If I could harem them all I would

Obey Me

Winter 2020 Drabble Prompts Collection (AO3)

"Let's make Christmas cookies together!"

Is what they'd said so excitedly to Solomon a few days ago that they'd completely forgotten one very crucial fact.

Solomon has no skills in the kitchen. 

Unless you of course counted his ability to turn anything he makes inedible to the point that even Beelzebub, the avatar of gluttony, couldn't keep it down a skill. 

But they'd already agreed to have Solomon come over to the House of Lamentation tomorrow to bake some cookies together (Luke had texted in their group chat with the angels to please, please not bake in the kitchen in Purgatory Hall when he overheard their conversation while Simeon contributed a scared and shaking sticker in response) and they couldn't exactly back out then. Solomon seemed to think there was nothing wrong with his creations and they didn't want to make the sorcerer feel bad by suddenly cancelling.

With that all said and done, MC had no other choice but to prepare the House for Solomon's arrival to try and mitigate some of the damage they're expecting to come as a result of Solomon's... concoctions.

The first thing they do is head to Lucifer's office, all the while practicing their apology in hopes the eldest brother doesn't get too angry with them. But no matter how much they'd practice their speech, the resounding 'Enter' that they receive after knocking completely causes them to blank out.

"Er, hey Luci," MC greets awkwardly as they shuffle inside, hands fiddling with the hem of their uniform nervously. "Are you busy right now?"

Lucifer simply raises a perfectly arched brow at the human, taking note of the way they fidgeted under his gaze and sighs, setting down the papers he'd been examining. Clasping his fingers together on top of his desk and resting his chin upon them, he asks, "What is it, MC?"

Sheepishly, MC rubs the back of their neck and directs their gaze anywhere, but the demon in front of them as the words tumble out of their lips. "So you know how Christmas is coming in the human world, right?"

Lucifer blinks, but nods in return. For once, he's unsure exactly what about the jolly holiday caused the human so much grief, but he lets them continue speaking.

They take a deep breath and—"ImayhaveinvitedSolomonovertobakeChristmascookieswithmepleasedon'tgetmad."

It takes him a second to parse through the jumble of words, but the moment he does he could feel his wings burst out of his back as his demon form took over before it's gone, tucked again in his human form underneath a very thin layer of patience only brought forth by the human's scared 'Eep!'.

Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out an exasperated sigh. Of all troubling things he’s had to deal with recently, not even Mammon had brought him this much grief.

"Pray tell, why?"

"I completely forgot that Solomon's a menace in the kitchen," MC explains, fiddling once more with their sleeves, "I was just so excited to celebrate the holidays with someone who would understand."

Lucifer purses his lips.

Of course, their human would begin to feel homesick. They've been here for a majority of the year, but it still doesn't erase the homesickness they must've felt since the beginning. And this Christmas holiday was usually celebrated with close family, friends, or a significant other so it made sense that those feelings would hit hardest during this time of year.

With a heavy sigh and plans to schedule a time for someone to come in and fix their kitchen afterwards, Lucifer reluctantly agrees to let them use the kitchen. "Just... Make sure you warn the others not to step foot in the kitchen that day. Please. I don't want to have to cart all of them to the hospital afterwards."

The bright, thankful smile MC sends their way is almost enough to make up for the fact that he's willingly letting chaos step foot into their kitchen. Almost.

He waves MC off with a reminder to let the others know as well and returns back to his work.

Suddenly, the weight on his shoulders felt a lot heavier than before MC came in. Though, the heaviness in his heart has lightened up considerably.

~°~°~°~

House of Lamentation (New) (8)

MC: *smiling sticker*

MC: Hey, everyone!

Mammon: *question mark sticker*

Asmodeus: *question mark sticker*

Leviathan: *question mark sticker*

Beelzebub: What's up, MC?

Satan: Did something happen?

MC: Ah, well...

MC: You could say that...

Belphegor: Spit it out.

MC: So, you know the Christmas holiday I was telling you all about a few days ago?

Mammon: The one where you get lots of gifts?

Asmodeus: The one for couples right? 

