ilonanan

rin always thought his dream would never change—he was going to become the second-best striker in the world after sae.

but rin's dream came crumbling down the night sae returned from spain—and you were the first person he ran to after his dream came down in ruins. it was the first time you'd ever seen him cry, voice broken as he asked you questions you didn't have answers to. you could only hold rin in your arms as his tears soaked through the fabric of your sweater—and even the scent of your perfume and the soothing sound of your voice couldn't lift his spirits up this time.

in rin's eyes, it's just been you and him since then. his big brother wasn't a part of his life anymore, and you were the only person by his side when he made his promise to himself. he'll make sae itoshi notice him.

but no matter how broken their bond was, you couldn't bring yourself to detach from sae. rin knew, even as all of you aged through the years. he noticed the name of the notifications that popped up on your phone whenever you thought he wasn't looking. he noticed the way you would almost get ahead of yourself—psyched to share what crazy thing the sae itoshi did in his last soccer game that you personally attended. rin noticed the way you bit back your lip whenever he expressed his resentment toward sae, or how you half-heartedly joined in just to validate his feelings.

you don't have to pretend, is what rin wants to say. but he doesn't. he thinks he'd break if you even mentioned how close you still are to sae. not because of a fucked-up mindset that he should be closer to his brother than a damn family friend. no. rin's jealous of his brother. rin wants your attention solely on him—wants to be the topic of conversation when you talk to sae—wants to be the one texting you when you're with sae.

but rin's far too scared to ever admit his feelings like that, choosing to curse and beat himself over it. so, what happens when he's finally had enough?

you were tired of hiding your obvious bond with sae from rin—you just wanted to let him know how his brother was doing. it enraged you how uninterested rin seemed—disregarding every single word you said that was even remotely related to sae.

"hey, rin, did you see that goal? it was, like, perfect!" excitement festers in your tone as you turn your phone screen towards rin. you're both settled on the couch of his home. but you forget the person you're speaking to is rin—not one of your other friends who fangirl over the famous soccer prodigy that refuses to play for japan. you're about to say more—get ahead of yourself and expose your passion for his brother's match until rin clicks his tongue.

"shut up, i don't want to hear about that pest," rin spits, pure venom in his voice. it's unnatural—to you, at least. his sudden drop in demeanor hurts your heart a little, and bitterness overtakes ration.

"what the fuck is your problem, rin? i can't talk about one of the things i'm into around you?" you spit back at him, and his eyes widen in surprise. "you might not like him—but i do."

rin hates how your words feel like daggers to his heart. what's worse is that you continue your rant.

"you might think that he's shit and that you'll surpass him, but for god's sake, rin, he was invited to play for the u20's and you weren't!"

rin doesn't yell, doesn't react in a burst of anger. he only mumbles, "stop."

"i'm tired of walking on eggshells around you, rin!" stop. "he's not some shit player, he's the reason you even started playing in the first place." stop. "your desire to surpass him is more of a shackle than a drive to get better."

"just stop it," rin says softly, "please." and you're about to continue, throwing aside your phone and facing your full body towards rin to spit in his face—but you don't. what you see catches you off guard; it's a sight you haven't seen since that one night. guilt washes over you briskly and your hands find purchase on rin's as he turns his head away from you. but his hiding doesn't do much, you see the tears that slowly stream down his cheeks.

he doesn't fight your hold; instead, he succumbs into your touch easily. you're not sure if you should hug him or even say anything—not with how confusing rin is. "rin... i'm sorry."

"don't replace me with him," rin begs, voice quiet and broken. you barely hear his whispers, but they still don't make sense.

"what do you mean?" you take the chance to ask, confusion settling in.

rin takes sudden initiative to grab your hands, turning his body towards you. he places your hands on his thighs, and he looks—really looks—at you. his tear-stained face is on full display for you to see; they run down his cheeks, leaving you excited in a way you shouldn't. he inhales slowly and exhales shakily, trying to find his voice. "it's me you should be looking at."

the pieces are starting to fall in place in your head, and you decipher that jealousy is the source of rin's words. "he's not worthy of your attention. i know i'm not better than him yet, but i need you to watch me try."

you're not stupid. you understand that this is rin's way of confessing to you. but you don't say anything, not yet. you watch as his eyes fall, gaze dropping to your lap—anywhere that isn't your face. he's too ashamed to see if you're judging him. it's only the second moment of weakness he's exposed to you. and again, it's always about sae. but this time, it's different—rin doesn't want to lose you to sae.

you let rin wallow in his shame for a few minutes, silence bestowed upon both of you as a blessing and a curse. when you hear rin's sniffles die down, instead of saying something to lighten the mood, your hands run up and down his thighs as if you're asking him something. he lifts his head slightly, just enough to be able to look you in the eye. there, he sees it.

there's pity in your eyes—but there's something else. you're gazing at him with something more intense, foreign—intimate. rin is now hyperaware of your touch, fingers twitching against his thighs, inching closer and closer to his hips. he's aware of the way you breathe, how you're now taking longer to inhale and exhale, and how the intervals between them are longer as well. but he also realizes how his heart is beating much faster, and now anxiety settles into his nerves.

