LISA ♱

Vash didn’t like to express his feelings, if he did it would have been under circumstances where he couldn’t bottle them up any longer.

It was the first thing you noticed about him when you began travelling alongside him almost a year ago, the fact Vash would rather suffer in silence then having other people worry about him, especially you. He had reasons though, he would mention time to time how he feels like he doesn’t have the right to be sad, he doesn’t deserve that luxury. He truly believes he has hurt people to the point of no rehabilitation.

And it hurts you, you find yourself wanting to just hold him until the soreness leaves his muscles, the stress fades, the world around him falling quiet, leaving only the two of you and the steady beat of his heart. You did just that on the days where his feelings were on the brink of slipping.

Today was one of those days.

All day, there had been something off about Vash. He still smiled, still joked when the opportunity came about – but there was a weight in his actions, a tension around him and his usually bright demeanour. You knew when he forced his laugh – the laugh that made you feel oh so light on your feet. He was carrying himself around like a shadow, his brows constantly furrowed at the nothingness he was spaced out staring at. Normally, his eyes lit up with a warmth that made your heart ache, they now were dim, shadowed by the thoughts behind them she wishes she could hear. He kept his chatter short, he didn’t trail off, rambling away like he was clearing a full storage from his head. You knew he carried a life of pain and suffering, but he always managed to mask it under his bright shine, but right now you could see it was slipping, crumbling before your eyes as all you could do was watch the pieces fall at his feet.

You knew he would come by and that defences would eventually shatter in front of you, but not now. It had been almost a week, you wanted to badly to talk to him, but the fragile look on his face made you hesitate. You worried if you pushed too hard – too abruptly, he might sink even further into himself. For now, you just stayed close, hoping your presence would send him a small message, that you were with him, and you cared, and whatever was eating away and tearing him apart would go away soon enough.

The small hotel room they found for the night was quiet, the only light around the cramped walls was the moonlight intruding from the window, pairing with the cold air – cooling the wooden floor beneath your feet. The sun had long since dipped below the horizon and yet Vash hadn’t moved from where he sat on the edge of the bed. He was hunched over, his head hanging low as his elbows rested on his knees, his prosthetic hand turning a stray thread on his pants between his fingertips. Though you stood near the doorway, you could tell he was tense. The pale moonlight from the window casted a soft glow along his features. He was beautiful. Even despite the frown painted on his face. The air between you both was heavy, thick with the unspoken words and an ache you didn’t know how to ease. Your brows furrowed at his state, finally deciding to take a few steps closer to where he sat.

‘’Vash,’’ You finally spoke up, barely above a whisper but loud enough for him to hear. He flinched at your tone but didn’t lift his head. His shoulders tensed, his fingers stilled for just a moment before resuming their nervous fidgeting,

‘’Hm?’’ He hummed softly, too soft. Almost detached. You could almost feel your heart physically break at his lack of words, the lack of his cheery you missed oh so dearly. You sighed, kneeling in front of the blonde, your gaze landing on his face, noting his frown replaced with a softer expression.

 ‘’What’s going on?’’, you asked, determined eyes never leaving his, searching his face. ‘’You haven’t been acting like yourself for a week now. What’s bothering you?’’

You catch the way his breathe hitched, and just for a moment, you feared he may brush you off again. To your surprise, a wash of defeat landed on his face, letting out a shaky exhale, eyes finally meeting yours. His eyes were glassy, swelled with the emotions he had been hiding away.

 ‘’It’s nothing...’’ He trailed off, swallowing a lump in his throat, as if he was trying to gather himself. ‘’I just…’’.

‘’Vash.’’ You pressed, your voice becoming firmer. You noted the way he hesitated; you were trying to be patient with him, knowing it wasn’t easy for him to talk about his feelings. ‘’Please. Talk to me,’’ His gaze darted away from yours as his fingers clenched the fabric of his pants.

‘’I just…’’ He started again, his voice beginning to tremble. ‘’I don’t know if I can keep doing this to you.’’

Your brows furrowed in confusion, ‘’Doing what?’’

‘’This,’’ he said, motioning to the room around them both. ‘’Dragging you through all of this. The running, the danger, the scraps…You deserve so much more, you deserve better than this.’’ He hesitated. ‘’Better than me.’’

Your stomach sank at his words, your heart finally shattering to pieces, the pain in his voice felt like a knife cutting through you.  You wasted no time to reach out, placing a hand over his, stilling his restless movements. ‘’Vash,’’ you called softly, your voice steady despite the lump forming in your throat. ‘’Why would you think that?’’