Asmodeus: *hearts sticker*

Beelzebub: The one where you get to eat lots of good food

Beelzebub: *eating sticker*

Belphegor: Beel, you're drooling.

Leviathan: Speaking of, I should get my list of merch to buy when things go on sale after

Leviathan: Thanks for the reminder!

Satan: Yes, MC

Satan: What about it?

MC: You know how I mentioned I liked to bake cookies to give out to friends and family as gifts?

Beelzebub: Are you making some for us?

Mammon: I mean, of course they are. Why wouldn't they?

Asmodeus: A gifted cookie from MC? 

Asmodeus: Filled with their hard work and love???

Asmodeus: I look forward to receiving some ;)

Belphegor: Hm.

Belphegor: There's a catch isn't there

MC: Ha... 

MC: How did you know, Belphie?

MC: Anyway, yes. I'll be baking some cookies tomorrow afternoon

Beelzebub: *awed sticker*

Mammon: A cookie from MC!

Asmodeus: *hearts sticker*

Mammon: Not that I want one of anything. I'd just feel bad since you’ll probably cry if I don’t eat it, that's all.

MC: The catch is Solomon is helping me

Beelzebub: *scared sticker*

Asmodeus: *scared sticker*

Mammon: *scared sticker*

Leviathan: *scared sticker*

Satan: *scared sticker*

Belphegor: It can't be that bad, can it?

Leviathan: Trust me.. it's that bad.

Satan: Beel won't even eat it

Beelzebub: It makes my stomach hurt

Belphegor: Okay. That's pretty bad

MC: Yeah, so

MC: Do you guys mind staying out of the kitchen while we're in there?

MC: I don't want you guys to get roped in as taste-testers

Asmodeus: Does Lucifer know?

MC: Mhm, yeah. He's the first to find out

MC: I think he was muttering about getting someone to come in afterwards and fix anything Solomon breaks when I left his office

MC: So we should still have our kitchen once we're done with it

MC: And I'll try to make a few good batches to share with you guys, don't worry

Beelzebub: *thank you sticker*

Asmodeus: *thank you sticker*

Satan: Thanks MC :)

Leviathan: Yeah, thanks!

Mammon: *smile sticker*

Belphegor: Good luck tomorrow

--- end --- 

MC tucks their phone back into their pocket and eyes the clock wearily. 

"I guess I should check and make sure we have everything we'll need for tomorrow. Then," they pause and take out their phone, smiling at the text they just received. "We wait."

~°~°~°~

Solomon

Solomon: Looking forward to tomorrow 

Solomon: *Whoo! Sticker*

MC: *dance sticker*

 --- end ----

 ~°~°~°~

The House of Lamentation is quiet. Quiet enough that the eerie creaks some of the doors made rang through the silent house. 

Anyone stepping foot inside would think that the house must be empty aside from their host.

But it's not.

No, in fact, MC was 99.9% sure they know exactly where each demon brother had locked themselves up in. 

Asmo is no doubt having a long soak in his bathroom, music turned low, candles lit, and flower petals floating in his bathwater. Levi on the other hand is probably having a quiet marathon of one of his shows—he often got loud when he gamed and catching Solomon's attention was just not it for him today.

Lucifer is likely in his study, getting some more work done (though MC has an inkling the eldest is also having a few glasses of demonus to try and deal with the whole 'Solomon is in my kitchen' issue) while Satan has his head buried in a new series in his bedroom. 

The twins are likely in the attic; Belphie having a good nap while Beel tries to pace himself with the snacks he and Belphie had brought up with them to tide over his hunger while Solomon was around.

Mammon, MC knows, is out doing a modelling gig as recommended by Lucifer. In the eldest's words: "No matter what, Mammon has no idea how to be quiet so it's best if he leaves the House while Solomon is here" which had been followed by Mammon's offended "Oi! Quit talking about me like I'm not here!"

In conclusion, the House is definitely not empty, but its inhabitants are playing 'away' to try and avoid becoming taste-testers.

It is, after all, finally time for MC and Solomon to bake some holiday cookies. 

MC passes Solomon a black apron while they grab their own purple one and tug it on. Reaching behind them, they begin to gather the strings when Solomon's fingers gently brush theirs aside.

