skin deep

                            >> watch yourself, zenny….

                                 silently, she watched as he seemed to slowly process what she said.  she knew he didn’t remember it, she new it would confuse him… but the fact that he even reacted to her told her that somewhere in his mind, he still knew the truth.  all she had to do was pull him out of it.  

                                 the moment he mentioned a director, she reached up and covered his mouth with her free hand.  for all she knew someone could hear him, rush in, and make him take those pills ( whatever they were ) that numbed him even more.  

                                 " no need for the director.  you’re doing perfectly fine, zenny.  so, cinderella…  can you tell me the story of it again?  do you remember it? “

                                 “ ... zenny ... ” he mumbled the name softly ( although his mouth was covered, he wasn’t really aware of it ). he was the prince, or so he was told. but ... that name sounded so familiar, and it made his heart skip a beat. even quieter ( as if this next question might kill him ), he continued. “ is ... is that ... ” is that me ... ?

                                              the pounding in his head wouldn’t stop. dark spots fluttered in and out of his vision. it was so hard to focus on her, but he had to. she was his princess, and princes couldn’t falter because they felt unwell. and his princess wanted to hear the story of cinderella. 

                                  it would have been different if minteye had just gotten her.  then at least it was only her in danger, only her taken from normal life.  but, no… they had the nerve to take zen as well and on top of that had the nerve to mess with his head.  that was something she could never forgive any of them for.  seeing him so empty, forced to play a role he was forced into, it made her sick to her stomach.  

                                   her face was far from gentle, it was full of the hatred and anger she felt at seeing what they had done to her knight in shining armor.  it didn’t seem like he was scared of the burning in her eyes ( which was good since it wasn’t aimed towards him ).  seeing his hand reach out, she returned the gesture, first placing her fingertips on his ( as if to stop him from reaching any further ) before gently lacing her fingers with his.

                                  “ i-i’m not the princess, remember?  that’s you, zen.  you’re cinderella… and i’m your prince charming. ”

                              cinderella? for some reason, his head pounded upon hearing that word. he didn’t know what it meant, though. why was he reacting to a word with no meaning? this wasn’t the role he was supposed to play, he was the prince and she was the princess ... but who was she? who was she, really ... ?

                                            most women want to be cinderella, right? but i feel like ... i feel like--

                                his mind, his vision was blurry as he stared at the woman before him. he couldn’t place her, but there was something familiar about her. there was a dull pain in the back of his head, but not a normal headache. it was like his brain was trying to tell him something, but he couldn’t figure it out. he couldn’t even figure out his own name. he reached out slowly, unaware of his body swaying slightly.

                                   she nuzzled into him after giving him a quick kiss.  " heh, you’re really my knight in shining armor, huh?  nothing could be bad as long as i’m with you… you make everything better. “

                                  “ only for you i am thankful that i am next to you. you’re the only one, babe.  you taught me love in this harsh world i am happy with you alone. "  //  @illusry

                                 " it’s okay.  i wouldn’t expect you to. “

                               her body didn’t put up any resistance when he stopped her.  it was probably for the best… the world felt like it was spinning around her with so many thoughts racing through her head.  ah… zen really was the kindest man she had ever met.  taking care of a seemingly delusional girl who he had just met a couple of days ago.  it almost made her heart hurt that she couldn’t run into his arms immediately.

                               she let him lead her back into his home, not really having the will to stop him.  even now, she melted at his touch… even if they were not together just yet.  making her way to his couch, she leaned back and let her eyes close.  just listening to him talk was enough to calm her down even if just a little bit.  

                                  ” i know it sounds stupid but… calling wouldn’t really have helped.  i need to see you were okay.. with my own eyes. “

                               by the sound of his voice, he seemed a bit flustered at the idea of her being here.  ah… she didn’t realize he felt so strongly about her even though they had just met.  he was so sweet.

                                    ” …i-if you’ll do anything do you mind just– sitting next to me and talking?  if that’s too weird you don’t have to- “

                                 “ ah ... is that really it? i mean, i’d be happy to spend my time talking with you, but ... it feels like i should do something more ... ” zen rubbed the back of his neck absentmindedly, pondering the situation he’d ended up in. she had a dream about losing him, but they hadn’t even known each other for long ... come to think of it, he’d felt such a strong connection to min jee even though they’d never met. he couldn’t remember dreaming anything like this. weird. 

