ᖭི༏ᖫྀ

You’re curled up on the couch in just an oversized tee and panties when Ellie drops down beside you with the joint already lit. The apartment smells like weed and the caramel scented candle you lit earlier. She’s in an old tank top and boxers, eyes already a little glassy, that lazy, hungry smile tugging at her mouth.

“Look at you,” she says, voice low and rough as she looks you over. “All soft and easy for me already. C’mere.”

You giggle as you crawl into her lap. She cups your jaw, thumb stroking your bottom lip, and brings the joint to your mouth.

“Open up. Inhale for me.”

You do. The smoke fills your lungs, warm and thick. She takes the next hit herself, then leans in and presses her mouth to yours, exhaling slowly so it slips between your lips. You breathe it in, already feeling the edges of the world go soft, a soft moan leaving your lips at the intimacy of it.

She does it again. And again. Until your head is floating and your limbs feel heavy and sweet.

“There we go,” she murmurs against your mouth, smiling lazy. “All floaty and stupid for me already. You like that?”

You nod, slow. She hums, pleased, and tugs the tee up and off, tossing it aside. You’re left in just your panties. Ellie looks at you for a long second, eyes dark and heavy-lidded, before leaning down to mouth at your neck, your collarbone, the soft skin of your breasts.

“Feel good?” she asks between kisses. You make a soft sound and nod. She chuckles, low and mean. “Yeah. Look at you. Can’t even think straight already. Perfect.”

She takes your panties off slowly, then sits back, looking at you all bare and dazed in her lap.

“Stay right here,” she says, gently lifting you and placing you back on the couch, voice thick with her high. “Don’t move.”

She stands and disappears down the hall for a minute. You hear the soft clink of the harness, the sound of her adjusting the straps, you squeeze your thighs together as a fresh wave of wetness coats your pussy. When she comes back your heavy eyes practically roll to the back of your head at the sight of the thick cock between her legs. She drops back onto the couch, pulls you into her lap again, and guides your hand to the toy.

“Feel that?” she asks, voice rough. “Gonna put this in you. Nice and slow. You want it?”

“Yes,” you breathe, already a little gone.

She nods, presses a messy kiss to your mouth, then lays you on your back, hovering over you as she guides the thick head against your entrance. “Gonna fuck you stupid. Tell me if you need me to stop.”

She pushes in gradually, one long, steady slide that makes your mouth fall open on a broken moan. The stretch is perfect, the pressure almost too much and not enough at the same time. She bottoms out and just stays there, grinding in tiny circles, hands stroking your sides, your breasts, your throat.

“Fuck,” she breathes, forehead dropping to yours. “You’re so tight.”

She starts moving, slow, deep, rolling thrusts that drag the toy over every sensitive spot inside you. Every stroke feels heavier than usual, like it’s sinking straight into your spine. Your thoughts are already scattering.

“That’s it,” she coos, lips brushing yours. “Just take it. Don’t have to think. Don’t have to do anything but feel how full you are.”

She keeps the pace deliberate, almost lazy, hips rolling in a steady rhythm that never speeds up. One hand finds your clit, rubbing slow circles in time with her thrusts. The other cups your breast, thumb flicking your nipple every time she sinks in deep. The sensations make your eyes roll back. You’re dripping down the toy, down her hips, making everything wet and filthy.

“Look at you,” she murmurs, voice soft and mean. “All dumb and drooling on my cock. Brain’s gone, huh? Just a soft little hole for me to use.”

You nod again, helpless, mouth open. She leans down and kisses you messy, tongues sliding slow, both of you high and greedy for it. Every time she bottoms out she grinds hard, pressing against that spot that makes stars burst behind your eyes.

“Good girl,” she breathes. “Just stay like this. Soft. Empty. Let me fuck you stupid.”

She keeps going for what feels like forever, long, deep strokes that never rush, just fill and drag and fill again. Your thoughts dissolve completely. There’s only the thick stretch of her inside you, the slow rub on your clit, the way her mouth keeps finding your nipples to suck and bite. You’re moaning constantly now, soft and broken, words reduced to “please” and “more” and “Ellie” that don’t even sound like real language anymore.

When you finally come it’s slow and devastating, rolling through you in heavy waves that make your whole body seize and shake. She fucks you through it without ever speeding up, whispering filthy praise against your ear the whole time.

“That’s it. Come on my cock like a good dumb baby. So pretty when you’re all fucked out.”

She follows soon after, hips stuttering as she grinds deep and stays there, panting against your neck, both of you high and sweaty and completely wrecked.

After, she doesn’t pull out right away. Just stays buried inside you, lazy kisses pressed to your temple, one hand stroking your hair while the high keeps you both floaty and soft.

“My perfect baby,” she murmurs, smiling against your skin. “Gonna keep you like this all night.”

She stays buried inside you for a long minute after, both of you high and breathing hard, her forehead pressed to yours. Then she slowly pulls out, the thick toy sliding free with a wet sound that makes you whimper. You’re still twitching, cunt clenching around nothing, completely fucked stupid and floating.

Ellie kisses the corner of your mouth, voice low and rough.

“Not done with you yet baby.”

She shifts down the couch, pushing your thighs wider with her hands. You’re so sensitive that even the air feels like too much. When she leans in and drags her tongue through your soaked folds, your whole body jerks.

“Mmph- Ellie-”

“Shh,” she murmurs against you, already licking again, slow and filthy. “Just take it. You’re all messy for me. Wanna taste how fucked out you are.”

She flattens her tongue and drags it up over your swollen clit, then does it again, and again, steady and relentless. You’re overstimulated and high as hell, every nerve ending lit up and screaming. It borders on too much, sharp, electric, almost painful, but it feels so good you can’t stop pushing into her mouth.

“Fuck, you’re sensitive,” she breathes, sounding wrecked and pleased. “Look at you. Can’t even stay still. Just a trembling little mess.”

She sucks your clit into her mouth and your back arches hard off the couch. A broken sob tears out of you. Your hands fist in her hair, not pulling her away, just holding on because you need something to ground you while your brain short circuits all over again.

“That’s it,” she coos between licks, voice thick with the high. “Cry for me. You’re so pretty when you’re overstimulated and needy. My good dumb girl.”

She keeps going, slow, thorough, mean in the best way, alternating between long flat strokes and tight little sucks that make your thighs shake violently around her head. You’re babbling nonsense now, high and overstimulated and loving every second of it as another orgasm starts building way too soon.

“Ellie- it’s- it’s too much-”

“I know,” she says, soft and filthy against your cunt. “But you’re gonna come on my tongue like the sweet girl you are.”

She seals her mouth over your clit and sucks hard, two fingers sliding back inside you at the same time, and you shatter. The orgasm hits sharp and overwhelming, ripping through your already wrecked body until you’re sobbing and shaking and trying to twist away even as your hips keep grinding against her face.

Ellie doesn’t stop. She just holds you down and licks you through it, gentle now but still relentless, until you’re completely limp and twitching and high out of your mind.

Only then does she crawl back up, kissing your cheeks, your open mouth, tasting like you and weed and satisfaction.

“Perfect,” she murmurs against your lips, voice soft and proud. “My perfect girl. So fucking good for me.”

Though, if you were having trouble sleeping, then surely… 

Being as careful and as quiet as possible, you maneuvered your body out of your sleeping bag without causing the material to rustle too much. You left your phone in favor of grabbing the flashlight that had been beside your pillow, and gathered up one of the quilts that you had been curled up with. Stepping carefully over Dina’s legs, you unzipped the tent flap extremely slowly so as to not stir your friend from her sleep. You grabbed your shoes at the last second before quietly stepping out of the tent, repeating the cautious zipping movements. 

Once free, you exhaled in relief. The air was fresh and chilled, the sky dark and filled with stars. You didn’t have to turn your flashlight on, because you had already managed to spot a familiar form sitting just several feet away. 

You dropped your shoes to the ground, slipping your feet inside of them as you continued to hold the quilt and flashlight in your arms. “Couldn’t sleep?” 

Ellie didn’t startle at the sound of your voice. You could just barely make out her shrug, your lips curving upward after witnessing even the slightest bit of movement from your best friend. Every little thing that Ellie did, it was like both your body and mind were attuned to it. 

“Not next to fuckin’ Jesse,” Ellie scoffed, though her tone lacked malice. It was a gentle ribbing, despite the person in question being asleep, tucked into the second tent that currently occupied their reserved space of the Earth. 

