ind, pri, sel, heavily headcanon-based vina from star trek. cw: unreality, abuse, manipulation."To see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wildflower."
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hey folks! dropping in because I’m going to move Pris and also Vina to sideblogs off my main rp blog, @auroradicit
I, uh, resisted for some stupid reasons (I really like the background on this blog, okay, and I don’t have the original anymore–) but I want to be more regular and less flighty with these muses while still giving them their own spaces, and I think this is the easiest way to do it!
if you’d like, please feel free to refollow my girls @fateprotected and @illusionprotected! I’d love to get some things going again, particularly on Vina.
❝  logic is essential. vulcans have learned to live by it. emotions allow people to run amok. emotions are what cause conflict. ❞  Spock looks towards her.  ❝  being logical and honest has more benefits than you realize. perhaps you need to visit Vulcan to understand.  ❞
“maybe.” the thought makes vina--smile, thoughtful. a little amused. what else is there to be? “do you really believe everyone would be better off with vulcan logic? that anyone can do it?”
Chris watches her. Is this the first time he’s ever seen her speak about something that matters to her, something about herself. He wonders–
He stops the thought. Not yet.
“A botanist?” He says, gently, knowing not to say it in a way that invites more detail unless she wants to give it. She knows the rules here better than he does. “Well, all I know about plants is which ones taste good, but I like these better. They look like fireworks and sparks.”Â
He runs his hand over the tips of the grasses. The sensation feels real, and although he’s still aware that in reality he is locked away in the chair that is keeping his vital organs functioning, that even if he could reach out, his hands could no longer feel anything… It feels real.
It’s not. He could never truly convince himself that it is, but he lets himself have the moment. “I think I understand better, this time,” he adds, softly. “I think I owe you an apology… Maybe more than one.”
The truth is, she doesn’t know him. Vina has no right to the ache in her chest as she watches him reach out and touch. No right to the tangle of emotions, selfishness and not-quite-horror and simple human empathy.Â
Curiosity, oil-slick and grey and cold.
Shaking her head, she focuses her gaze out at the light-painted scenery, fading into the horizon as if it really does go on forever.
“You don’t owe me anything. If anything...”
She knows that she must choose her words carefully. Isn’t exactly sure what they would be, anyway. How long has it been since she had a conversation outside a fantasy? How many idle dreams has she lived about this one? Dizzying and distant compared to the sun against their skin, the scent of growing things.
“We have a long time. Long enough for a fresh start.”
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it does not require much for you to take someone under your wing. you have a knack for seeing the best in others and rooting for them, and they look up to you in turn. they feel that you are safe to go to in times of chaos or strife, and are calmed by your presence. you take extra measures to make sure everyone feels supported. things that others might not even consider, you have already likely accounted for. in most scenarios, you are "the leader." your struggles tend to come from your desire to provide things to others. you want to give, to see those you love happy, to make wherever you are a place of comfort. your failures hit you hard because you see this as your responsibility, and you hate to let people down. ...okay, yes, there's no avoiding it: this is the parent friend. Â
you survived even though the odds were stacked against you..you are stubborn, strong willed and absolutely feral. you've been through hell. now go take a shower and wash that blood off........ and get some therapy.
The ultimate affectionate gestures compilation ( version 3.0, improved and even more extended )
Send one of the following prompts for my muse to reach out affectionately to yours!
Feel free to combine them ( example: send [ brush ] + [ push ] for my muse to brush the loose strand of your muse’s hair our of their face and then push it behind your muse’s ear ), reverse them ( example: send [ reverse + caress ] for your muse to caress my muse’s cheek ) and/or add details.
