Come Back To Reality

man finds out local aquarium stores can order an octopus for you and decides to get one for his son who loves octopuses

they do tons of research and cycle a tank for a month, etc.

octopus arrives and instead of, like, an adolescent, is a full-grown adult octopus

they have to emergency purchase a larger tank

after 2 months, the octopus lays eggs, which for this species indicates she's close to the end of her life

octopus will not leave eggs but will eat if they hand her stuff

they know they've got about 6-8 more weeks bc that is octopus egg incubation period

she has laid fifty (50) eggs

eggs are presumably not fertilized

this species of octopus is very hard to breed in captivity, even for professionals

you can see where this is going

eggs start hatching

there are FIFTY (50) eggs

they have to monitor the tank CONSTANTLY bc baby octopus will hide/camouflage against the rocks and die and they are small enough to get sucked into the filtration system

there are FIFTY (50) eggs

at first it is 1-2 at a time so it is manageable. they are in perforated soda bottles. it's fine

then one night SIXTEEN (16) hatch SIMULTANEOUSLY in the middle of the night which (as of this afternoon) brings them to i believe 23

there are FIFTY (50) eggs

have i mentioned this is the family's FIRST EVER PET

the dad is contacting marine biology programs, aquariums, research facilities, etc. to find SOMEONE who will take some of these baby octopuses

NO ONE WILL TAKE THEM

THERE ARE FIFTY (50) EGGS

this is genuinely one of the funniest sagas i have ever followed in real time (though i don't actually know what the timeline is since the account has only been posting since the beginning of march and this has been going on for probably at least 6 months), please go watch it