You hummed in response, trudging carefully through the grass and stepping over sticks until you made it to Ellie’s side. Her head was tilted slightly up, gaze fixated upon the sky of bright, twinkling stars. Your fingers clutched the quilt a little tighter as you resisted the urge to reach out and brush some strands of auburn away from Ellie’s face, despite how endearing you thought it looked whenever her hair was like that. 

“You okay?” You murmured, standing next to where Ellie was sitting. “Just awake, or…?”

“Just awake,” Ellie answered softly. 

Ellie was on a blanket, sitting cross-legged with her shoulders slightly hunched. She was in pajamas too, faded blue pants with a hoodie thrown over whatever t-shirt she was most likely wearing. The hoodie was one that she’d had longer than the length of your friendship. 

“You down for company?” you asked quietly. You didn’t want your voice to carry, didn’t want to risk it reaching Jesse or Dina in the respective tents. It also felt impossible to speak normally due to the current atmosphere, like it would be insulting to the world to disturb whatever tranquil thing the wildlife and the stars had going on during this time of the night.  

Ellie wrinkled her nose. “Nah,” she muttered. “Go back to your tent.” Her head turned, a crooked smile tugging on her lips as she looked up at you. 

You returned her smile easily, like the silent exchange between the two of you was the most instinctive, natural thing your body had ever done. Then, you forced yourself to roll your eyes. 

“Always so welcoming, you are,” you quipped dryly. “Scoot.” 

Your instruction was an unnecessary one to leave your lips, because Ellie had already started to shift to make room for you the very second that you had smiled down at her. You plopped next to her on the blanket, setting the flashlight to the side on the ground. You unrolled the quilt, tucking it over both of your laps. 

“Aren’t you cold?” you asked, reaching over Ellie to make sure that her pajama pant clad legs were entirely covered. 

In response, Ellie offered another small shrug. “Yeah. But the stars.” 

“But the stars,” you acquiesced. 

Ellie turned her gaze back to the inky sky, her body aware of the familiar warmth of your own at her side. She breathed out, feeling like something within her bones relaxed at the very feeling of it. Your proximity had the same impact as a security blanket or a nightlight, though Ellie seldom spoke of it. The pages of her journal were aware, however–as well as just about anyone that witnessed Ellie merely being in your company. 

It had been a slow, steady thing… the way with which Ellie had found herself at ease while around you. Curse her heart for how comfortability had bled into something more–for how her thoughts managed to run away from her despite her endless attempts to clamp down on them. 

“Have you been out here for long?” 

“Dunno,” Ellie mumbled, a faint crease appearing between her brows. 

“I tried texting you a bit ago, but there’s no fucking service,” you said, keeping your tone soft. Yes, it was quiet, and you didn’t want to disturb anything. But, truthfully, even if you were somewhere different–much louder, during the day maybe–you still would’ve kept your tone the same. There was just something about being around Ellie that made you soften. Like every moment, every interaction was precious. “Figured you’d be up. I was scared to leave the tent and wake Dina up, though.” 

“Did she wake up?” Ellie asked, her gaze shifting to flicker over your features. Ellie loved Dina, of course she did, but she also… deep down, would prefer that this very moment stayed as it was at the current second. Just the two of you. 

You shook your head, a small smile curving on your lips. “No. Out like a light.” 

Ellie huffed out a short breath, almost instantly changing her mind about her previous thought. She did value the time alone that the two of you spent together–always did–but ever since a couple of weeks ago, it had been harder to keep herself and her thoughts in check. 

Not that she had a choice but to deal now, anyway. It was just the two of you, and the stars.

“Same as Jesse,” Ellie finally muttered, dropping her attention to her hands in her lap. “Didn’t realize he’d turn into fuckin’ Mr. Wilderness out here. Tired himself out.” 

A sound of amusement escaped you at Ellie’s words, causing her lips to twitch upward. 

“Kinda wish we were sharing a tent,” you attempted, tilting your head to the side as you looked at her. 

Ellie idly pulled at her middle and index finger, frowning down at her hands. “...Yeah,” she huffed. 

It would’ve been nice–the two of you–like how things often fell to be. But maybe the tent separation was actually a good thing. At least, that’s what Ellie had been trying to tell herself. 

Because it really had been harder for Ellie to keep herself in check as of late. There had been no big, monumental moment that suddenly altered her ability to play it somewhat cool. It had just been a sleepover. A sleepover like the kind that you always had, sharing a bed or a couch or even a floor space, sometimes. But a couple weeks ago, the two of you had woken up differently. Ellie had stayed over at your place after a movie night had run later than expected–no big deal. When she had woken up, though… your leg had been thrown over her. Your arm had been stretched across Ellie’s stomach, and you had been pressed right against her side. Just… existing. Sleeping. 

It hadn’t made Ellie want to laugh. It hadn’t made her want to pull away from embarrassment, or joke about it when you had woken up. No. The simple weight of your limbs against Ellie’s body was quite literally the most comfortable thing she had ever felt. And that made her panic. 

It had startled her, genuinely, how her fingers had twitched–wanting to instinctively skim down your back, or even the expanse of your leg. The urge to wrap her arm around the form of another had never hit Ellie so hard in her life. You had been soft with sleep, warm and cozy against her in a way that Ellie didn’t know how to compartmentalize. 

So maybe it was okay that you hadn’t shared a tent on this camping trip, because Ellie wasn’t sure how she would be able to handle being in such a close proximity to you during sleep, without her body naturally seeking you out after experiencing it just once before–because that once was enough to send signals throughout Ellie’s body and mind that she wanted, she wanted and she missed and she needed. 

But Ellie didn’t like wanting things much. Didn’t like the feeling of needing. She never wanted to be greedy. 

That morning, Ellie had been frozen. Tried to go back to sleep, and then instead settled for pretending like she still was asleep. You had both “woken” up at the same time, giving soft, awkward laughs as you rolled apart. That had been it. 

Surely it was a common experience for pairs of friends everywhere. But not every person had a heart that would beat for their friend in the same exact way that Ellie’s heart would beat for you.  

“They were being super fucking normal today though,” you said. “Jesse and Dina.” 

The two had broken up–again–just under three weeks ago. The plan originally had been for you and Ellie to share a tent, until the breakup happened–which is why you were with Dina, and Ellie was with Jesse. 

The whole day, however, Dina and Jesse had been fine. More than fine, really. They had been joking around and laughing together while helping to set up the tents, and had sat together while the fire dwindled in the late evening. 

A soft scoff fell from Ellie’s lips as she twisted her fingers. “They’ll be back together by the end of the week,” she muttered, lips twitching upward as she shot you a sidelong glance. 

You returned Ellie’s smile easily, heart thumping at the quick eye contact. “Can’t bet against that.” 

Ellie’s smile lingered, even as her eyes shifted away from your face. She glanced elsewhere–anywhere–from her fingers, to the stars. She was too aware of you at her side, knees bumping comfortably. Separated by two layers, your pajama pants and her own, though Ellie could very much feel the warmth of your body at her side from the proximity. She swallowed hard, tugging at her fingers a little more incessantly. 

“That’s not what you’re out here thinking about, though,” you attempted softly. Your head was still turned, never leaving Ellie’s side profile. 

“Huh?” 

“Jesse and Dina’s relationship timeline. Is that what you’re pondering while looking at the stars, or…?” 

“Fuck off,” Ellie huffed, nudging her elbow against your arm. 

You bit back a grin, entirely pleased with any reaction from Ellie, even if it was just her feigning annoyance. “Do you think Joel’s called for a search party yet?” 

Ellie snorted, raising a hand to rub at her eye. It was hard for her to think–or turn her brain off, she wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted–when you were just… sitting so close and verbally throwing things at her. But Ellie didn’t actually mind, either. 

“God, don’t make me think about that,” Ellie muttered, her hand leaving her eye in favor of moving to the back of her neck. She never was very good at sitting still. 

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” you admitted, voice soft yet laced with a hint of amusement. “I almost keep expecting to see his truck pulling up the path.” 

 Dropping both hands back to her lap, Ellie ducked her head and shook it at your words. You had a point though, she knew that. She really had been trying not to think about Joel–how he must be at home, pacing holes in the living room carpet and checking his phone for a text that wouldn’t arrive. 

In Ellie’s defense, she had called during the last gas station stop, before they all lost service. And yet, she knew that Joel would probably stress himself out throughout the weekend… until Ellie, Jesse, Dina, and yourself would be headed back for Jackson and able to call and confirm their whereabouts once more. 