[ tilt ] - for receiver to tilt sender’s chin gently to prompt them to make eye contact with receiver
[ curl ] - for receiver to curl their fingers under sender's chin while resting a thumb on their cheek, not quite tilting but just... holding
[ cup ] - for receiver to cup sender’s face with their hand/s
[ caress ] - for receiver to caress sender’s cheek
[ place ] - for receiver to place their hand over sender’s hand where it’s placed on receiver’s cheek
[ boop ] - for receiver to boop sender on the nose
[ nose rub ] - for receiver to brush their nose against sender’s nose
[ nose ] - for receiver to kiss sender on the nose
[ palm ] - for receiver to kiss sender on the palm
[ back ] - for receiver to kiss sender on the back of a hand
[ knuckles ] - for receiver to kiss sender’s knuckles
[ shoulder ] - for receiver to place a kiss on sender's shoulder / shoulder blade
[ nape ] - for receiver to place a kiss on the nape of sender's neck
[ jaw ] - for receiver to place leisurely kisses along sender's jaw
[ cheek ] - for receiver to kiss sender on the cheek
[ lips ] - for receiver to kiss sender softly on the lips
[ forehead ] - for receiver to kiss sender on the forehead
[ lean ] - for receiver to lean in and press their forehead against sender’s forehead
[ pepper ] - for receiver to pepper sender’s face with kisses
[ eyes ] - for receiver to kiss sender’s closed eyelids
[ tears ] - for receiver to kiss away sender’s tears
[ wipe ] - for receiver to wipe away sender’s tears
[ gaze ] - for receiver to gaze into sender’s eyes
[ stare ] - for receiver to look affectionately at sender / follow sender's movements with a look full of fondness
[ roll ] - for receiver to roll their eyes affectionately at sender
[ scalp ] - for receiver to massage sender’s head
[ pat ] - for receiver to pat sender’s head
[ brush ] - for receiver to brush the hair out of sender’s face / eyes / forehead
[ push ] - for receiver to push the loose strand of sender’s hair behind your muse’s ear
[ top ] - for receiver to kiss sender on the top of their head and then rest their cheek against it while holding sender close
[ chin ] - for receiver to settle their chin on the top of sender’s head while holding them close
[ hair ] - for receiver to place lots of short, sweet, messy little kisses on the crown of sender’s hair
[ run ] - for receiver to run their fingers through sender’s hair
[ stroke ] - for receiver to stroke sender's hair / head
[ twirl ] - for receiver to twirl a strand of sender’s hair around their finger
[ hand ] - for receiver to place their hand on sender’s shoulder / neck as a way of supporting / comforting / reassuring them that receiver is there for them
[ wrap ] - for receiver to wrap their arm around sender’s shoulders
[ massage ] - for receiver to massage a specified part of sender's body (ex.: hand/s, foot/feet, knee/s etc.)
[ relax ] - for receiver to massage sender’s shoulders and/or neck
[ soothe ] - for receiver to rub sender’s shoulders soothingly
[ rub ] - for receiver to rub sender’s back
[ body ] - for receiver to give sender a full-body massage
[ snuggle ] - for receiver to snuggle to sender’s side
[ waist ] - for receiver to wrap their arm around sender's waist
[ support ] - for receiver to support sender with an arm around their waist / shoulders and/or pull sender's arm across receiver's shoulders to better support their weight
[ catch ] - for receiver to catch sender as they stumble or collapse from exhaustion / sickness / injuries
[ lift ] - for receiver to lift sender up in their arms
[ shield ] - for receiver to shield sender from a threat, be it a person or a force of nature
[ tackle ] - for receiver to tackle sender, playfully or to shield from danger
[ come here ] - for receiver to gently pull sender towards them for a hug or a dance
[ behind ] - for receiver to hug sender from behind
[ rest ] - for receiver to hug sender from behind and rest their cheek against sender’s back / shoulder
[ rock ] - for receiver to hold sender and rock gently from side to side
[ tuck ] - for receiver to tuck sender against their chest, covering them with their jacket / coat fronts, in order to keep them warm / safe from rain
[ head ] - for receiver to rest their head on sender’s shoulder
[ sit ] - for receiver to settle down on sender's lap
[ lap ] - for receiver to place their head upon sender’s lap
[ guide ] - for receiver to guide sender to place their head upon receiver’s lap
[ chest ] - for receiver to hide their face in sender's chest
[ hide ] - for receiver to guide sender to hide their face in receiver’s chest