He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head as he tried to look away from your gaze again, making you reach out to cup his cheek, forcing him to meet your eyes. ‘’Look at me,’’ you said firmly, ‘’I’m here with you because I want to be, you’re not doing anything to me. You shouldn’t have to carry such guilt around like it’s yours alone.’’ Tears slipped down his cheeks, and his trembling came up to rest over yours where it cradled his cheek.

‘’You don’t deserve this life,’’ he whispered, his voice broken and choked from his quiet sobs. ‘’You deserve a home, not the small hotel rooms we stay in, and not all the hardship I put you through daily. You deserve peace. You deserve a life of luxury, all the fancy rooms and high-quality meals you could ask for, rather than just scraps. Not this mess.’’ He smiled sadly through his words, smiling at the thought of the things he couldn’t give you. You shook your head, leaning closer until your forehead rested gently against his.

‘’You don’t get to decide what I deserve.’’ You murmured quietly, ‘’I don’t need fancy rooms or lavish meals. I chose you because you’re the life I deserve, hardships and all. So, you’re wrong if you think I’d trade any of this – any of you – I’d rather run for days on end beside you then live a perfect life without you.’’ His breathe hitched again, and this time he didn’t hold back the sob that escaped him. He pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you like you were the only thing anchoring him to the world.

‘’I don’t know what I did to deserve you.’’ He whispered against your shoulder, his voice thick with emotion. You smiled softly, leaving a kiss on the side of his head as you embraced him just as tight, your hand reaching up to comb through his soft blonde locks.

‘’You didn’t have to,’’ you murmured. ‘’Just let me love you. That’s enough.’’

He smiled against your shoulder, letting his body melt into yours.

Home.

AUTHORS NOTE ♱ I'm not the best at writing longer stories but I hope you liked it!! I love writing for vash sm (might consider doing a smut part 2 for this <3).

"hnng!- please please please!"

Vash's face was burried into your shoulder, his back arched so perfectly as his thighs trembled. His hips bucked up into your hand unconsciously, even though the overstimulation hurt, his body seemed to want more.

He loved the way you squeezed his tip with each stroke, how your fast pace never faltered. It didn't help one bit the way you cooed next to his cheek, occasionally nibbling the shell of his ear, it was all overwhelming he was constantly diving in and out of euphoria.

"s'too fast! I cant- I ca-!"

You knew he was close, from how many times hes cum so far you'd think he'd be shooting blanks right about now. His thighs were shaking and squirming, it was difficult trying to keep him down from how much his hips were lifting side to side, his feet practically kicking. Your was busy focusing on keeping his thighs apart, trying to keep them apart and stopping him from squeezing them shut around your hand. He was so so close, his abs were tensing as he whined feeling the coil in his stomach pulling apart inch by inch. His babbling only made you stroke faster.

Vash's cock wasn't human, you would almost mistake the plant shaped memeber had a mind of its own, the surrounding peddles wrapped around your hand, slightly guiding your hand up and down his cock. It kept you from letting go.

"I cant! M'gonna!- m'gonna cum!"

His hands found their way to your wrist, weakly attempting to slow down your strokes. Vash's hips were uncontrollably bucking into your hand now, his body shuddering as he constantly whined and gasped. You would almost think he was crying, his eyelids a shade of pink as tears rolled down his cheeks, which you happily kissed and licked away.

"Don't stop! Please please don't stop- mayfly!"

He screamed when he came, his whole upper body lifting from the bed as his back arched. His thighs shook as long strings of cum shot out of his cock, almost reaching his face. The orgasm hit him hard, and it lasted longer than any of the previous ones, you could tell by how much he was cumming. Vash sniffled and whimpered as the last waves of his orgasm washed over him, his breathing coming out in small gasps almost as if he was attempting to catch his breathe. He was babbling 'I love you's' through his shuddering, his eyes fluttering as he calmed down with the help of your soft affirmations and praises.

Vash gave you a weak and fucked out smile as his eyes softly fluttered closed. Only to soon open back up wide again as he felt you stroke his soft cock again, his hand shooting to your wrist as he panicked.

"Nononono- please! I cant I cant! Stop- Nothin’s gonna' come out!"

His head rolled back into your neck as you softly kissed the crown of his head.

You promised him you would show him how much you loved him, so why stop here?

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