Typically, the summer camping trip consisted of Joel, Tommy, and Ellie. Sometimes Maria. Sometimes you. This year, however, Joel had the idea for Ellie to go with her friends. Well–Tommy had the idea for Ellie to go with her friends, to which he convinced Joel to be somewhat okay with the concept. 

“He’s probably watching the news just in case,” Ellie huffed with dry amusement. 

You quirked a small smile, reaching over to idly adjust the quilt across your laps. Ellie stayed still as you did so, forcing her attention back to the stars. They were the safer thing to pay attention to, as opposed to how careful you were being when trying to make sure that Ellie wouldn’t get cold. Placing an elbow on your leg, you rested your cheek in your palm to peer comfortably at Ellie. Ellie’s eyes remained stubbornly up. 

A brief silence settled–not amongst nature, but between yourself and Ellie. The sight of the stars was gorgeous in Wyoming, especially so far out from any populated town. You admired the sky momentarily, but your eyes always fell back to the side of Ellie’s face. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” you attempted quietly, your tone lighthearted. 

“Pffft.” Legs spread, Ellie drew her knees up toward her chest, pulling her legs out from under the quilt. She rested her elbows upon her knees, her position a lot more casual than she felt internally. Her hands dangled in the space between her legs, and she grasped her own fingers to fidget once more. Ellie squinted at the stars, a crease appearing between her eyebrows. “You know some low-mass stars will end up shining for, like, trillions of years?” 

Immediately, you softened. Whether Ellie was telling you that because it was actually what she was thinking about, or to distract you… the why didn’t matter, because it was still something that she found to be interesting and was sharing with you. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah. They’ll shine longer than the universe has existed so far.” 

“So the low-mass is…?” 

“Determines supply usage, basically. The gas is fuel. Since low-mass stars don’t burn through their supply as rapidly–” 

“They get to shine for longer.” 

“Exactly,” Ellie breathed out. 

You hummed, tilting your head back to peer at the stars. You always appreciated them, but you could get a little more lost in the beauty of it all when Ellie was right there, talking to you about it. “You know what always trips me up?” 

“Your feet?” 

“Ha ha. No,” you replied dryly. You stretched your legs out in front of you. “The whole thing about, like… looking at the stars being like looking back in time.” 

“Oh. Yeah,” Ellie muttered, sparing you a quick glance. “Because of the light. The time it takes light to move through space. Like we’re seeing it at a delay.” 

You knew the fact of it, but you listened intently anyway. “Still trippy,” you murmured. “Like, to wrap my mind around.” 

“Yeah. I guess it is. I think it’s pretty cool, though,” Ellie replied softly, the casual enthusiasm evident within her tone. 

“It is cool. Like a little picture in time.” You adjusted slightly, shifting one of your legs to be beneath where Ellie’s were drawn up. 

Ellie’s gaze flickered down at your shift, but she didn’t move or angle her legs away. It did float the memory back through her mind, the one of the sleepover that she had been trying to mentally avoid. It was so easy for you to just… be in her space. Not that Ellie minded–because really, she didn’t. She liked it a little too much, though, and that was the problem. She could never really pull away from you, even when she probably should. 

“We should take one of our own,” you mused, head tilting. 

“You have your phone?” 

“No. Not, like, an actual picture with a camera. But like… our own little moment in time.” 

Ellie blinked at you, one corner of her mouth lifting begrudgingly. “For…?” 

“For us. For the stars,” you enthused softly, leaning into her side to bump her arm with your own. 

Scoffing, Ellie’s gaze flickered over your features. “You’re so weird,” she whispered, smile growing despite herself. 

“Shut up. Come on, it’s cute. Our own little moment with the stars. Past and present, and whatever. Here.” You shifted closer to Ellie’s side, leaning your cheek against her shoulder as you tilted your head upward. 

“What’re you–” 

“Just smile. For the stars,” you answered simply before grinning right up at the sky, as if someone up above were to take a snapshot of that very moment. 

Cheeks blooming red but disguised by the darkness, Ellie copied your expression with less confidence. Her smile was faint but real, eyes locked on the stars even though her senses were in overdrive due to your comfortable proximity. Ellie leaned a bit into your touch, practically holding her breath at the feeling of your cheek squished against her shoulder. Even through the material of her hoodie, it was close enough contact for Ellie to wonder if all this closeness was just… easy for you. Like you didn’t think about it in the same way that she did. 

You both grinned at the stars, until a small sound of satisfaction fell from your lips. “I think that was perfect,” you said, reluctantly pulling away from Ellie’s side. 

“Yeah,” Ellie muttered, swallowing thickly as she watched. “Perfect.” 

 Your eyes locked–same as always, in a way that was to be expected when spending so much time with someone, and sharing so many moments with them. Ellie’s eyes were probably your favorite thing in the world to look at–aside from her cheeks, her nose, and the freckles that followed the curves of her shoulders–but with this very moment, you felt a strange urge to pull your gaze away from her own. 

It was an odd sort of shyness–the same one that had been clouding you since the sleepover, where you had been too tired and too cozy to try and force yourself to have some sort of strict boundary in your sleep. Sitting with Ellie under the stars now gave you the same weird twist in your stomach that you had gotten then, and had gotten earlier in the evening, too. The four of you had been making s’mores, and you had accidentally watched just a little too intently as Ellie had licked melted marshmallow goo off of her fingers. 

You were so hopelessly captivated by and fond of every little thing about Ellie’s being… more often than not, it felt as though your heart was trying to run away from you and instead head straight to her. 

Normally, you were the one that was better about holding eye contact in the friendship between yourself and Ellie. But you forced your gaze away, letting your arm press against her own instead. 

“Tell me more about your stars,” you said. 

“My stars,” Ellie replied with a breathy chuckle. She shifted to sit cross-legged again, and you pulled your leg out from under her own. “Uh. I really like that we can see the constellations out here. Like, perfectly. You know there’s seasonal ones? Based on the celestial hemisphere, and… Okay, there’s like, the different latitudes that are best for observing. I have that book at home, the one that–” 

“How many actually are there? Constellations.” 

“Eighty-eight.” 

“Right.” 

Ellie continued on, naming off constellations that she’s seen, and ones that she wished to see. You listened–of course you did–but your visual focus was set steadily upon Ellie’s side profile. The way in which her mouth curved and twitched as she spoke. How her eyebrows tended to pull together as she explained. She always did this little head tilt thing while she was talking, you were enamored with it. 

“I mean, seriously,” Ellie continued quietly, gesturing vaguely at the sky with her hand. “Look at that. It’s incredible.” 

“Yeah,” you muttered, brows knitting together as your gaze moved slowly over her features. It was so dark, but you could see her freckles from how close you were. The little auburn wisps of her hair that never stayed pulled back. How her cheeks curved when she smiled. “It’s really fucking pretty,” you continued, voice soft with affection that was so strong, it nearly felt painful. 

If she were a worse person, maybe the ache of longing would kill you. But it was Ellie–your Ellie–so you leaned into the feeling as if it were a safety net. 

Ellie turned her head to look at you, her expression of concentration shifting into one of confusion. “What?” 

You swallowed. “Nothing. Just listening.” 

“Are you?” 

“Yes, Ellie. I always listen when you talk.” 

You did. Ellie knew that. You remembered things about her that sometimes she didn’t even remember. You remembered the things that she would mention only once or twice in passing. You remembered things in great detail, even. It impacted Ellie in ways that she wished she didn’t have to acknowledge. 

“...Yeah. Yeah. I guess you do,” Ellie mumbled. 

“You guess?” 

“Shut up.” 

“You shut up. Look at the stars. Stop.” 

Ellie blinked. Swallowed. Look at the stars, you had said–and yeah, Ellie had been. And she should turn her head right back and stare at them some more… but your gaze was boring into her own, and in a weird way, she kind of was looking at the stars, because your eyes might as well have been up there with those celestial objects due to how mesmerizing Ellie always found them to be. Your eyes. And the stars. 

“I am,” Ellie managed, swallowing once more.  

You had meant it as a physical joke, had wanted to be funny with the way in which you had lifted a hand to Ellie’s face, gently grasping her chin to turn her face away from your own. With your fingers pressing delicately against the warmth of Ellie’s cheeks, however, you found yourself wanting to linger. 