[ heartbeat ] - for receiver to place their head upon sender’s chest, right over their heart, to listen to its beat
[ listen ] - for receiver to guide sender to rest their head upon receiver's chest, right over their heart, so they can listen to its beat
[ help ] - for receiver to give sender a hand when they’re stepping up or over something
[ touch ] - for receiver to touch the back of their hand to the back of sender’s hand as if inviting to hold hands
[ thumb ] - for receiver to run their thumb over sender’s thumb while holding hands
[ hold ] - for receiver to hold sender’s hand and interlace their fingers
[ squeeze ] - for receiver to squeeze sender’s hand
[ fingers ] - for receiver to play with sender’s fingers absent-mindedly
[ shapes ] - for receiver to trace imaginary shapes on sender’s skin
[ cover ] - for receiver to cover sender with a blanket / jacket / coat as they’re lying down
[ drape ] - for receiver to drape a blanket / jacket / coat around sender’s shoulders
[ comb ] - for receiver to brush sender’s hair
[ braid ] - for receiver to braid sender’s hair
[ nails ] - for receiver to tidy sender’s nails and/or do a manicure
[ makeup ] - for receiver to help sender put on their makeup
[ jewelry ] - for receiver to help sender put on a piece of jewelry
[ tie ] - for receiver to help sender do their tie
[ scarf ] - for receiver to tie a scarf around sender's neck so they won't get cold
[ smooth ] - for receiver to straighten sender’s collar / lapel / brush a hand over sender’s clothes to smooth them out
[ zip ] - for receiver to help sender zip their dress / jacket / button their clothes
[ dress ] - for receiver to help sender put on an item of clothing
[ unbrella ] - for receiver to share their umbrella with sender to save them from rain / scorching sun
[ cook ] - for receiver to cook something for sender
[ treat ] - for receiver to offer new food / receiver's favorite food to sender
[ feed ] - for receiver to feed sender
[ drink ] - for receiver to help sender drink
[ cocktail ] - for receiver to make a cocktail for sender
[ pour ] - for receiver to pour sender a drink
[ bath ] - for receiver to draw a warm bath for sender
[ water ] - for receiver to join sender in the bath
[ wash ] - for receiver to help sender with washing their hair / body
[ blowdryer ] - for receiver to help sender dry their hair with a blow dryer / a towel
[ towel ] - for receiver to dry sender's body / clothes with a towel
[ spread ] - for receiver to spread out a blanket / towel / carpet on the ground so that sender and they can sit on it
[ blanketfort ] - for receiver to build a fort out of blankets, pillows etc. for / with sender
[ picnic ] - for receiver to invite sender to a picnic
[ swim ] - for receiver to invite sender to swim with them
[ hobby ] - for receiver to share their favorite pastime with sender
[ teach ] - for receiver to help sender learn something / how to do something
[ read ] - for receiver to read something aloud to sender
[ trinkets ] - for receiver to show sender and/or tell them about things in their possession / things they love
[ beckon ] - for receiver to beckon sender towards them
[ whisper ] - for receiver to whisper something in sender's ear
[ tickle ] - for receiver to tickle sender
[ cheer ] - for receiver to try to cheer sender up
[ faces ] - for receiver to make funny faces at sender
[ shove ] - for receiver to playfully shove sender
[ pull ] - for receiver to pull sender down to sit on receiver’s lap
[ bed ] - for receiver to push or pull sender back on the bed when they try to get up
[ cloth ] - for receiver to bath sender’s face / neck with a cloth soaked in cool water
[ patch ] - for receiver to patch up sender's wound/s
[ pain ] - for receiver to kiss sender where it hurts to soothe their pain
[ trace ] - for receiver to trace sender’s scar/s with the softest press of their fingertips
[ ask ] - for receiver to ask sender about their scar/s
[ win ] – for the sender’s muse to place a hand on the receiver’s neck and rest their forehead against the receiver’s own for a close congrats or excitement at something.
[ brush ] – for the sender’s muse to give the receiver’s muse a passing touch along the shoulder’s / back as they walk by.
[ hold ] – for the sender’s muse to hold the receiver’s muse by the face / neck gently and brush their thumbs along their cheeks to get them to focus on them.
[ passing confidence ] – for the sender’s muse brush their finger’s against the receiver’s muse’s hand, too scared to hold their hand.
[ intertwine ] – for the sender’s muse to intertwine their finger’s the receiver’s muse and kiss the back of their hand.