"rin." your voice cuts off his ability to think in endless strings of words. "my eyes have only been on you for years."

he sucks in a breath when you lift yourself off the couch, leg lifting over his as you settle your knees adjacent to both of his hips. you're taller than him like this, and he's forced to look up as he maintains eye contact with you. you put your weight on his lower thighs as your hands find purchase on his biceps. you squeeze on the muscles for a bit before your arms trail up further, slithering around his neck, effectively pulling you further up his lap and eventually on his crotch. rin knows you can feel the bulge that's actively growing bigger beneath you, and how it meets your clit through clothed movements.

rin's eyes flutter shut, unintentionally batting his pretty eyelashes at you, as you begin to move your hips against him. you feel warmth around your waist, and you chuckle at the sight of rin's arms wrapping around you, his head falling back as he breathes in the scent of you. he's so, so pretty. his eyelashes are still wet from his previous tears, and he fights the urge to let more drop as lust overtakes his senses. his mouth falls open, a string of curses and soft moans overflowing from him.

you shift your upper body closer to his, breasts pressing up against his chest as you bring your lips to his ear. "can i prove it to you?"

it should be illegal how fast rin nods his head. you don't need more confirmation—the way he bucks his hips into yours is proof enough. you want to tease him, you do, but you feel bad for making him cry. even if he's fucking gorgeous when he cries. so, you dip your hand between the two of you, fingers finding their way below the waistband of his sweats and boxers. you pull the bands down slightly, just enough to expose rin's cock to the cold air of his home.

rin lets out a particularly loud moan when your hand wraps around the base of his cock, giving it a few jerks of the wrist. "don't—fuck—don't tease—ah!" your trail your hand up his cock and wrap your palm around the tip of his cock, rubbing it against the sensitive head. "fuucckkkk..."

your arm that's still around his neck winds back, using it to grab ahold of his chin. you guide his face to yours and press your lips to his, kissing him with years of suppressed feelings. the tears don't take long to start again, and immense euphoria fills his senses. rin's waited years to hold you and kiss you like this, to pour his feelings into you and have them reciprocated. you feel the salt of his tears against your cheeks as well, and that only fuels the flame burning in your pelvis.

withdrawing your hand from rin's cock, you push aside your shorts and panties. you find his dick again and bring it against the exposed parts of your pussy. rin whines into your mouth as you bring the head to your clit, rubbing the tip against it. your arousal coats his tip, and the precum that beads on his slit leaves a string connecting both of you. rin almost chokes when you no longer rub his tip against your clit but even further below that.

using your hand, you guide rin into your pussy, and he swears—swears he's never felt anything better. he cries into your mouth as your walls squeeze around his length that slowly pushes in, and he fights the urge to thrust up and fill you to the brim. you pull your lips away from his, both of your breathing labored and ragged. your forehead is pressed to his, sweat already emerging from both your temples. his hands fly to your hips as soon as he bottoms out and you're fully situated on his cock.

you can feel how rin twitches inside you, feel every artery that pulses in his cock. and rin can feel all your muscles twitch and grip him like a fucking vice. he almost isn't prepared for when you start actually moving—riding him in earnest.

your hips bump against his in a steadfast pace, moving up and down his cock like he's the only thing you cling onto in this world. rin has his hands on your hips, but he's scared to put any pressure or force your movements. he fights the urge to dig his fingers to meet the bone of your hips, leave moon crescents in the plush of your skin, claim you by leaving scars as if you’re a document that needs a signature. he almost wants the world to see the evidence that you’re his, that you’re here.

it’s almost as if you read his mind.

your hands are now on his shoulders, holding onto him as you force your pussy onto his cock over and over again. it's dizzying—you're dizzying—intoxicating. your lips find rin's again, and this time his tongue pushes past to meet yours. you let him, and you moan into his mouth as he swallows all of your sounds.

your mouth opens in attempt to talk, and you barely can as rin tries to muffle you with his tongue. "rin—you feel so fucking—hah—good—!"

“q—quit talking,” rin mumbles half-heartedly, “gonna c—cum soon…”

he’s not lying, you can feel that he’s not. his cock twitches inside of you, and you can feel it jerk up into your pussy whenever you rise your hips, dragging it just to the tip remaining inside. his voice, whiny and with that confusingly-smooth rasp, heightens in pitch. he’s panting as if he just finished a one-on-one in a soccer match. the rational part of his brain is overtaken with lust and he hates that it clashes with the intimate desires to just care for you.

rin has wanted you for so long, waited years of what he thought was unrequited love. he just wants to hold and make sweet, soft love to you, the girl he grew up with. but those feelings clash with the lust that wells up within him. you two are so dirty, the speed and force of your hips bouncing up and down his cock isn’t anything sweet. the string of saliva that connects both of your lips when you two pull away isn’t innocent. it’s intimate, but it’s dirty—and he fucking loves it.

he’d be lying if he said he didn’t.

your hand reaches down to grab the back of his, dragging it up beneath your clothes and to your chest. rin chokes when he feels you force his hand on one of your tits, and it’s instinctual when his fingers claw slightly to squeeze the flesh. the plush of your boob in his hand, and the moan that flutters out of your mouth pushes his sensitivity to its peak. rin squeezes harder as he forces his face into the nook of your neck, panting im gonna cum im gonna cum over and over again.

and he does, crying out as he feels it inside you. it suddenly feels so wet inside of you, even more than before. and instead of riding him like you did earlier, you roll your hips against his over and over again, clit rubbing against his pelvic bone. you cum too, and rin sobs when he feels your cunt erratically clench around him.

you lie on top of him like that for a while, panting into each other’s skin. he mumbles a “thank you” before you slowly rise off him. his cum doesn’t take long to drip out of you, and you giggle at his reaction. rin’s face instantly turns red, lust almost completely drained, hand falling from your tit. you find purchase on his arm again and bring it to your cunt, dragging his fingers through the mess he made inside of you. he can’t tear his eyes away from the sight.

“eyes up, rin. i’ll only look at you if you look at me.”

rin can only obey your command.