"Here, let me," he whispers into their ear as his fingers deftly begin tying the strings into a pretty bow. "There. All finished," he murmurs into their ear once more, causing MC to bite back a shiver at the caress of warm air. 

Solomon steps back as MC turns and begins to busy themselves with organizing the ingredients in front of them.

"Thanks," they end up murmuring, bowing their head down in hopes of hiding the flush of their cheeks from their companion.

Solomon simply smiles and doesn't comment on it as he tugs on his own apron. Once done, he turns to them and tilts his head curiously. "You're measuring the ingredients?"

MC's hands freeze mid-pour into the bowl on the scale and their brows furrow in confusion. "Wait, hold on. Why does that sound like a question."

"Because it is?"

Blinking, MC rights the bag of flour and turns to Solomon with a frown. "Do you measure your ingredients?"

"There's no need to. I trust my potions skills."

"But you're not making potions??" To their credit, MC only sounds half-hysterical when all they really want is to grab the man by his shoulders and shake him to try and get some sense into his brain. "You're literally baking. Having measured amounts of stuff is what makes sure it'll turn out good."

"But potion-making and cooking are practically the same. You add ingredients into a heated surface and then you get something out of it." 

Nevermind. That half is slowly climbing into full-blown hysterical.

"That's—Okay, that's fair, but you should still measure stuff."

"Whatever I make always ends up fine to eat, but if you say so then I guess we can measure things out based on the recipe." Solomon eyes the recipe for chocolate chip cookies and hums. "I'll go ahead and measure the sugar while you finish with the flour."

MC barely manages to stifle their cry. "But they don't turn out fine. That's the point." 

"Did you say something, MC?” 

They let out an exasperated sigh, close their eyes, and pinch the bridge of their nose.

'Please, God. Grant me the patience I'll need to deal with this man.'

When they feel their skin warm slowly and a feeling of peace settle within them, MC knows that, had they not just received that blessing, they would be freaking out. After all, the fact God granted their prayer immediately meant even he knew there was nothing else that could be done concerning Solomon’s abilities in the kitchen.

"No, let's just get this done," MC mutters in defeat.

Solomon grins. "We'll make the best cookies, yet."

"Really, I'm just hoping they'll be edible."

 "Did you say something again?"

"No, nothing."

"Hm, weird. I must still be feeling the side-effects from one of my spells."

MC simply shakes their head and readies themselves for a long afternoon.

~°~°~°~

When the cookies are taken out of the oven, MC could barely stop themselves from tearing up.

Somehow, someway, the cookies look fine. No, not just fine, they look perfect!

"Let's let them cool and then we can start packing them into bags," MC suggests once the final baking sheet is out of the oven. 

"Should we try some first? They look really good and they smell really good," Solomon says as he scans the dozens of cookies. "I wouldn't mind having one right now, actually."

"It might be too hot so be careful," MC warns as Solomon reaches to pick one up. They watch him blow on it to cool it before holding it out to them with a smile. 

"Why don't you take the first bite?" Solomon asks. "You did do most of the work, after all."

Hesitantly, MC leans over and takes a bite of the cookie. Eyes widening, they beam happily at Solomon as they chew.

Swallowing, they gesture for Solomon to take a bite excitedly. "It tastes amazing! Have a bite!"

"Don't mind if I do," he responds and, with a sly smile, bites right where MC had bitten, causing red to bloom on their cheeks. He chews thoughtfully, staring up at the ceiling before redirecting his gaze to MC as he swallows.

"Yes, I have to agree with you," MC swallows at the heat in Solomon's eyes as he murmurs, "That particular bite was deliciously sweet that I can't help but want more.” 

"Um, go ahead then. Have some more," they gesture at the cookies shyly.

Solomon's lips form a sly smirk as he takes a step closer. "Are you certain you want to say that? I’m not exactly referring to the cookies." The hand holding the cookie falls, treat forgotten as Solomon takes another step, and another until they're so close to each other that they can feel the light puffs of air as Solomon speaks. "Well?"

This wasn't about the cookie anymore. Maybe it hadn't been since the start. Maybe this was a way for them to get to know Solomon even more and find out just what's in that brilliant brain of his. They didn't know, but while they may not know the answer to that question, they certainly knew the answer to this one.