[ intertwine & kiss ] – for the sender’s muse to intertwine their finger’s the receiver’s muse and kiss the back of their hand.
[ intertwine & hold ]  –  for the sender’s muse to intertwine their finger’s the receiver’s muse and hold them during an emotional moment to reassure them.
[ wrap ] – for the sender’s muse to casually wrap their arms around the receiver’s neck and lean on their shoulder from behind.
[ palm kiss ] – for the sender’s muse to kiss the palm of receiver’s hand.
[ hand kiss ] – for the sender’s muse to kiss the back of the receiver’s hand.
[ lay ] – for the sender’s muse to lay next to the receiver and lay their hand in the receiver muses’ hand.
[ reassure ] – for the sender’s muse to place their hand over the receiver’s in a moment of stress and squeeze reassuringly.
[ squeeze ] – for the sender’s muse to place their hands on the receiver’s shoulders from behind, and offer a reassuring / affirming squeeze before moving on.
[ pluck ] – for the sender to pluck a foreign object ( twig / leaf / etc. ) out of the receiver muses’ hair.
[ play ] – for the sender’s muse to run their hand up the receiver’s shoulder and play with the hair at the base of their neck as a means of comfort.
[ rub ] – for the sender muse to rub up and down the receiver’s back / shoulder as a means of comfort.
[ shoulder ] – for the sender’s muse to place a hand on the receiver’s shoulder to comfort them, or stop them.
[ hug ] – for the sender’s muse to drag the receiver’s muse into a tight hug by the back of the neck, and play with their hair at the base of their neck in order to comfort them.
[ shock ] – for the sender to recoil a bit in shock at how quick the receiver latches onto them in a moment of high emotion, before returning the affections.
[ cup ] – for the sender’s muse to cup the receiver’s face, and brush their thumb along the receiver’s cheek.
[ hair ] – for the sender to brush a strand of hair out of the receiver’s face.
[ hair & lean ] – for the sender to brush a strand of hair out of the face, and lean in slowly for a kiss.
[ cup & kiss ] – for the sender’s muse to cup the receiver muses’ face during an incredibly passionate and long overdue kiss.
[ what a rush ] – for the long long overdue kiss to end, only for the sender to rest their head on the receiver’s, and comment “do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that?”
[ no tears ] – for the sender to cup the receiver’s face and brush away their tears with their thumbs.
[ no tears & kiss ]  –  for the sender to cup the receiver’s face and brush away their tears with their thumbs & kiss the receiver’s forehead.
[ stumble ] – for the sender’s muse to catch and help the receiver’s muse keep balance.
[ shudder ] – for the sender to shudder a little at some gentle touch from the receiver.
[ nononono! ]  –  for the sender to hold the receiver’s head / face while they’re injured, brush their thumb along their cheeks & refuse to accept that the receiver is dying.
[ acceptance ]  –  for the sender & receiver to sit / lay somewhere in acceptance of their ends together. in a final act of closeness, the sender places their hand in the receiver’s own.
[ prompt ] + reverse – to reverse any of the prompts !
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❝ Unnecessary honesty? ❞ Eyebrow is arched. Head cants to the side. ❝ You speak as if honesty is bad. When one is honest, there is no need to hide. No need to deceive. Clarity is one’s best friend. ❞
“Not bad. Not any more than it’s good.” Vina shrugs, trying to put her thoughts in order. “To be honest with yourself, maybe, but to always be entirely and brutally honest to others--even if it’s not cruel, it doesn’t seem reasonable. Not for long.”
Oh yes, he remembers. He has the feelings the Talosians remember what he was like the first time, too. They’ll be better at convincing him that this is where he wants to be, and they’re be prepared if he tries to resist. Not to mention they helped Spock when he needed it. He doubts they’d need to be telepaths to know that’s something that they can use to their advantage.
“I’m at ease,” he says. “As much as I can be.” Not exactly true, and he knows it wouldn’t fool the Talosians. But one of the things that’s stuck with him all these years is that look of fear on her face when he expressed any dissatisfaction with the illusions. He doesn’t want to cause that again.Â
However, it’s not untrue when he says, “Gardening? Of course, I’d like to see your garden, Vina.”
