my wattpad stories

I should just walk up to her. Just zap into her room, and give her a piece of my mind. As kindly as I possibly could; she was the only one who could finally hear me, see me, talk to me. I thought I'd loose my mind living by myself as the whole world still worked around me.

I let out a breath, as I saw her shadow dance on the curtains. In five seconds, I breathed again.

This was difficult.

It was worse than telling your crush you liked them. It was worse than auditioning for talent. It was the worst possible thing because she was the only thing that I had now. The one true chance I had of figuring a way out of this. She could help me get out here.

I closed my eyes and just did it.

"Hey," her voice softly greeted me. I stood there frozen, with my eyes closed shut and my hands sweaty by my side. I can't remember the last time I was this nervous.

I opened an eye and peeked to the sight in front of me.

There she stood, showered in rose-gold light. Her bedroom walls behind her, plastered with posters, drawings and words. Her laptop open on her bed, the screen paused on a video of GOT7, and a candle lit on her side table.

"Hi," I breathed. I shouldn't be this nervous, she seems cool with this.

"Hi." She smiled at me again.

"I'm Im Jaebum."

"I'm y/n," she greeted, nodding her head. A small smile playing on her lips.

I felt the corners of my lips shift upwards slightly. For being an Ice Queen, she sure does smile a lot.

"Look, Jaebum, I'm sorry for not talking to you earlier." She let out, her voice desperate. "But you have to understand my perspective too. I've been seeing ghosts since I was a child and not all of them were nice. I just didn't want to give you fake hope or- I don't know. I was just really scared."

Her left hand was carrasing her right elbow. Her right knee bent, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. She was nervous, she was scared, and I understood.

For some reason I understood why she wouldn't talk to a ghost. But I didn't understand why she would now.

I pointed to her laptop, and she turned around, before shooting me a cheeky smile.

"I like to think of it as research." She shrugged, and I smirked.

"Is it good?"

"Yeah, you guys have great music. It's not the type I normally listen to, but I can see myself jamming out to it on many occasions." y/n told me, and pride swelled in my chest.

"That was the last comeback I was there for," I told her, trying to keep the sadness away from my voice. I don't think I did a good job, because pity painted her face. "Don't feel sorry for me."

"I don't feel sorry for you," she replied. "The other guys; I feel bad for them. They had two other comebacks, and they cried at every showcase."

"Who cried the most?" I asked, trying to change the mood, even though my heart tugged at that. "Was it Youngjae or Mark?"

"It was actually Yugyeom and Bambam," she laughed. "Those two were a mess every time, thank god the other guys were there. Even though they cried, they helped those two keep calm."

"Bambam and Yugy cried?" Laughter left me, thinking about those two idiots crying about missing me.

She nodded, with a ghost of a smile.

"They really miss you."

"I miss them too," I said, in a soft voice.

We both stood in silence, letting it all sink in.

"How did you find out it was me?" I asked, after a few minutes.

She looked up, and stared at me. "My cousin is a huge fan- aghase. I met her after two years, and she was fingerling about you all, and that's when I found out it was you."

"She fangirled over a dead person?" I bit my tongue. "That's kind of weird, don't you think?"

Confusion covered her face as she looked at me.

"Don't you know what happened to you?" y/n asked, cocking her head to the side. "You're not dead, Jaebum."

Everything stilled around me, as silence rang loudly in my ear.

I was not dead. I am not dead.

My eyes started to burn, and a tear rolled down my cheek.

I was not dead.

Its simple and everybody knows it, but nobody really seems to grasp it. Everybody is chasing after a better future, letting go of the now, when it should really be the opposite. Leave the chase of the future, for a better now, so when the future comes it can be celebrated too.

Because they'll always come a future, and if there's not, at least the life lived so far was good.

One can imagine my words being so idealistic that they become unrealistic, but they're not.

I'm being honest.

I'm being as honest as the sunlight that gently hitting skin. I'm being honest as the tingling burns on fingertips when dipped in melting candle wax. I'm being honest as a person who no longer has a future can be.

All I have is the past, and all I regret is letting go of the present.

I try not to get too sad, about it though. It's not like I no longer exist. I do, but not in the most natural way.

I'm trapped in the human world, waiting for the white light to shine down on me and sweep me to heaven or hell. At this point, any would be preferable.

There's nothing wrong about the town that I'm stuck in, but there's nothing right about it either.

Maybe, being in Seoul would have been different.

There would have been so much to watch, so many people to see; people that I actually knew, and not a bunch of strangers.

A bunch of strangers in a strange town, but there were stranger things here.

There is a girl; there always is, but her- she's different.

Everybody stirs clear of her way, making sure not to look into her dark eyes. They call her the Ice Queen, and rightfully so.

She was terrifying. On my fifty-eight day here, our eyes met and I froze. It was like slithering snakes were twirling disgusting up my spine, paralysing me cold under her gaze.

I was running down the hall, singing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, at the top of my lungs. She was in class and looked out the windows. Her cold stare rested on me, and my voice got stuck in my throat.

