Jenlynn

Sometimes healing comes in the flickering candlelight and steaming coffee at three in the morning, or laughter on the face of a dear friend, or moments of stillness and empathy in the presence of one who knows your story in a way no one else does. I used to pray for healing, but now, I pray for the humility to be seen and known and in turn to see and know those around me. Maybe ‘being healed’ is an illusion imposed by a society that values end goals over the process. Maybe there is more to life than getting rid of the suffering and pain and maybe there is beauty to be found in the midst of our darkest moments. Perhaps there is no singular destination to this journey called life, but perhaps the journey is worth it in its own right.

Fortunately, the emotions get easier to live with over time. But they do come in waves and you have to be willing to ride those waves. I used to be terrified of my grief. I saw it as not a gentle wave, but one that could easily overtake me, and if I gave in and felt it, I’d never recover. … So, here’s what I did: I learned to surf. No, not literal waves, but I have learned how to surf emotional waves. I’ve given myself permission to feel. I’ve embraced the grief so that I can embrace the happiness and joy.

“Fortunately, the emotions get easier to live with over time. But they do come in waves and you have to be willing to ride those waves. I used to be terrified of my grief. I saw it as not a gentle wave, but one that could easily overtake me, and if I gave in and felt it, I’d never recover. … So, here’s what I did: I learned to surf. No, not literal waves, but I have learned how to surf emotional waves. I’ve given myself permission to feel. I’ve embraced the grief so that I can embrace the happiness and joy.”

She deserved better

Me looking for our midfield