were saying in the moment so rather than come up with some thoughtless response he had held you, hand rubbing your back reminding you that you were here and real and safe.

Later, when he thought about it, he managed to piece your teary mumbled sentences together.

‘You left me.’

He had never done such a thing in reality, so the only conclusion he could come to was that it was a bad dream. It was silly to cry over something that wasn’t real, and he might have even said that if he didn’t see firsthand how it hurt you. How deeply did you feel for him that you’d have a reaction like that? How scared were you that he’d leave with no hesitation? He didn’t know the answer to those questions. He didn’t know how he’d react either.

“Do you think they’ll talk to him?”

“I wouldn’t,” Azuma responded smoothly, the easy smile that remained on his face nearly making Tsumugi let out a nervous laugh, “Personally, I’d let him mull it over a bit longer.”

“…I don’t think he realized how much it would…” Tasuku had hurt Tsumugi once before too, with thoughtless words and actions; it had been shown they both needed to grow in the long run. And he was sure the same was true for you two as well.

To grow as a couple, Tasuku would need to be more vulnerable and you…would need to place more trust in him. That might not be easy after tonight but…

Tsumugi had seen firsthand the deep look of concentration on Tasuku’s face after ‘the incident’, something Tasuku had mentioned so casually that Tsumugi nearly fell over from shock. Romance had never been an issue for either one of them, they never gossiped or had late night talks about crushes that had them giggling or kicking their feet but that night Tasuku had talked about you at length.

They had both laid down in their respective beds, staring up at the dark ceiling of the room, sharing a whispered conversation just for them. It had started with memories, new and old, then to how they’d changed yet still stayed the same. Tasuku had paused when they talked about everyone they’d met since joining Mankai, how these new people taught them both something in one way or another. Tsumugi had been the one to bring up your name, very much on purpose, thinking back to the moment Tasuku had dropped on him without expanding on it earlier.

“I think I…” He trailed off, never giving his roommate an answer before nodding off.

Tsumugi couldn’t help but quietly laugh to himself.

“Good for you.”

After explaining what had happened that night there weren’t many solutions they could come up with; Azuma seemed to think giving you space was a bad idea, that even if you looked away at first it was clear you wanted to talk. Tsumugi had to take into account how Tasuku would react, studying his best friends face.

This was something that was weighing on him.

It was proof enough that Tasuku hadn’t meant what he said.

“Take it back,” Tsumugi offered up simply, “Tell them you made a mistake and take back what you said.”

“…This isn’t some schoolyard bullying or something,” Tasuku had grumbled out, but he seemed to think about it. Azuma shared a raised eyebrow look with Tsumugi but before much else could be said, Tasuku had disappeared and then reappeared at the island you had placed yourself on.

Where now it was the two of you, with nowhere else to go.

Man, you wished your legs worked.

“…There’s something I’ve always been curious about.” You want to shut up but you can’t find it in you, the liquid courage (or stupidity) refusing to let you be silent any longer. “That night we first kissed… I know you were in the moment. But was it… was it you that wanted to kiss me? Really you? Or was it just another role taken too far?”

His roles were him. He became the character written on the page, emulated them in every way he could, even taking the mundane way they might live daily life and incorporating it into the exciting events of the actual story the audience would see. There were little parts of him in each character just like each character gave a little part to him, a love letter from screenwriter to actor and from actor to audience. He had never thought about that moment as him just playing a part because he had always been there, present in the moment, so painfully aware of the tension between you.

Was that something his character would have done truly? Or had Tasuku been so overwhelmed by his own passions that he had acted out and taken advantage of a situation that set the two of you so close together?

You’re sorry that you asked, sorry that you have to sit here with your own assumptions as he took far too long to answer what you thought was a simple question. He suddenly reached out to touch you, hand over top of yours, direct eye contact that you couldn’t hold.

“It was me.”

“Are you sure about that? Wouldn’t that just be admitting you weren’t playing the role as thoroughly as you could’ve been?”

He let out an annoyed huff, but his answer didn’t change.

“It was me.”

“…I want to go home, Tasuku. I want to go home and talk some more. But you’re not allowed to break up with me.” He looked a little bewildered at your direct statement, but it began to dawn on you… Had he never even considered it? Despite what he had said to you over a silly little difference in opinion, that maybe you shouldn’t be together, had he not overthought what he said and turned it around in his mind a million times? Had it just been an accidental frustrated slip?