A shiver ran down my spine, as little goosebumps rose all over my body.

That day I had to remind myself over and over again, that I didn't exist. She couldn't see me, there's no way that she could.

She wasn't even looking into my eyes, and she made me freeze. I could only imagine what would happen if she could.

Apart from her, this town was as boring as they came. Everything was constant, everything was repetitive, everything was stuck in a period of stasis; never-evolving. Everything was everything that I used to seek before, but now revolt.

It was my eighty-sixth day when I realised that I had, what one could call superpowers.

I could copy things into my own little ghost world.

I could walk through walls.

I could teleport, only within this town.

I could touch people, but I tended not to because it results in an incredibly horrible sensation for both parties. But I still whisper into the bad bullies' ears when they're in the toilets. I tell them they have a small one, and they're always stuck in between scared beyond belief and offence.

I wish I could fly, but I couldn't.

I wish I could read minds, but I couldn't.

I wish I could stay at home, but I couldn't.

I tried going to Seoul and to my parent's  home before. However, it could only last a day. As soon as I would go to sleep, and open my eyes, I was back in this boring town with boring strangers.

I brought back things from home; like my backpack with all my music making materials. My Simpsons phone case, and my phone.

I like to believe the most amazing miracle is that my phone is fully charged, always. It never runs out of battery, or data. I'm on level thirteen of the Kingdom of the Legends in Galore, soon to reach fourteen. You could say I'm a legend.

Was a legend.

Or whatever.

I try not think about my life before this. I try not think how I ended up here, how my parents are, how the rest of the boys are. I avoid everything that I can about my life when I was alive. When I go back to the dorms or home, I make sure no one is at home.

I can't look at any of them.

"I can't stand the sight of you!"

I shot my head up from my seat and looked at Bomi screaming at her boyfriend, Jung Chul. I shook my head, as the girl kept yelling at the meek-looking boy in front of her.

From what I heard, they had been going out for five years now, and all those years had been exactly the same. They break up and make-up more frequently then frequentation of adverts on non-cable television. Yet, they were the couple that everyone adored, everyone knows they will end up together in the end, and they might.

I spent a whole two weeks watching them, and they were in love. Not those high school ones, the kind that grandparents have. Looking at them made my heart warm, but it reminded me my heart wasn't real.

It wasn't beating anymore; it was dead, like me.

I turned away from the couple and looked at the dirt instead. It was better than watching another episode of how could you forget our first cupcake together anniversary.

Okay, so it wasn't that extreme, but it was.

It was always on the smallest of thing, but they always made up for the same reasons as well. They were a weird couple.

"There they go again." A voice spoke as they settled beside me.

I turned my head, and my eyes almost popped out of their sockets. It was her, the Ice Princess.

She looked exactly the same as the first day I saw her. The first day I had become this ghost. Boyoung's older sister the one with worry and warmth on her face was the infamous Ice Queen of the hellhole.

"Why are they fighting when they'll get back together?" She muttered, under her breath.

"Just let them do want they want," I grumbled back, even though she wouldn't be able to hear me. "Let them live as they want, as long as they are able to."

I got up from my seat and looked at the couple in front of me. The familiar weight returning on my chest as it always did whenever I thought about the gravity of my situation. I wasn't alive, and I wasn't in my afterlife.

I am stuck here; dead, stuck and rotting away.

"At least they are alive." I huffed as I cast my eyes away from them, and began walking away.

"Where are you going?" She asked, and I froze.

"We have a lot to talk about," she smirked as he poked her straw into her banana milk.

"Look," she held up a pick one. "I got strawberry one for you. I heard that you liked it."

The girl sat in her dark blue dress, the ends of her skirt gently fluttering in the wind. The trees around us danced as the autumn breeze rushed through them. A few leaves fell down, floating to the ground, one landed on her lap. She picked it off with her right hand, as the left extended the pink drink towards me.

I was staring at her wide-eyed.

Could she see me?

No, there's no way.

"It's nice to finally officially meet you, Im Jaebum." She smiled at me, softly. Her eyes were on me, and I couldn't move.

My heart drummed in my chest, trying to escape. My breathing felt heavier as the air left my lungs.

How was this possible? How could she see me?

"How?" I asked, breathless. She sat there on the wooden bench. Her hands placed the drink beside her, as her dark hair floated lightly in the wind. Her eyes were soft, but her lips were curling into an arrogant smile.

"You can see me, y/n?" I gulped, my hands shaking beside me. I clenched them into a fist, keeping them still as I shook my head trying to make this dream fade away.

"I can, Jaebum." She answered, shooting me a know-it-all smile.

"How do you know my name?" I shot at her, I glared at her.

"You're part of a boy group, called GOT7. You are the leader, born in 1996, 1.79 meters tall, and you really have a wonderful voice." She fired back, holding my gaze.

"How long have you known it was me?" I asked her, trying to keep level-headed.

"I found out about you yesterday."

"Since when could you see me?" I asked her, quietly.

She bit her lip, as her eyes cast to the ground.