Despite her best effort, her smile is touched with relief. It isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement, but that’s alright. It takes time. Acceptance always does. They have time, she thinks, a prickling down her spine. They have time.
Maybe that’s why she meanders, letting him get his bearings. Vina leads him down the gentle slope towards the ranch set into the valley. Her greenhouses are around back, past the stables, but she has a feeling he might enjoy her outdoor beds. She doesn’t bother to tame them the same way, local grasses to her hip butting up against Torch Lily and Creosote. Some things grow strongest, most beautiful in symbiosis.
“I was a botanist.” Not before, never before, but never quite again. “I’ve tried to cultivate some of those singing flowers from the surface, but they’ve adapted to the radiation and thinning atmosphere.”
Like most forms of life, they can’t flourish underground. Even the Talosians have only wasted away.
63%   caregiver  Friendly, sincere, and compassionate, the Caregiver finds their reward  in helping others. No one could ask for a better best friend.  . Â
25%   intellectual  The Intellectual is the ultimate dinner-party guest. Engaging questions and thoughtful debate are their trademarks.Â
12%   advocate  The Advocate is the one everyone wants on their side. In the name of justice, they are not afraid to challenge authority or speak up for others. Â
TAGGED BY: @entpilot but I’d already done Pris so hope this is ok!
He hesitates–how many times in the past months has he felt himself reach out only to remain unmoving? It’s one of the myriad things he hadn’t really been ready for despite knowing what was coming. There had been so many people he’d wanted to grab, to shake, to tell them he was still there, that they couldn’t treat him like he wasn’t there.
And now, he’s not ready for this either.
Finally, if only to avoid thoughts that he can’t allow himself to dwell on lest they be overheard, he takes her hand. “A walk sounds…” He doesn’t know what word to use, so he ends on, “good.”Â
The trees, the grass, the sky… it’s not exactly home, but it’s got the distinct feel of home. That’s the point, he knows that. “Do you like this? This setting?”
She gives his hand a gentle squeeze, grounding. There’s no forgetting this isn’t real. Not in her experience. But it’s easier, sometimes, to accept it.
“They want us to be...at ease.”
Birdsong in the distance. The smell of growing things. She’d have gone mad without them a long time ago. They feel real, and that’s what matters. It has to be, when the last time she’d seen the sun had been the last time they were together.
“I am, I suppose. Here, and the redwoods. I’ve been gardening, if you’d like to see.”
It’s somehow both more and less awkward than she expected. No crisis, no call to duty. No edict from the Keeper breathing down their necks. At least not so obviously. All the time in the world to try and get to know one another. Hopefully they do make better friends.
“Or we can go anywhere you like. You remember.”
i love you green. i love you forests. i love you smell of damp earth. i love you feeling before the storm breaks. i love you moss. i love you rivers. i love you streams. i love you thunderstorms. i love you sunlight shining through leaves.
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@illusionprotected​ “How long are you going to stand there?”
“I’m not sure,” Chris answers,Â
He knows, logically, that it’s not real. He’d been preparing himself for that when he was sure Spock was bringing him here. Yet, it feels like he’s standing. He can look down and see his legs beneath him. He can move and speak and the pain he knows must still be there is absent.
In the years since he last saw her, he’s been trying to find a way to do something for her, but it’s not until now that he feels he’s beginning to understand her. Beginning to understand what she’s been through.
He should have done more.
To even have these thoughts is dangerous. He knows that, too. “It’s… It takes some getting used to.”
Vina’s smile is amused, hopeful. Never sad. Touched with some memory of her own awe. The Talosians hadn’t gentled her from what had happened to her body. To see herself whole afterwards, to be able to talk and move normally had been--overwhelming. She can only imagine what it's like for Chris, with more time before even if he had been prepared.
He hadn’t wanted this. To treat it as a miracle seems cruel, somehow. But she doesn’t need the well-worn reminder that such regrets are unproductive.
❝ I simply try and do the most logical thing. There is nothing else driving me forward. I am Vulcan and Vulcans do not lie. ❞ @illusionprotected​
She speaks clearly, without the lisp of the scar that bisects her lips. Like everything else about her, it is a lie. It does not bother her anymore. It never has. There can be no other truth.
“But where’s the logic in unnecessary honesty?”
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