SAHLO |-/ FOLINA

Hi , My names Shan. I’m 33, from England, and I’m constantly caffeinated, overwhelmed and surrounded by children.

I have 3 sons, 1 daughter, 1 niece, 3 nephews , emotional baggage, solid trauma, and a partridge in a pear tree.

I have ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and for your entertainment I’m fully unmedicated

Possibly bipolar, definitely bisexual

I don’t sleep often

Loud noises scare me

And the word “fuck” makes its way into every other sentence.

Current hyperfixations are - Brassic, Michelle Keegan, Twenty One Pilots, Zak Sutcliffe and most recently, Alex Warren

These will not last.

My last blog was you-ponys-a-cunt , I got booted off it and now I can’t log back in. RIP to the OG page

I blog approximately 27 times a day, always irrelevant bollocks, and I really like cheese

Argentina looked FURIOUS

Imagine trying to fist fight players after the final whistle , fucking dirty behaviour, you lost, grow up

Mr 7 was 5 days old. He was an incredibly fussy baby. He wouldn't stop crying. He was constantly spitting up. He was so unsettled. So much so that me and his dad had to work in shifts so that one of us was constantly up trying to soothe him. We thought he was just clingy and colicky, when in reality he was dying.

7 years ago today the midwife and a student came into my home to complete my sons 5 day old check up. The memory of them pulling out the scales and weighing Mr 7 is so vivid for me. The student placed him on the scales. Then she took him off, pulled a face, and pressed the re-set button. Then she set him on it again, and looked over at the midwife. The midwife picked him up, and said they were having trouble getting a reading. She moved the scales. Re-set them. Then placed Mr 7 back on them. Silence. The student just looked at the midwife. Then the midwife looked at me. She so calmly told me to pop him back down to A&E to get checked over because he'd lost almost 20% of his birth weight. There was no urgency. No stress. What was me loading up the car and packing his nappy bag should of actually been a blue light to hospital. But everyone was clueless, including me. But if I had stayed home that night and put my 5 day old son to bed, I would of woken up to a dead baby. 100% certainty. No doubt about it. I thought we'd go to hospital and be given some gaviscon for reflux. That was it. That was as serious as I thought it would be. Less than an hour later we were in a private resus cubical and the room was swimming with bodies. Words were being thrown around that I didn't understand. I was told to leave the room whilst they performed a lumbar puncture. I refused. Then I was asked if there was anyone I wanted to call who may want to come and say goodbye. Bitch say goodbye to who?? Then they told me my baby was too sick. He likely wasn't going to survive. I remember being so fucking angry because I just didn't understand what was going on. There was blood all over my baby's blankie. All over his little onesie. They stripped him of clothes completely and swaddled him around wires and machines. Mr 7 had deteriorated rapidly by this point. He was grey. His eyes were rolled into the back of his head. He was barely breathing on his own. They were fully expecting him to code then and there. A nurse came in at some point and said the surgical team were on their way. Whyyyyyyyyy would a surgical team be on there way for a baby who had reflux??? I was still so naive to the severity of the situation and so many people were so busy bustling around us that no one actually stopped to explain what was happening. Everything after that was such a blur. Everyone was moving a 100mph around me. It wasn't until we got to the ICU later that night that everything seemed to go quiet. The ICU was just full of rhythmic beeps and rustling of paperwork. My sons very first assigned nurse was called James. James sat at my sons bedside all night. A surgeon came to see us in the early hours of the morning. He shook my hand and told me he would be my sons surgeon for the next 18 years. 18 years. I still didn't fully understand what was happening. The surgeon tried to draw me a diagram on a post it note. I nodded like I understood but I honestly had no fucking idea. And of course I googled when they very specifically told me not to.

After having 3 boys, I didn’t believe the ultrasound tech when she said i was having a girl, and I convinced myself she was wrong

So when I went into labour, I packed 2 of everything, but one set in pink and one in blue 💀😂 I’m talking blue blanket, blue booties, blue hat, just because I was so sure it was gonna be another boy

I was high as fuck when I pushed that kid outta my hoo-haa and as soon as she was born my first words were “is it definitely a girl!?”

What do you mean a whole ass week of the summer is over already??? L is away this week so it's set to be a pretty quiet one for us, though I have made plans for Saturday but I'll post more about that later. Alton Towers have a 'meet the mobs' event on As a fully grown adult I think it looks ridiculous. Alton Towers is over an hour away from us and honestly I can't think of anything worse than travelling all that way and spending all that money just to take some pictures of my kids with a guy dressed as a creeper. But I know the kids would absolutely love it. Uhh. Maybe. If I can find the will to live I'll think about it.

My emails are getting bombarded with bonfire night / diwali / halloween / christmas events that are ready to book now and I'm like guys can we plz chill it's July.

“against all odds”

We went to the local fire station open day. It was cute 🚒

But 4 kids was like, a lot to have because it cost me £12 for the mini engine ride and £15 for hotdogs but alas

They had a good time. They had a go at some free activities and spoke to some of the firefighters. They all brought sweets with their pocket money and we all had ice creams and hot dogs 🍦 🌭

I’m so tired.

Absolutely my fault.

I stayed up till 1am watching the new heartstopper movie. Very good, very recommend.

The kids are fed and dressed and ready, I just need to go get my shoes on and drag my ass out the door.

Thankfully the heatwave has dipped a little and it’s quite breezy out today. It’s meant to reach 23 but I’ll take that over 34 so 🙃

Kids man.