"I saw you from the first day; when we met by the lake."

Anger shot up my spine, as red blinded my vision.

I couldn't believe it. I was shaking with rage, as my breathing laboured.

"Jaebum," she sighed, apologetically as she saw my reaction.

She could see me all along, but she left me alone in this fucking hell alone?

I held out my hand to stop her from saying anything. I didn't need her pity, or her empty words. I didn't need anything from her. At least not for now; anything she says could tip me over. Letting the blinding rage consume every part of my body like blazing fire.

I looked out to the calendar worthy scene in front of me. It was a small lake, with flowers and trees adorning the banks on the other side, and the water glittering golden. The grass beneath me was green, crisp and soft. I relaxed, throwing my head back, my palms sinking into the grass; I welcomed the warm breeze carrying the musky freshness.

Finally, peace and calm.

But, where am I? Maybe I came here to get away from everything and fell asleep?

Little sniffs, from the left of me, suddenly pulled me from my thoughts.

A girl sat there, looking out into the heartwarming scenery, with tears rolling down her cheeks. She wiped her cheeks, and looked at her shaking hands, then the scene in front of her. After a few seconds she repeats her actions in the same order.

Her breathing slowly became raggedy, and her body began shaking furiously.

What's making her feel so sad?

Should I say something?

Before I could say something, she let out a long breathe, followed by a deep breathe; then again, and again.

She grasped her hands in front of her,  and bowed her head squeezing her eyes tight together.

"Ten," she took a deep breath in, then let it out after a second.

"Nine," she repeated her actions again.

"Eight."

"Seven."

"Six."

"Five."

"Four." By the fourth count, her breathing has returned to normal, and she stopped shivering.

"Three."

"Two."

"One," she revealed a big toothy smile. "I am strong, I can do this. If I can believe it, I can do it."

I looked at the kid in front of me, no older then eleven, in complete awe. She was so young, yet so brave.

"You shouldn't be here by yourself." I spoke softly towards her, trying not to scare her. "But you're a brave kid. You remind me of my little niece; I hope she's as brave and smart as you when she's you age." I told her.

She ignored me, and continued to look out at the scenery, before getting up and spinning around like crazy.

"Jesus Christ! What is wrong with you child?" I yelped in shock.

Suddenly, she stopped and peered up towards the sky. "I miss twirling with you mum."

She was twirling.

Tears brimmed her eyes again, but she pushed them back with a smile.

"Hi." I tried again.

Nothing.

"Oh I get it! Don't talk to strangers, right? But, you should run away from them too." I looked at her, slightly frowning. "Especially, in secluded place like this. Now run along."

She didn't reply, but picked up her bag.

"I love this place, because no one knows about it." She smiled another toothy grin. "I do now." I sighed in return.

She ignored me once again, and stalked off.

I looked around to see the dense forest surrounding the area, and without doubt I knew I was lost.

"Hey, can you show me the way out?" I asked, getting up.

She started humming in response, and I took that as a yes, as I started walking behind her.

The kid in black tights, and a frozen t-shirt, led me towards the main road.

"Thanks." I smiled at her. Just as I was about to ruffle her hair, a voice boomed stopping me.

"Boyoung! Come here right now!" I looked over to see a girl around my age, standing there, glaring at me, as her chest rose up and down.

"Unni!" Boyoung ran up to her.

"Where were you? What are you doing here?"

"I was just looking for cicadas for a school project," the younger girl pouted. The older looked at her, and nodded before sighing and burying the younger into her torso.

"Didn't I tell you not to wonder off without telling me?" She stroked Boyoung's cheek, with a patient yet worried expression.

"Sorry, unnie," she hugged her back.

I stood there watching the situation unfold between the two sisters, feeling slightly out of place.

After a moment, Boyoung grabbed the girl's hand and started pulling her towards me.

Is she going to introduce us?

The older girl held my gaze as she walked towards me, her eyes looking deep into mine. When she was right in front of me, her face turned into slight shock before she cast her eyes from me. She breezed past me like I didn't exist. The younger girl lead her way, marching forward and past me like she couldn't see me.

I let out a chuckle feeling somewhat insulted.

"Yah, little kid!" I yelled after the two girls. They kept walking ignoring me. I let out a frustrated sigh and turned towards them, running in their direction.

"At least help me find a taxi, or to get to town?" I reasoned, a few steps behind them. "I don't even know where I am..." I trailed off, looking at the ground.

The two didn't hear my plea and kept strolling forward, paying no regard to me.

"Hey!" I reached out for the older. She moved slightly towards the side, out of my way, as she reached inside her bag. However, I kept moving forward. The momentum of my body kept me moving forward, making my body fall forwards.

I crashed hard against the ground, hissing in innate response. Only the sting never came, I looked at my hands, that were already healing, leaving stains of dry blood. I looked at my hand that traveled through a little girl's arm.

I was about to the catch that little girl's arm, but I didn't.

I went right through it.

I looked up to see them continuing their walk, unaware of me and my trembling body. I felt the air kick out of my lungs, as white spots blinded my vision.