                                              well, there was no use questioning it, especially when there was a beautiful, troubled woman right in front of him. he couldn’t just ignore her and that was the last thing he wanted to do. he wanted to be there for her and support her. since she’d joined the rfa, zen had been head over heels, participating in the chats much more. he felt so much lighter now that min jee was around, so much that even when the other members did things that normally got on his nerves, the annoyance he felt left as soon as it came. he wanted to do the same for her. to lift her up, to help her feel happy. maybe she just needed his company. he was more than happy to provide that.

                             she didn’t think he would find it so amusing, but his actions were so cute she couldn’t help but smile widely.  leaning over, she pressed a quick kiss on his lips before leaning back to get on her phone.

                                  > i think the way you’re acting is cuter!!                                   > yea… but now instead of wishing we could see each other, we can see each other every day.                                   > that really makes me happy.

                               how dare she do things like this, knowing very well that his heart couldn’t handle it ...! he wanted to continue texting her, because it was really cute, but after reading her message, he couldn’t keep it up anymore. instead, he made his way over to the couch to lean over and kiss her all over her face. 

                             ah…so he pointed out how she didn’t say anything out loud.  he really should be more careful about these things, he was giving her good ideas for teasing him.  with a smile, she went back to typing on her phone.

                              > much better.  thank you! 💖

                               she didn’t respond right away, which concerned him a bit, until he saw her typing on her phone. was she really keeping this up? zen smiled. this was really cute. it was like back when they first met.

                             > zeeeeeen                              > can you turn on the fan?  it’s hot. 

            she’s right next to him, but she doesn’t want to interrupt whatever he is doing on his phone.  so texting it was.  // @illusry

                               zen laughed when he sees the message pop up on his phone. they’re past the point of being nervous about talking to each other face-to-face, so he's not sure why she did that. min jee always finds ways to surprise him. 

> i'm educating him.

                               her heart sank when he pushed her away.  it was reasonable though, it wasn’t like they talked enough for her to know who it was.  nor did he ever tell her where he lived ( though, all his fans knew.. it wouldn’t be that hard to find ).  he didn’t feel the same way she did, at least not yet.  she wasn’t his prince yet… and he wasn’t her cinderella.  she should have thought about that before running to his home like a madman.  tears were streaming down her face from hearing him talk.  he was okay.  he was normal.  he wasn’t hurt.  that was all she needed to know.  but…how was she going to explain this to him?  

                                “ i-i’m sorry…. i’m min jee- actually.  i’m sorry i just– ”

                                 she could barely think, it was like the memory of that time was breaking her ability to even process any thoughts she was having.  she needed to seem rational, she needed to be the funny, cute party planner zen thought her to be right now.  …she needed to be that but she couldn’t.  there was no way for her to pull herself together right now.  the last thing she wanted to do was lie to him, but she needed to right now.  he had psychic dreams that he panicked about all the time right?  so if she just used that excuse… maybe–

                                “ i-i had a horrible nightmare…you were hurt s-so i … i looked up your address on the internet through your fanclub.  i’m sorry… that was pretty invasive of me…  the thought wouldn’t leave my head i– ”

                                   her voice broke as his empty eyes haunted her mind.  all she wanted was to feel his arms around her, to hear him tell her it was okay, but they weren’t that close.  keeping her head down so he wouldn’t see the tears falling, she turned away to leave.  why was she suddenly feeling so dizzy?  it felt like her brain was overloaded with so many thoughts, she was probably swaying as she began to leave.

                                  “ i’m sorry…f-forget i was here, okay?  bye- ”

                                “ ah ... min jee. ” he felt bad about the way he reacted now. he acted without even thinking, too absorbed in his own fears to do anything else. and he ended up hurting her in the process. this woman he hardly knew, but cared about so much. she was suffering, and she needed to see him. she needed comfort. her life had changed so drastically, it was no wonder she was having strange dreams. she needed support, but now she was trying to leave --

                                             “ -- min jee, wait -- ” he grabbed her wrist, not hard, but just enough so that she would stop. “ i ... i didn’t recognize you at first. i’m sorry. ” he should’ve recognized her, given how attracted he was to her despite having just met her. “ don’t go. you’re clearly upset. come inside, please. ”

                                            without waiting for a response, he gently pulled her in ( her body looked so weak ) and closed the door behind him so she wouldn’t leave. “ i don’t feel right letting you go back when you’re like this. and i can’t take you back since rika’s address is confidential, so make yourself at home. ”