Ellie gave a tiny jerk of her chin, almost like she wasn’t sure whether to pull away or lean into the touch. Your thumb gingerly followed the round of Ellie’s cheek before dipping down to her chin. You gave a small tweak to her chin while scrunching your nose–an attempt at playfulness to spite the hammering of your heart. Then you dropped your hand. 

Ellie attempted to clear her throat, the sound more awkward than not. “You’re so touchy,” she mumbled, one corner of her mouth lifting slightly as she averted her gaze. It was a lighthearted observation, but also a callback in a poor disguise. To the sleepover. The sleeping position that could’ve been a casual thing except for the fact that Ellie hadn’t been able to shake it. 

“Am not,” you mumbled in defense, reaching to fidget with the quilt that wasn’t covering either of your laps now. 

Ellie didn’t know what to make of that. So she continued. “You just had your fingers all over my–” 

“You exaggerate so much.” 

Ellie didn’t know what to make of that, either. Maybe she was exaggerating things. Overthinking. Wanting things to mean more than they actually did. “Coming from you?”

“Yeah, coming from me,” you responded easily, despite the warmth of your cheeks. “I’m an expert, apparently, so I should know.” 

Ellie snorted at that, rolling her eyes. “What is wrong with you?” 

You copied her eye roll. “If you don’t want me to touch you, then–” 

“I didn’t say that,” Ellie mumbled, blinking down at the ground at how the words had sounded upon leaving her lips. She had meant to do a dry retort–to just brush off your comment. I didn’t say that, she had wanted to say with a scoff. But it had instead sounded much too fucking soft. Too honest–like yeah, Ellie really didn’t fucking mind if you touched her. She preferred it, unfortunately, and that very thought made her want to trek into the woods and not come back out. 

The two of you weren’t stupid–just anxious. Oblivious, maybe, regarding the extent of affection from one person to another. You were both very evidently talking around something, that much you were able to recognize. You knew what it was–of course you did. There had only been one thing that had made your friendship feel slightly off as of late–one very tiny, stupid thing. 

You could brush it off. Make a joke and change the topic. Both of you were seemingly good at that. 

Or you could take the plunge. With the stars and the dark and the loud cicadas, you could take the plunge. If the conversation failed you, you would not have to fret. Ellie would save face for you, you knew that much. Your best friend would sooner wave something off awkwardly than try to make you feel bad for it.  

“I’m glad you’re not mad at me,” you muttered, your shoulders rising and falling as you took a deep breath. “I was worried, for like, a minute that–” 

“Mad at you?” Ellie questioned, her eyebrows pulling together as her gaze searched your face. Your words had gotten her attention quickly–not that you ever didn’t have Ellie’s attention. “Why would I ever be– When?” 

You really were doing this now, apparently. Plunging. 

“Couple weeks ago,” you mumbled, shifting to fully face your body toward Ellie, going cross-legged once again. “When we– It’s so beyond stupid, I know. But, I don’t know. I guess I was, like… overly paranoid that maybe I made you uncomfortable or things got weird, or–” 

“Hey, no. It’s fine,” Ellie muttered, shrugging her shoulders and shaking her head at the same time. Her volume was quiet, voice smooth and easy despite the way in which her pulse quickened. Maybe she hadn’t really expected you to truly address it, like, ever. But you were, and you sounded genuinely concerned, and it was sort of messing Ellie up. Especially due to the way that your eyes kept darting over her face. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. It’s fine, really.” 

“You mean that?” you asked, eyebrows knitting together as your voice softened. “I know I overthink. But I can’t stand the idea of you potentially feeling off and not being comfortable to tell me, or like, if I crossed a–” 

“I’m not uncomfortable. I wasn’t. I didn’t…” Ellie bit the inside of her cheek, tugging idly at her middle finger as she struggled to throw some coherent words together. “I didn’t hate it, or whatever.” 

“You didn’t hate it?” 

Ellie blinked at you, her forehead creasing. She exhaled. “...I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.” 

You blinked back at her, unable to tell if you were teetering at the edge of something or digging yourself into a very deep hole. “You’re not supposed to say anything. I’m just… telling you. Trying to see if–” 

“Did it bother you?” Ellie countered suddenly, tilting her head to the side as if it could help her to better gauge your reaction. “If you’re still on that, and you thought I was mad–” 

“Just because it was different–” 

“Yeah, but I’m telling you, it wasn’t a big deal–” 

“And I don’t think that different necessarily means bad,” you rushed quietly, twisting your hands in your lap. 

Ellie inhaled slowly. Her mind was spinning, heart racing. This definitely was leading into something, she couldn’t play dumb. Despite her own wariness, she couldn’t deny you a conversation if that was what you truly wanted. But Ellie chose her words carefully, still wanting to tread lightly. “Yeah. Yeah, no. It doesn’t mean bad,” she agreed softly. 

You huffed, your cheeks puffing slightly from the action. “I mean, you did basically just say that you didn’t mind if I touched you, so.” Lightheartedness was safe. You were trying. 

“I don’t… think that’s exactly what I said,” Ellie replied, her voice smooth with a feigned nonchalance that she was oddly really good at. 

“Well, I said if you didn’t want me to touch you, and then you interrupted me and went, like, I didn’t say that, so that’s basically–” 

“Impressive short-term memory, dude. Yeah, that just happened.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” you huffed, a wry smile tugging on your lips. It faded too fast, though. You could literally feel it–the way in which your expression melted into something that was much too earnest, but you couldn’t control it. “Ellie. I’m trying to–” 

“Trying to what?” 

You groaned, momentarily squeezing your eyes shut as you tipped your head back. “Can you please just understand? I don’t wanna– Trust your gut. Just, like, say something. Say something real.” 

Trust her gut? Usually Ellie probably did, yeah. But when it came to things like this? Fuck that. 

And yet… 

“You know stars have winds? But they aren’t our kind of wind. They’re like–” 

“Ellie,” you interrupted gently, and then instantly felt guilty for it. “Sorry. I do wanna hear. Tell me in a second. But…” 

You slowly inched your fingers toward her, gingerly nudging the back of your hand against her own. Ellie paused–froze, more like–but she held her breath to listen… giving you the space to figure out what you wanted to say, even if she typically lacked patience. 

“I feel like…” You took a breath, letting your fingers graze against her own before you retreated. Just a little. “There’s stuff that we’re both not saying. And it is kind of driving me crazy, if I’m honest. And if I’m wrong, then tell me I’m wrong, but–” 

“You aren’t. Like, wrong.” The words left Ellie’s mouth without her permission, but now they were out there. Out there between the two of you. Out for the trees and the stars and the owl in the distance to judge. 

The conversation was, realistically, barely anything. But it was still everything. Vague and simple, sure, but Ellie’s verbal confirmation was enough for you. 

“You have to know that I care about you so fucking much,” you managed, your voice hushed. 

And that just about did Ellie in. 

“You have to know,” you continued, emboldened by the night and the comfort of nature draped around you. “There’s no way that you don’t. I feel like I’m obvious. Maybe I’m not. But I can’t tell if you–” 

“What am I supposed to do?” 

“What do you want to do? Do what you want to do,” you muttered, your voice a soft and earnest plea. 

“Fuck,” Ellie breathed out, her green eyes searching your own. She leaned in, just a little, and her heart thumped when you mirrored her instead of pulling back. 

Tentatively, Ellie raised a hand. She allowed it to hover for a moment, before placing it lightly on your shoulder. Her hand lingered, and then it skimmed. For maybe the first time in your entire life, you were completely aware of your own body. Ellie’s hand grazed up the side of your neck before stilling against your cheek. “If you don’t–” 

You leaned in, and Ellie met you halfway. 

Her lips brushed against your own in a way that was soft–trying. They were chapped, warm despite the chill of the air. You took a shuddering breath–or maybe it had been Ellie–and then the kiss ended. 

A slow, careful press of the lips it had been–the pull apart slow, too. You blinked, taking in the sight of Ellie’s face. Her thumb grazed over your cheek twice. A first kiss, so long in the making, with the stars bearing as your witness. 

“That was different,” you attempted, ignoring the way in which your voice hitched with emotion. “But not bad. Like, not bad at all.” 

“No?” Ellie asked, feeling a weird mix between being dazed and overly alert. Her tone was soft, almost bordering on uncertain. 