“I don’t plan on it,” He responded coolly, “I should get you home. I don’t think you can walk out of here in one piece.”

“You’re most certainly correct.” You take another sip from your wine. “You’re going to explain to me every single little thought in your head tonight, and you’re gonna make me understand… what that was all about, okay? And we’re going to actually talk and you’re not going to get grumpy and walk away because you don’t know how to explain your emotions.”

Tasuku sighed, glancing over briefly at Azuma and Tsumugi who smoothly turned their heads to pretend they hadn’t been overseeing him like he was their toddler apologizing to a teacher for acting out.

“I’ll do my best,” He finally muttered, “Just let me take you home so we can be alone.”

“Okay.”

He had agreed to go to the wedding because his mother hardly had the chance to get out of the house these days, and she seemed excited to pick out a new dress. There was something conspiratorial about her attitude but he assumed it might have to do with flirting with other men, and that was not a topic he was about to breach with her. He’d take her, make sure she was safe, and then when she was ready to leave he would escort her home. Conveniently enough it was on one of his free weekends so all he had to do was get his suit cleaned and he was ready for a wedding.

With his mother on his arm he found himself seated at a table, keeping to himself and engaging in polite conversation only when he was approached. His mother was a little friendlier as these were people and families she knew well, smiling, laughing, joking, it made him happy to see her so relaxed. He had quick flashes to the past where they had struggled but he quickly brushed them aside, knowing he had to continue looking forward.

He didn’t think anything of the action at first but he swore he saw his mother switch some papers around when she had stood up to greet yet another old friend, but he had brushed it off as simply being a napkin. Sakyo’s head had been turned as he listened to a group nearby talking about theatre but a familiar scent hit him head-on, his head turning back to his table where his mother was enthusiastically greeting…

You.

It had been years this point since he had last seen you but your beauty hadn’t dimmed a bit, there was still this soft glow about you that made you the center of his attention. You wore an easy smile as you brought his mother into a hug, asking a few simple questions here and there about what she had been up to. You were as painfully aware of him as he was of you and yet you both said nothing to acknowledge each other, not until his mother pointed him out very clearly.

“Surely you remember my son.”

“Hard to forget,” You smiled at her, then him briefly, before your eyes settled on the table. “It’s nice to see you again, Sakyo. I heard everything is going well with your theatre company?”

“…Yes, we’ve actually managed to turn a profit.”  You have to fight back the giggle, politely covering your mouth to hide your too wide smile.

“Still focused on money, I see. How about having fun? Are you enjoying being on stage?”

The way you had poised the conversation at first made it seem like you knew nothing of Mankai, that his last few years were a mystery to you, but if you knew he was actually part of a troupe… His eyes met yours and you found yourself weak in the knees, swallowing nervously and glancing down at the table again.

“Your name is at our table, dear, so please sit, join us. I’ll get us drinks.”

“I can get them—”

“No, you won’t.” His mother fixed him with a firm look that told him to sit back in that seat or so help her—

“U-uh, thank you very much. So, Sakyo…” His mother left as Sakyo sat himself back down across from you, trying to keep his cool gaze on you. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“You’ve come to see us.” More of a statement then a question but you figured the jig was up, nodding your head. “I—Which play did you enjoy the most?”

“I liked Ginji the Wanderer,” You leaned forward, clearly recalling the time you had seen it, “I remembered you talking about acting once in awhile but whenever I tried to press you’d just change the subject. I’m glad you’re finally doing something you’re passionate about.”

“I’ve always been…” Sakyo doesn’t know why he was going to lie to you, there was no point to it. You could see through him now just as easily as you could then, the dangerous thought coming to mind that it was like nothing had really changed between you. But things had changed, and there was a distance between you, one that he had himself. “Never mind.”

“Ooh, and you’re less willing to argue? It seems that things have changed with you~” You teased, laughing in a way that made his heart clench. How long had it been since he’d heard that melodic sound? So often when he tried to call back to it, it was quickly replaced with the sound of you sniffling and holding back tears on the other end of a phone line.

What had he just told himself earlier? To stop looking at the past, and to look toward his future?

Sakyo’s eyes met yours again.

“I can get you tickets to our next play, if you want.”

“Free?” He twitched at the word, but…

“Yes.”

“Well how can I deny something free from Mr. Frugal himself! I look forward to it. I hope I get some real VIP treatment~”