Love to be Loved .....

I am not…

— Unknown

Speak it into existence.

“Everyone tried to talk me out of it.  They all said: ‘You’ve been together for such a long time.  You have a beautiful life together.  You have a beautiful business.  You should value the things you have.’  But he lied to me.  And whenever I looked at him, all I saw was lies.  I just couldn’t stay married.  But we were bound by so many things.  Our families were close.  We had the same friends.  We went to all the same places.  If I stayed in Havana, we were going to see each other over and over.  I just needed to break away.  So I made the decision to leave.  I almost didn’t get on the plane because I was so scared of starting over.  But when I finally landed in Spain, I said to myself: ‘That’s it.  It’s done.’  The first weeks were easy because I’d been so eager for a fresh start.  But then it all set in.  I was all alone here.  We’d been together since I was seventeen.  For my entire life I had someone supporting me.  Someone I could trust.  And now I had no one.  It felt like I didn’t belong in Spain, but it felt like I didn’t belong in Cuba either.  It’s been two years now.  It’s been a lot of work, but I’m finally in a good place.  I have a new job.  I have new friends.  I’m starting to have a feeling of ‘home.’  It’s still difficult being away from my family, but I think I made the right decision.  These last two years I’ve gone through everything on my own: the happy moments, the sad moments, the painful moments.  And I’m feeling fine.  I’ve learned that I can face life by myself.”   (Madrid, Spain)

— Charles Bukowski