You shook your head, fingers inching to gently grasp the hem of her hoodie. Just for something to hold–because hoodies were for comfort, and you found comfort within Ellie, so it only made sense. “No,” you murmured, tilting your face just slightly toward her own once more. A silent invitation–kiss me again, if you’d like. I’m right here. I’ll always be right here. 

Clearly, Ellie took note of your signal. She relaxed imperceptibly, your tiny shift being enough to indicate that she didn’t fuck up. If you wanted another kiss, so be it. Ellie could give hundreds. 

“No?” Ellie echoed, this time a little smoother. One corner of her mouth lifted, her gaze flickering over your features. 

“No,” you said again. “Not a bad different.” Your lips twitched in return, your eyes undecided between focusing on her eyes, or her lips. “Good different.” 

Hand still on your cheek, Ellie guided your face back to her own. She kissed you without hesitation this time, lips moving against your own with a steady sort of confidence that could only come from having long-term feelings validated. 

You weren’t even embarrassed about how quickly you melted against her. Your hands fumbled briefly at the hem of your hoodie before you shifted to loop your arms around her neck–anything to keep her warmth close. Lips parted, the kiss deepening–Ellie tasted a hint of mint from your toothpaste and you and your mouth was so warm, she couldn’t possibly give this up for anything. She wouldn’t. 

Her hand stayed steady against your cheek, the touch grounding. Comforting—though everything in the moment genuinely was. Ellie let your tongue slip into her mouth, and your heart soared when she did the same. It didn’t feel messy, or rushed. Just right. 

So right, in fact, that you grinned against her lips and fucked up the rhythm of the kiss. Ellie exhaled a chuckle, and your nose bumped against her own. 

“Do not fucking laugh at me,” you murmured, eyes crinkled shut as your giddy smile lingered. 

Ellie gave a quick peck to the corner of your mouth, kissing exactly where your lips had tugged up. “I’m not. I didn’t.” 

You kissed her cheek in return, silently cursing the dark of the night for disguising the blush that inevitably painted her skin. You could feel it though, the warmth that was there.  

“I do wish we were sharing a tent,” you muttered, circling back to your earlier comment. You opened your eyes to peer at her, but made no effort to pull away. In fact, your arms remained looped around her neck. 

“Complaining,” Ellie remarked, eyebrows quirking upward as she kissed your cheek, and then went for your lips again.

You sighed, lips pecking against Ellie’s a few times. “Not complaining,” you mumbled between short, soft kisses. “Just wishing. Wishing upon a star. Which–” You broke the kiss, just barely, bumping your nose against Ellie’s. “I did want to hear about the wind thing.” 

Ellie made a sound of amusement, which was promptly cut off by you initiating another kiss. You shifted more toward her, Ellie’s form almost starting to lean back before she adjusted. Her hands slid to the back of your head, warm as she held you there. Ellie leaned toward you, one of her knees digging into the blanket covered ground as she dropped a palm down as well to steady herself. You slowly went backward and Ellie followed without breaking the kiss, leaning over you. Your senses buzzed, the quick kisses slowing into something deep. Your fingers laced within her choppy, auburn strands… and you could’ve sworn that Ellie stifled a sigh. 

You went back, back, back–carefully reclining as the warmth of Ellie’s tongue slid against your own. Your back hit the blanket, Ellie’s hands moving to better brace herself… but you instantly inhaled sharply. 

“What?” Ellie rasped, abruptly pulling away from the kiss to scan your face. 

“I went on a fucking stick or something,” you hissed, shooting upwards. Ellie bit back a smile, barely holding back a snort.

Ellie pulled away to let you sit up, her hands hovering. You brushed your trembling hands over your pajamas, shooting Ellie a sidelong glance. Ellie’s chest was rising and falling a bit rapidly, her senses in overdrive. Even so, she rubbed her palm gently over your back, as if to soothe whatever small hurt could’ve potentially been there. You leaned into her touch without thinking about it, the familiarity a strong force even if the type of touch was new. 

“You’re good?” Ellie muttered, fingers twitching over your back–the material of your sweatshirt soft beneath the calloused pads of her fingers. 

You nodded, almost shooting her an incredulous look. “It’s kinda perfect,” you murmured, shifting your gaze to the sky. “Like… this. Being here. The whole night. The stars. They are incredible,” you continued, agreeing with Ellie’s previous statement. 

Ellie exhaled, her eyes glued to the side of your face. With her gaze, she traced your nose. She would kiss that soon, too. “Yeah,” Ellie muttered. 

You leaned into her side, allowing your cheek to squish against her shoulder once more. Both of your heads tilted back, soaking in the sight of the sky for a bit longer before you would have to retreat back to your tents in an attempt at sleep. 

“Tell me about the star space wind thing,” you prompted softly. 

Ellie breathed in, preparing herself. “It’s not actually moving air. They’re really fast streams of particles, basically. They’re called stellar winds, and they emit from stars.” 

You hummed in response—not dismissive, but fully engaged and listening. 

You would, of course, have to rejoin Dina eventually. Ellie would rejoin Jesse. Until morning, at least. 

But for now… it was just you and Ellie. And the stars.

Ellie had an oral final exam tomorrow that she had not studied nearly enough for and she desperately needed to.

Well, her plan had not accounted for you opening the door looking like that.

She'd known you were going and she'd known you'd be dressed up all nice like you always did. Nevertheless, Ellie was not prepared to see how beautiful you actually looked.

The summer had spent weeks trying to wring every ounce of comfort out of everyone, especially you, but somehow, you'd come out looking like you'd finally made peace with it.

You were wearing a little white dress she'd never seen before. The fabric clung gently to your chest and waist, framing the little heart necklace you always wore, before loosening into a short skirt that danced with the wind around your thighs with every step.

At least, Ellie had managed not to jump you and kiss you breathless as soon as you opened the door and gave a big and bright smile in her direction. She was actually quite proud of herself for that. It had taken her an unbelievable amount of self control.

She'd grabbed the notebook off the table while your mom moved around the living room frantically. The whole place was full of noise that your house always had, a thing Ellie had noticed the very first time she came over and hadn't been able to stop noticing ever since.

Just a home that was always busy and alive, like the walls themselves had absorbed years of family dinners and loud conversations. Always busy, always alive.

Her apartment was really quiet in comparison.

Anyway. She had the notes, so she should have left.

Instead, she'd followed you back to the front door and ended up standing in the doorway while you stood just inside.

You looked so unfairly pretty this close.

You'd actually tied your hair up in a ponytail, as the March heat finally won the argument you'd been having with it all summer long.

Ellie had only seen you wear it like this a handful of times since you'd met. Usually you insisted on wearing it down, no matter how much you complained about the weather. Every single time Ellie asked if you weren't roasting alive, you'd shrug and mumble something about not liking how you looked with it tied back.

Ellie had never really understood that. Standing in your doorway now... well, she understood it even less. Clearly, your insecurities had very little to do with reality.

Two little butterfly clips held back the shorter strands that your ponytail couldn't quite catch. They were tiny and gold colored, and they suited you so perfectly that Ellie found herself smiling as she noticed them.

They were... very you. Very cute.

The evening wind moved between you, cool on the skin yet warm in the air, carrying the smell of someone grilling something from somewhere down the street. Even if it kept trying to separate the two of you, lifting the hem of your dress and tugging at Ellie's shirt, neither of you gave it much help.

"Okay," she said, and her voice had changed without her meaning to. Just a little low and softer, and she watched your expression shift in response. "I'll see you—"

Before she could finish, you stepped forward and closed the small distance between you.

Just like that, Ellie's entire plan for the evening dissolved completely.

She kissed you back just as softly.

The folder slipped off her hands—it hit the doorstep with a thud that none of you registered—and her hands found the side of your face, and then she wasn't going anywhere at all.

Your lips were soft and tasted a little sweet, and she heard herself exhale slowly against your mouth.

It was supposed to be a quick thing. A goodbye kiss. Except, your lips tasted sweet. Soft and a little sticky and actually, really sweet…. She liked that. She liked that a lot.

Ellie started to pull back just enough to register the unexpected sweetness lingering now on her lips.

You mistook it for the end of the kiss.

The second you began to lean away, Ellie's hand tightened gently around your cheek, her thumb brushing your skin as she guided you right back to her.

"Ellie…,” you said against her mouth, but it was not quite a complaint.

"You taste really nice," she said. A completely honest observation, and not at all an excuse to lean in again for another taste.

You were fully smiling now, delighted, leaning into her a little. "...Thanks?"