"Kiss me," they whisper.

"With pleasure."

And when their lips meet oh so gently, MC lets out a pleased sigh. They can taste the chocolate on his lips, just as addicting as the rest of him. When he nips at their bottom lip teasingly, MC lets out a quiet sound of pleasure.

They don't know how long the kiss took, but when Solomon pulls away, all they could think of was that it hadn't been long enough.

"Let's put these away and then we can get back to what we really want to do. What do you say?"

And really, with an offer as enticing as that is it any wonder that all they can say is—"Yes."

~°~°~°~

Bonus 1 

"Have some cookies!" MC grinned as they passed around bags of the treats they'd made earlier with Solomon.

When all they received were apprehensive looks in return, they rolled their eyes. 

"I swear to my soul and to Diavolo that those cookies won't harm you. I've tried them myself and they taste delicious."

The brothers exchanged looks before Lucifer let out a sigh and opened the bag. Immediately, the delicious smell of cookies filled the air, causing Beelzebub's mouth to water.

Taking out a cookie, Lucifer studied it carefully before finally taking a bite. MC and the brothers held their breath as the eldest chewed and swallowed. Then,

"It tastes good. Almost as good as one Barbatos made.” 

"That's good enough proof for me," says Beelzebub as he opens the bag and shoves a cookie into his mouth without care. The rest of the brothers take a second of stunned silence before they began to hesitantly open their own bags.

As they snack on the gifted treats, a chorus of thank-yous leaves their giddy lips. Even Belphegor who'd been sleepily clutching his pillow earlier is wide awake, munching quietly on a cookie. 

"I'm glad you guys liked it," MC says as they shuffle to sit beside Lucifer. Leaning in, their eyes glitter with mischief as they share a secret. "Honestly, I didn't think they would end up tasting good since Solomon was helping, but he really surprised me today."

Lucifer carefully seals the bag again, planning to save the rest of the cookies for later before turning to face them. "Oh? How so?" 

"Mhm, well, for starters he doesn't measure his ingredients, which is probably why his cooking always turns bad. Another thing that he surprised me today was his ability to actually end up producing something that wasn't just edible, but good too." 

They hesitate to say their next words long enough that Lucifer picks up on it and, raising a brow, asks, "What's the last thing?"

"He's quite charming," MC says with a light blush.

"Charming," Lucifer repeats, his eye twitching subtly in annoyance. "In what way?"

"Well, in a way that ended up with us kissing for a while afte—Luci, where are you going?" MC quickly pushes themselves off the couch to follow Lucifer as he heads out of the room, a menacing aura following him.

"I need to pay Purgatory Hall a visit. There's a certain pest I need to deal with."

"W-wait, no, Luci—!"

 ~°~°~°~

Bonus 2

"I don't understand," MC raises their hands in the air in confusion. "You followed the recipe right to the gram. I watched you measure and put things in. How did it end up like this?"

The thing the two humans in Devildom were staring in silence at is a block of gray matter inside the pot that would bubble ominously at times, releasing a gas that smells like fish every time a bubble broke the surface.

"I literally watched you the entire time. What happened?" MC bemoans. 

Solomon sighs and covers the pot with its lid, his nose wrinkling when another bubble breaks the surface. "I don't have an answer for that. It seems that the cookies were merely a fluke. Perhaps a once in a lifetime kind of miracle."

MC covers their face in bewilderment. "I don't understand."

Patting their shoulder, Solomon shakes his head quietly. "Some things just aren't meant to be understood."

“MC! What are you cookin—" 

The two glance up and spot a frozen Luke at the doorway. The younger boy's face slowly goes from curious to horrified before he's sprinting out of the room.

"Simeon! Simeon! Solomon's in the kitchen again!!"

Solomon and MC hear the clatter of something falling and a yelp before the thudding footsteps resume.

Blinking and simultaneously deciding to ignore what had just happened, they turn back to the pot in concern.

"What should we do about the thing?" MC asks.

Solomon shakes his head. "We have to get rid of it."

"Even the pot?"