"Like, seriously." She kissed the corner of your mouth again, lingering just a second longer before pulling back. Ellie smacked her lips thoughtfully. "Did you eat something?"

You blinked. "What?"

"Another cinnamon roll?" she guessed, narrowing her eyes at you. "I know you get them for free but like… your teeth are gonna rot."

"I don't eat that many cinnamon rolls."

Ellie just looked at you.

It wasn't exactly a wild accusation to make. You did eat an alarming amount of these weekly. It came with the job, she supposed. Without missing a day, you came home with pastries with microscopic imperfections your boss refused to sell. Cinnamon rolls were your weakness, but there were also cupcakes, slices of cake, whatever new cake recipe your boss wanted everyone to try… Technically, you probably weren't supposed to bring home that much, but your manager seemed to like you far too much to care. Which admittedly benefited Ellie almost as much as it benefited you.

Ellie, who'd never really been much of a dessert person past childhood, had somehow become one by association. Dating—well. Spending time with you had quietly reshaped some of Ellie's habits, and one of them was her reluctance to eat sweet things.

Before you, she'd never gone out of her way to buy pastries. After you, she'd grown used to finding boxes on her kitchen counter, always filled with something sweet inside. Most of the time she'd grumble that you were going to rot both your teeth and hers but she had yet to refuse a single bite.

Honestly, the amount of sugar you consumed probably explained why children liked you so much.

She'd seen it first hand a few months ago, back when you'd been doing your first teaching placements. Your parents had wanted to pick you up after your first afternoon there, but neither of them had been able to make it.

It still got dark pretty early during that time of year, and the school they'd assigned you to was far enough from home that walking hadn't really been an option. Ellie knew you well enough by then to know you'd sooner wait for the bus for an hour than pay for an Uber, so she had offered to go pick you up before you could even start to reassure them it was okay.

The image of you waiting at the bus stop alone when the sun wasn't there anymore left her with a tight knot in her gut. Besides, you would probably need lots of help carrying all your stuff.

Ellie still remembered waiting outside the gates as the gloomy spring afternoon faded into evening. She'd expected to see you exhausted after a long day. Instead, she watched you come out with the brightest smile she'd ever seen on your face, clutching a folder full of drawings.

Since that day, Ellie wasn't entirely convinced you weren't secretly a princess.

"...Okay, maybe I do. But I didn't today.”

Still unconvinced even now and with a small frown on her brows, she kissed you again anyway, just to check. "Okay. What is it?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes," Ellie said, with complete seriousness, already leaning in to kiss you again.

“Caramel kiss.”

Figures. Even your lip balm had a sweet related name. Ellie would have laughed, if it wasn't for the confusion growing within her. Was that… a lip balm? Or... one of the two million shiny glosses in different shades you owned?

Probably. It was probably that, she was sure. Whatever it was, she'd have to remember it now. “Uh. That's a dumb name.”

“Ooh, you love it.”

“I mean, yeah.”

You smiled so brightly at that admission that Ellie forgot, for a second, that she'd been trying to leave.

You were still standing so close that Ellie could feel your breath against her face. Her hand remained cupping your cheek, her thumb absentmindedly brushing back and forth across your cheekbone while she watched you.

Ellie wasn't entirely sure when she'd started doing this, but lately she'd found herself staring at you far too much, and every time she looked, she found something new to notice.

Familiarity had done exactly what she'd expected. Everything should have become ordinary by now. But she was Ellie, so it never did. Spending so much time by your side had not dulled your edges; if anything, it only kept revealing details she'd somehow missed before.

No time to linger today, though. She really needed to leave. Like, right now.

Without thinking, Ellie leaned in again. The tip of your nose brushed hers at first, just barely. The touch was featherlight but enough to make you exhale softly against her mouth.

As you sighed against her lips she tilted her head, and then the tip of her nose was tracing the curve of your cheek. Ellie lingered there for just a heartbeat, breathing you in. You didn't move away. If anything, you leaned in just a fraction, close enough that your breaths had begun to fall into the same rhythm.

Ellie felt it immediately where the tip of her nose met your pillowy cheek.

Your cheek was warm. More than warm, actually.

Oh.

Were you… flustered?

She smiled before she could stop herself.

You. Flustered.

That wasn't something she'd seen much of, and was fairly sure that didn't happen very often. You weren't really prone to embarrassment — unless Ellie was the cause, apparently.

You moved through the world with a kind of ease that she'd never quite had herself. You flirted shamelessly, teased her relentlessly, and most days she was the one left flustered.

But sometimes, like right now, the roles reversed. Feeling that warmth bloom in your cheeks, Ellie couldn't help but grin. It felt strangely unfair that you still had the ability to surprise her.

Her lips brushed yours, and your mouths hovered only a breath apart. “Are you really embarrassed right now?”

“I'm no—”

“NO KISSING INSIDE THE HOUSE!”

Ellie's whole body jolted.

From somewhere deep inside the house, God only knew where, your dad's voice echoed through the hallway. The man seemed to possess some kind of sixth sense for knowing whenever Ellie was within kissing distance of you.

How he did it, she'd never figured out, and she'd stopped trying.

You pulled back so fast you nearly headbutted her. "We're literally in the doorway," you called back.

"THE DOORWAY IS STILL THE HOUSE!"

You rolled your eyes with a dramatic sigh before looking back at Ellie. "See what I have to deal with?"

Ellie couldn't really argue with him. Honestly, fair enough. If she ever had a daughter, she probably wouldn't be exactly thrilled to walk into someone making out with her in the doorway, either.

The thought lasted just a few seconds before you were giving her another quick peck. She put up absolutely no resistance because, despite understanding your dad's point completely, she also happened to be hopelessly in love with his daughter.

"...Dude," Ellie mumbled against your lips, trying—and failing—not to smile. "You're going to get me in trouble," she said.

No move to step back, though. None at all.

“Don't mind him. Worse things have been done in this house.”

Ellie felt her cheeks go bright red immediately, as flashbacks of whatever you two had been doing in your room just last night hit her. Truth be told, once the initial horniness settled, regret had arrived to take its place. Ellie had felt extremely embarrassed about the whole thing — for no particular reason, really. You were an adult, she was an adult, and you'd both been really careful not to be too loud about it.

Still, it flustered her slightly. Doing it in your house while your mom and dad were there just felt wrong to her, even though you clearly didn't share that concern with her, not even a little.

You were still standing there, half inside the house and half hidden by the doorframe, smiling at her like nothing had happened.

Behind you, the house was cool and dim, the fan humming faintly somewhere down the hallway. A gentle drift of cool air brushed Ellie's face, while behind her the last warmth of the afternoon sun settled against her nape.

It was either that, or the embarrassment creeping up her neck. Hard to tell.

Ellie cleared her throat, suddenly finding the cracked paint on your doorframe unbelievably interesting.

It didn't help, because her eyes wandered back to you almost immediately. Her gaze drifted from your face down to your shoulder.

With your hair up and the thin straps of your dress, they were almost bare, and the afternoon sun caught the tiny flecks of gold from whatever glittery lotion you'd put on, making them sparkle as you moved.

Before she even realized what she was doing, her fingers were brushing against the left strap, lightly tracing it from where it sat on your shoulder downward, following the line of it.

You paused mid-sentence as her fingertips brushed your skin. "What are you doing?" you asked, smiling softly.

"Nothing.”

“Mhm," you hummed, completely unconvinced.

She didn't even think about it before leaning in. Her forehead bumped lightly against your shoulder first, and then she turned her head and pressed her lips to your bare skin.

They lingered there for a beat longer than she'd meant to. As her forehead pressed against the curve of your shoulder, her eyes closed, just for a second.

"You look very pretty today," she murmured against you, though she was not entirely sure you could hear her.

It was a hopeless sentence. Pretty wasn't nearly enough of a word anymore.

Ellie couldn't remember when compliments had become so frightening to say aloud. They always sounded so embarrassingly small compared to what she actually meant.

A moment passed before you answered. "...Just today?" Then, your fingers found the small bun at the back of her head. "So every other day I look ugly?"

Ellie's lips twitched into a smile against your skin before pressing one more small kiss to the same spot. “I didn't say that.”

Your fingers closed around her bun, and then you gently tugged it until she lifted her face from your shoulder. "Okay, but you implied it."

"I didn't imply anything."

"You kind of did." You were fully smiling now, not even pretending not to enjoy this. "You only said it today. That's implying something, Ellie."

Clearly, you were about to settle in for this argument like you had all the time in the world to win it. Which you did not have all the time in the world. You were already running late.

She knew she needed to leave and that you also needed to leave, matter of fact, judging by the sounds coming from somewhere deeper in the house, like your mom calling your name with increasing urgency.

Ellie groaned, cutting you off before you could keep digging the hole she'd accidentally fallen into.

"Shush," Ellie said, as her thumb pressed into one cheek while her fingers gently squished the other, just enough to make your lips pout.

The words died in your throat immediately. You tried to look offended, but it was difficult with Ellie still holding your face like that. Instead, you looked kind of adorable with your brows furrowed and your lips pouty, feigning indignation.

She gave it a quick peck, right in the center of it. "Okay," she said, pulling back. "Gimme another kiss and I'll be on my way."

“Oh my god. You're so romantic.”

"Yeah, well. I'm on a schedule, so...”

"You know," you said as both of her hands settled on either side of your face again, "I don't appreciate you being this bossy. What happened to asking before you kissed me?”

Ellie rolled her eyes, though she was smiling too, and leaned in again. Your lips touched, just barely. This time there wasn't any teasing or talking, just the quiet little moment of your foreheads brushing before your noses bumped together again.

Before Ellie could steal the kiss she'd spent the last ten minutes trying to get, something heavy barreled into both of you.

The noise that escaped her against your mouth was not remotely romantic.

A familiar blur of golden fur wedged itself shamelessly between the two of you, nearly knocking Ellie sideways before planting both front paws against her hip.

"Mikey," you laughed. “What are you doing?”

When she looked down, Mikey looked up at her, completely unbothered by what he'd just interrupted. He looked, in fact, quite pleased with himself. His tail was whipping so enthusiastically that his entire back half seemed to wiggle with it.

He'd gotten so huge.

Little remained of the tiny puppy he used to be, and Ellie hadn't even noticed it happening. Seeing him every week had made the change almost invisible, but over the last few months he'd stopped being the puppy who fit in your arms and turned into... this.

Still a baby, according to you. A baby who was absolutely convinced every ounce of your affection belonged to him and him only.

She didn't even let go of your face.

Your hands were still wrapped loosely around her wrists, keeping her exactly where she was, while she stared down at him for a second. "Fuck off, Mikey.”

You looked down too, following Ellie's gaze, before immediately breaking into a smile. "Don't be rude to him."

Ellie looked back at you, an incredulous expression on her face. "He's literally cockblocking me."

"Well," you said, dropping one of your hands to scratch behind one of his ears, "You're kissing his mom. Of course he doesn't like that."

Ellie sighed the longest, most put-upon sigh imaginable. "Okay. Okay, let's just ignore him. Come here.”

"Ellie! he just wants—"

"He's fine." She kissed you again, briefly, before pulling back enough to look at you properly. "I didn't come here for him."

"That's so mean…"

Without answering, her hands found you and pulled you in.

You swayed forward with no resistance, arms rising up to loop around her neck. Ellie pressed her palms flat against the small of your back and drew you flush against her.

One of her hands wandered higher, fingertips tracing the line of your spine through the thin fabric of your dress before settling between your shoulder blades.

Ellie kissed you again, slower this time.

Your mouths found each other with the easy familiarity that only came from spending far too much time kissing each other these past few weeks. You tilted your head almost instinctively, and the kiss deepened just enough.

Her breath caught halfway through the kiss.

It itched somewhere beneath her ribs, the familiar ache that arrived whenever her heart got ahead of the rest of her. For one clumsy second, she almost forgot how to kiss you back.

Her lips missed yours by the smallest fraction when she tried to follow your mouth, earning the quietest laugh against her lips.

Still, her arms refused to loosen. She even pulled you just a little closer on instinct, even when there wasn't an inch left to steal.

Just closer, until your heartbeat blurred into hers. Until the world outside your embrace became little more than background noise.

When you finally pulled back, it was barely. Just enough that your lips weren't touching but your foreheads still were.

"You should go. You're gonna be late." you said against her mouth.

"Yeah."

Yet, she didn't move. Neither did you.

Your hands were still curled into the fabric of her shirt like you were keeping her there. Like she was going anywhere.

But she had to go somewhere, so she finally pulled back.

You followed, unwinding your arms from her neck. You reached up and fixed the collar of her shirt instead. "You really don't want to come? I know you don't know anyone but…"

For one stupid second, Ellie imagined saying yes. Sitting beside you in the car and letting your mom tease her while your dad pretended not to, as always.

The thought disappeared almost as quickly as it'd come.

Not only did she have to study, but she was also sweaty and underdressed. Beneath all those perfectly reasonable excuses, though, was the real one.

What was she to you?

What would she be to you when all these people looked at the two of you and asked? What was she supposed to say if someone asked?

She didn't know. She didn't know what you'd say. She didn't know what she was. Whatever this was still didn't have a name, so the thought of standing in a room full of people who might ask that question while she had no answer for it… Yeah, no.

"Nah. I have to study," Ellie said. Part truth, part lie.

You pouted, clearly quietly disappointed but without trying to weaponize it.

"Okay..."

"Hey," she said quietly. "I'd go if I could. You know I would."

"Yeah, I know," you said, in the voice that matched the pout. "I just—"

Ellie looked at it for exactly as long as she could stand it… which was two seconds.

Then, she kissed it. Once, softly. It stayed. So, she kissed it again. And again. Little kisses right to the center of your bottom lip, then the top one. Then the corner of your mouth, until she felt them twitch helplessly.

A giggle escaped out of you before you could stop it, bubbling up and breaking whatever face you'd been trying to hold.

"Stop," you said, still giggling.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said. "We can go get ice cream if you want.”

She saw the small disappointment ease a little. "I would really like that."

"Then it's settled. Text me when you get back?"

You smiled. "You text me when you get home. It's getting dark."

"I'll be fine."

"Text me anyway."

She would, obviously. She'd text you the second she walked in the door and probably twice more before going to bed.

Ellie let out the longest sigh she'd breathed all afternoon.

Her gaze finally dropped to the notebook still lying abandoned on the doorstep, exactly where it'd slipped from her hands.

So much for in and out.

She bent to pick it up and tucked it back beneath her arm. Then she took one step backward, then another.

Her backpack hung from one shoulder again, notebook tucked securely beneath her arm this time. She pointed a finger at you.

"Have fun," she said. "Tell your cousin happy birthday."

You pointed right back at her. "Don't study too hard."

"I won't."

"Eat something."

"I will."

"You better!”

As a response, Ellie lifted one hand awkwardly and gave you a thumbs up as she finally turned around, before she could embarrass herself any further.

She made it halfway down the walkway before risking one last glance over her shoulder.

Your ponytail was slightly crooked from all the kissing and your lip gloss thoroughly ruined thanks to her.

Still leaning against the doorframe, you raised your own thumb in return.

Ellie walked home with a sheepish grin and the faint taste of caramel kiss still in her lips.

she's gentle to the point where it's almost alarming. constantly checking in on you, taking her time. the way she's going so slow makes it feel teasing.

poor girl needs reassurance! she's a nervous mess. but that doesn't stop her from praising you.

"is this good?"

"not too rough, am i, baby?"

"you're so fucking tight."

"so beautiful.. god, you're divine like this.. keep looking at me, please. please keep looking at me with those eyes."

ellie would start off careful, sinking her fingers into your pussy and sloppily making out with you. unable to concentrate due to how warm you are, how your walls keep squeezing her fingers. it's an intoxicating feeling, and she wants more.

ellie has to have you in a mating press. she absolutely has to. she needs to kiss you while she's thrusting balls deep into your pussy, needs to examine your face and see every little expression. how your mouth gapes when you're about to come. how your eyes roll back slightly from the overstimulation.

she's the type to overstimulate you on accident. ellie's so mesmerized by your face, by how your body arches, that she's oblivious to how you're scratching at her back and nearly screaming from the amount of pleasure. your juices coating the strap, leaking onto the bed below.

The spare room she'd cleared out wasn't much bigger than a storage closet. A few training mats covered most of the floor, the late afternoon sunlight filtering weakly through the curtains and painting long shadows across the walls. It should have felt cramped. Instead it felt intimate. You hated that word.

You hated it even more when Ellie tossed her hoodie aside and stretched, completely unaware of the effect she was having.

"Ready?" she asked. You forced your attention upward, admittedly distracted, "hm?"

A grin tugged at one corner of her mouth. "I asked if you were ready." Your stomach flipped, "oh- uh, yeah sorry." you apologize sheepishly. Fucking embarrassing.

Ellie's laugh was soft, low in her throat, and something about hearing it in an otherwise empty house made your chest tighten in a way you tried very hard not to examine. Before you could dwell on it, she stepped forward and reached for your sleeve, and instinct immediately took over. You caught her wrist, shifted your weight, and found yourself slipping into the familiar rhythm of training.

For a while, it almost worked.

Grip fighting had always demanded too much concentration to leave room for much else. Every movement was a negotiation of balance and leverage, each of you trying to establish control before the other could. Ellie pressed forward, testing your stance, and you circled with her automatically, hands catching at sleeves and collars, feet skimming across the mat. Usually, it was enough to quiet everything else.

Today, though, every point of contact seemed impossible to ignore.

The rough fabric of her gi bunched beneath your fingers whenever you secured a grip. You noticed the strength in her shoulders when she tried to break free, the way her muscles tensed under the flimsy material, and the warmth of her body whenever the distance between you disappeared for a moment before opening again. It was distracting in a way you didn't particularly appreciate. 

You managed to off-balance her once, earning a sharp look that made you grin, but she recovered almost immediately.

"Come on williams, get your head in the game before I beat you." you tease her as you get into a ready stance.

She snorts, rolling her eyes but keeping her own stance loose, one hand on her hip. "Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try, pretty girl." Her voice is light, but there's a challenge in her tone that makes your pulse quicken. 

Fuck. "Watch me." 

Was she flirting with you? The realization hit with such embarrassing force that you almost missed the attack entirely. One second she was standing in front of you, smirking; the next she surged forward, catching your wrist and hip in the same motion. Your balance disappeared instantly.

"Shit—"

The mat slammed into your back. Before you could recover, Ellie followed. Years of practice made the movement effortless. She shifted her weight, trapping you before you could scramble away, one knee planted beside your hip as she caught your wrists and pressed them to the mat. Your breath caught.

"You were saying?"

The grin in her voice should have been infuriating. Instead, all you could think about was how close she was. Her hair had come loose during training, a few strands falling across her forehead. Her cheeks were flushed from exertion, freckles standing out against the pink in her skin. You could feel the warmth radiating from her even through the layers of your gi.

"Don't go all humble on me now," Ellie taunts. The teasing edge was still there, but it sounded weaker now. You swallowed, trying to regain any semblence of control you have left. "I'm still better at this."

her brows jump slightly. "Oh yeah? then why am i the one on top?"

For a second neither of you moved. The room felt strangely quiet despite the ragged sounds of your breathing. Your pulse hammered in your ears. Ellie's hands were still wrapped around your wrists. She hadn't let go.

You weren't sure when her smile had faded, only that it had. Something unreadable flickered across her face as her gaze dropped briefly to your mouth before returning to your eyes. The movement was quick, but you'd seen it.

And judging by the way her expression shifted, she knew you'd seen it too. The realization sparked between you like a live wire. Neither of you looked away. 

"Ellie..." Her name came out quieter than you'd intended. The hand around your left wrist loosened slightly.

"Yeah?" she breathes, her voice lower now, almost reverent. She looks down at you, her green eyes searching yours like she's trying to figure out if this is real or if she's finally lost her mind.

You could feel your heart trying to beat its way out of your chest. She was still hovering over you, close enough that every breath seemed to belong to both of you. For a moment, it felt like the entire world had narrowed to this tiny room, this patch of mat, and the impossible space between you. Then Ellie moved.

Barely.

Just enough.

You met her halfway.

The kiss was hesitant at first, almost disbelieving, like neither of you was entirely sure it was actually happening. But the second it did, all the tension that had been building for weeks seemed to snap taut.

Then, with a soft groan, she gives in completely, her hands pressing yours closer to the mat. The kiss is hungry, desperate, she's been holding her feelings in for far too long. When she pulls away, her lips are slightly swollen, her breathing uneven. She stares at you, wide-eyed, as if she can't quite believe what just happened.

"Jesus," she breathes, her voice hoarse. "You really don't play fair, do you?"

looking at her right now above you with that smug expression, makes you frustrated in more ways than one. You buck your hips upward, you don't know what's gotten into you, but it distracts her enough to falter, her mouth falling agape. You take the advantage, freeing your hands from her grip, and pulling her lips down to yours again, suddenly not in the mood for talking anymore.

Her breath hitched, her eyes widening slightly as you shifted beneath her. For once, Ellie looked caught off guard. Her hips were still pinning you to the mat, but some of the confidence she'd been carrying all afternoon had vanished, replaced by something hesitant.

The space between you felt impossibly small. You could feel the weight of her above you, the rapid rise and fall of her chest, the warmth radiating from her through the thin layers of fabric, your hands land on her thighs either side of you. Almost without thinking, you tilted your hips upward again, seeking her out, a sharp moan escaping your lips at the sensation.

Ellie's breath caught sharply. Her eyes fluttering shut to revel in it. A low, strangled sound escaped her—somewhere between a gasp and a whimper—as she moved to grip your hips. "Fuck," she rasps, her voice cracking slightly. She pulls away from the kiss, her forehead resting against yours, chest rising and falling rapidly. Her hands slide up your torso, stopping at your collarbone, her thumbs brushing over your pulse point. the look she gives you makes your thighs clench.

"Shit, i didn't-" she starts, then stops, swallowing hard. "are you sure you-"

 "Fuck, Ellie please,” you whine, the pressure between your thighs already becoming too much to bear, “don't stop."

Her usual confidence falters, replaced by something raw and unguarded. Her body responds instantly, her hips grinding down against yours with a slow, deliberate rhythm. A shudder runs through her, and she lets out a ragged sigh, her fingers tangling in your hair as she pulls you closer for another kiss—this one even hungrier than the last. "God, you taste so sweet...," she gasps between kisses, her voice a mix of frustration and desire. "so fuckin' perfect-"

But she doesn't finish the sentence. Instead, she tilts her head, kissing you again, deeper, her tongue slipping past your lips in a slow, wet stroke that leaves you both breathless. Your back arches into her and you release a high pitched whine, "nngh, faster- Ellie."

Her hands dig into your thighs, pulling you impossibly closer as she responds to your pleas with a hum that vibrates deep in her chest. "God, you're so fuckin' loud," she mumbles against your mouth, her voice laced with a mix of and want. She moves against you, grinding harder, her hips rolling with purpose, each movement sending jolts of pleasure through your body.

"Shit, don’t stop,"

"Yeah? You like that?" she urges, her voice a growl, her hips slamming into yours with purpose. "let go baby."

She kisses you again, deep and messy, her tongue sweeping against yours as you shudder beneath her. And when you finally come, she doesn't stop moving-she rides it out with you, her own breath hitching, her body trembling with the force of it.

Her hands tighten on your hips, her nails leaving tiny crescents in your skin as she rocks against you, matching your rhythm, pushing you further, harder. Her breath is ragged, her voice low and rough. she leans in, her lips grazing your ear as she whispers, "you gonna cum for me baby?" you can only muster a pathetic moan in response, angling your hips up to meet hers.

    This heat is making you lose it all, you're left with nothing but pure bliss. The tension pulls you in every direction, seeking Ellie closer and deeper. You grind harder, the air in the room infusing with the animalistic smell of love making.

    Ellie’s rather quiet, her short pants mixing with the ruffling of the sheets and the headboard that creates a metronome against the wall with every grind. You can feel every muscle clenching, melting the lines between you and Ellie’s skin. You're finally met with the push that helps you fall off the edge.

    Your breathing loses rhythm as you cover half of your face with your forearm. Ellie slowly climbs up your body to settle her head down on your chest, taking deep and slow breaths that matched yours. Her hand found yours, locking it in her grasp as she pushed herself up to your level. You couldn’t keep your eyes open, it’s as if they were bearing the weight of the Atlantic. Ellie’s faint breaths caressed the side of your neck. Her slightly damp fingers traced your jaw. 

  “Els…come closer...”

   The warmth wrapped your body, for once it wasn’t guilt. Your body learned after months not to escape Ellie’s intimacy. You taught Ellie that the best gifts were given by patience. 

Nothing told you that it was undeserving, her holding you was meant to be. You sighed as Ellie’s lips pressed on your shoulder. 

You opened your mouth to say something, but only a huff of content came out as you drifted off to sleep.